ONEITIS: When Oneitis Is Just A Symptom

Headhongular · 2013-12-15T16:01:51+00:00

Liked the article, absolutly hated the first line though. In fact all you do need is love, the love for yourself.

joshsway · 2013-12-15T15:21:15+00:00

A lot of times, oneitis is just a symptom of a greater problem. Treat your actual problem, not the symptom.

torquesteer · 2013-12-15T20:09:32+00:00

Great article, Josh. I'd also like to add that love is what you give, not what you expect to get. You have to give it unconditionally.

The one thing that resonates with me when I talk to women about men is that they can detect if a guy is giving his love with some expectations of getting something in return. That makes it seem like the love is tainted in some way. If the love is not returned then the love that is given is taken away. That restricts the woman from feeling and dancing in all her glory.

Of course, if the guy has a good frame and/or is pretty well off in his life, they might take a chance anyway. But at that point, you lose the positive emotional aspect and it becomes and a give/take relationship.

The root cause is as you have pointed out: men's needs. If we are not able to spiritually, emotionally, and physically get those needs met, then we seek it in women. Ignore your needs for too long, then they will manifest in your interactions. Amplify your needs for too long (which I was perfectly guilty of for the longest time), and they will infect your actions.

The end of the day, at the point of contact, the question comes down to: why would you let your needs get in the way of what you truly want?

jmikolash · 2013-12-15T17:43:08+00:00

Spot on good chap

ferio252 · 2013-12-15T20:33:28+00:00

Thanks OP! This is totally me right now.

masterrod · 2013-12-16T02:21:51+00:00

Oneitiis is usually a system of not willing to grow.

Sometimes we have awesome relationships, and we don't want them to die. There's nothing wrong with that, but if they stop us from living a fulfilling life professionally, and with friends, we have to check ourselves. This article is a good check.

I've seen people with oneitis with all these bullets in tact, sometimes girl's just hit hard.

But most times, girl or no girl, your fight should be to be happy.

justcallmetarzan · 2013-12-15T19:08:13+00:00

And if your oneitis isn't symptomatic? (Following the article layout) if its...

All you can talk to your friends about?
Making you hopeful, not depressed?
Unrelated to (or validating) the way you look?

If it's an only-have-eyes-for-you situation?

lego18 · 2013-12-15T23:34:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

anon775 · 2013-12-16T14:25:33+00:00

Wow, this hit home, hard

Kaeloso · 2013-12-15T18:49:45+00:00

What I feel day by day but I can't get out of it, because of school loans, work, and feel weird when i go out.

HappyJerk · 2013-12-15T19:49:10+00:00

Good article.

Climbing_a_Mountain · 2013-12-15T21:04:05+00:00

What a fancy and encouraging article only wish I had red something like it just two years ago -.-

giveitawaynowgive · 2013-12-16T02:46:28+00:00

I'm 35 years old, and happily married. I subscribed to this because it is kind of like reading the male equivalent of Cosmo dating advice. Mostly so laughable it is good.

This is the only good advice I've happened to notice here. Your unrequited love is only as deep as your unhappiness for yourself.

There is no strong aphrodisiac than self-confidence. It can't be faked. It has to be built up. If you are 100% happy waking up by yourself then someone else will be that much more drawn to wake up with you.

Cthulu2013 · 2013-12-16T02:53:36+00:00

This is stupid, I've formed stronger friendships, accomplished a fuck load, discovered myself, become more confident, laid some very nice women, and yet I find it is all in vain, because I miss my best friend, fucking 1 year later, she's got a kid now, lives with her boyfriend, fiance, whatever the fuck they are, I hate myself for missing her but I don't hate her anymore.

My oneitis is signified by the loss of my innocence, and my plunging into cynicism. Everyone I talk to says things like "ya my wife would never do that to me, we are so strong together, you dodged a bullet ", that's exactly how I felt, bonny and Clyde, us against the world, the next day it was gone. Don't go around spewing your bullshit oneitis advice until you have a story of your own.

2013-12-16T13:41:56+00:00

Best way to crush oneitis is to ask her out instantly, if fail delete number and no contact, if win u win brah.

(srs)

leeroy25 · 2013-12-16T15:47:14+00:00

I could really use some advice. Found out one of my good friends and current roommate has been fucking my oneitis girl for the past few months and it has really thrown me off my game in every aspect. What can I do to help myself through this? I just can't imagine having to hear him fuck her when I'm sleeping in the next room... That would absolutely kill me.

Title	ONEITIS: When Oneitis Is Just A Symptom
Author	joshsway
Upvotes	224
Comments	27
Date	December 15, 2013 3:20 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sxoiq/oneitis_when_oneitis_is_just_a_symptom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/oneitis-when-oneitis-is-just-a-symptom.1363096 https://theredarchive.com/post/1363096

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