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[–]ladybirdcawcaw 16 points17 points18 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you do online date, maybe use the same username as your Reddit account. Very seductive and alluring, EngineeringMuscle.
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
huhu
[–]witha_ph 12 points13 points14 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
but it seems like they're all empty-headed
This is a strange thing to say. You're the one approaching them - how is online suddenly going to change this? You're not going to have 100s of girls messaging you clamouring for your attention.
Sounds like the problem is you here tbh.
[–]TyTy235 8 points9 points10 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For a while I had similar feelings about the women I was meeting. Thought the women were "empty headed" or boring, but it was NOT them, it was the conversation we were having.
When first meeting someone at a bar, or wherever, the conversation is often small talk. So I would have the same boring ass conversations with women about topics I didn't really want to be talking about. It takes skill and practice to lead a conversation into something that interests you.
Eventually I did the online dating thing in the hopes of meeting a girl that I could have a meaningful conversation/relationship with. Went on a bunch of dates that had more immediate connection and flow of conversation. Knowing something about her, and having some of the small talk out of the way lead to really enjoyable dates.
Ultimately I have realized that the problem wasn't that the girls were empty headed that I was meeting out at the bars, but that I wasn't pushing the conversation into realms that I wanted it to be.
The girls online are the same ones that are out at bars, the only difference is how they are approached.
[–]witha_ph 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I agree with you here now that I've thought about it some more - I have met many amazing women in bar - but almost exclusively via friends. Not total strangers.
[–]kazagistar 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Indeed. The empty headed comment jumped out at me. Being quick to judge and discount people loses you many oppertunities in life.
[–]mytuppence 26 points27 points28 points 13 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
If you think all girls are empty-headed, maybe you are approaching the wrong girls. Try a new venue.
As for my luck with online dating, being black is not the way to go.
[–]yenners6 points 13 years ago [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link
or Asian. I think okcupid came out with some research showing how racist men and women are.
[–]nukacola 8 points9 points10 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You mean like this?
[–]CrappyPUA 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What I inferred from this post: Black chicks on OKC, It's like fish in a barrel.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is me with Asian guys on okcupid haha
[–]SenorSpicyBeans 14 points15 points16 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sexual preference does not imply racism.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WTF guys. Read the post about victim metality. Im short, and it is and advantage. I get to be somewhat inocent, and girls get turned on when seeing a short man with big balls.
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]superyay 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Did you not read the official definition of racism above? Jesus.
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]superyay 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol idk just saw it above this one
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]superyay 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ehh I honestly don't really care
[–]sunealoneal4 points 13 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
empty-headed
Something tells me your lack of success has less to do with "finding the right girl".
Either you're selectively recalling "empty headed" women, very unlucky in terms of your environment, or you're mislabeling many women as empty headed.
Explain what you mean?
[–]EngineeringMuscle 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cute girls who only care about looks and how others perceive them. They're usually super cute.. but boring as hell to talk to.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make sure you have some really good photos and excellent writing skills.
Funny, easy to read, to the point, a bit of wit, incorporate what they posted in their profile, etc.
It is a different challenge than approaching.
[–]fartuckyfartbandit 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
A few years ago, still kind of fresh in pua journey, I really spent a lot of time casting nets across a few online dating sites. The thinking was, I could get a lot of dates with minimal effort, and what I learned is, it is easier but not in that sense. You end up having to put in far too much work but it is incredibly easy. Besides putting yourself out there on the internetz, there's really nothing that difficult for you as an individual. If you want mad pussy (what I was striving for back then, and fartucky get real that's still pretty true lol) you'd be better served sticking to real life. A 5 minute conversation can get you a date that could have required 8 messages (all opportunities for you to fail), over 4 days (huge time span, creates ample opportunity for her to not remember you) and I feel like instadates or number closes in life create less flakier girls. BUT I will say this, online dating has many many practical applications for theory and experimentation. You can learn a lot just by reading profiles, and following basic patterns in womens' psychology. There are also much much more sinister applications (nothing illegal or immoral, but I consider it dark sideish).
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Jeez, eight messages? I never do more than one, reply, then suggest a date. Subsequent messages are just logistics. Very occasionally they say it's too fast, but we're talking one in 50.
Online is very efficient because you can meet a lot of people who are by definition single and looking. However, I generally meet hotter girls IRL.
[–]fartuckyfartbandit 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It can get up there depending on the girl and the site. That's the issue with online, it takes much more work to create memorability and even then it's merely digital. There are pros and cons to everything, I just personally feel like going to a busy street, doing some day game for 30 minutes gives better results than an entire day of online dating.
What you said is true about these women being single and looking. The thing is outside, I'm also exploring an untapped, unapproached market of women. There are more women irl.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
they're all empty headed? get outta here bro there is always plenty more out there to meet.
[–]dillpiccolol 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I get occasional dates from online sites, but I wouldn't make it your only avenue for meeting women.
[–]jk147 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This, view it as one source of meeting people but not the sole source.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Online dating is great way to get some dating experience without the stress and pressure a lot of people feel going out, but you will have to deal with a lot of bullshit as well:
I always recommend people go for girls without pics up, or go to sites with no pics, then analyze their writing and background to make a decent guess at how they look in person, this is surprisingly more accurate than using their profile pics in a lot of cases.
I think TofuTofu has a decent guide up somewhere about net game, you should check it out.
[–]CoriCelesti 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is true. I've tried a couple dating sites just out of curiosity (I'm female), and end up getting on average 2-6 messages every day from guys. I'm not trying to be egotistical or anything, it's just true.
The wording in both profiles is really what you should go by. I'm going to totally ignore a guy who is hitting on me (saying I'm pretty in the first message, wanting to hook up, etc) or has limited info in their profile. Find common interests and express who you are. It will help you stand out among the guys.
Make sure you have at least one nice picture of yourself up, too. The no picture profiles make me more suspicious than anything. Either the person has self confidence issues or is lying about something. If you don't have access how digital picture (and really, very few don't), state it in your profile and explain why.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
In Japan it's really bad. Chicks with model hot pics are fairly common but they get spammed by literally hundreds of messages daily. Their accounts will often auto close a few days of being put up due to inbox full errors and shit. Which is why OkC sucks in general here.
You can go blind with good results though. Tried true and tested, it used to be one of my main pickup strategies when I first started out.
[–]CoriCelesti 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Hm, fair enough. I've dated before from random chat rooms. I guess I'm just naturally suspicious of the guys without pictures, though.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Some girls are, which is why if they ask you for pics, you exchange pics. The problem is, when the texting goes like this:
< after several get know you messages>
Guy: Let's hang out next week, when are you free?
Girl: Hmmm, how about Thursday night?
Guy: Ok, but can we exchange pics first? <because im gonna cancel on your ass if you're fugly>
While this works, it leaves the girl with a shitty impression of you, and most hot chicks have this "anti-guys-who-think-im-hot-and-want-to-fuck-me-because-im-hot" vibe going despite the logical obvious that every guy who ever fucks her is glad that she is hot.
My experimentation is all done in Japan though, and most western chicks don't have as many sexual road blocks that asian chicks have.
Of course, in your case none of this applies because you're a chick. Just ask guys for their pic and it saves them from having to look like a dick. Also, guys that are hot will 100% put that pic up (they don't get spammed like hot chicks do), garaunteed. Only ugly dudes, unphotogenic dudes, or married / LTRed dudes won't put pics up, none of whom you likely want to bang.
[–]CoriCelesti 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I can understand that. It defensively would be easier for the girl to ask in that kind of situation. Although, I must say that there are some totally got guys that are just horribly not photogenic. So yeah, I guess there are benefits to talking for a bit first, instead of instantly judging on looks based on one or two (possibly misleading) photos.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Although, I must say that there are some totally got guys that are just horribly not photogenic.
I know I'm one of them, how bout friday at 8pm?
[–]CoriCelesti 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure. Can my boyfriend come along? >.> (Ironically, I met him through a completely random Google+ hangout.)
[–]_No_way_ 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you link me to a resource on how do you do this magic? This sounds like mysteries and wizards.
Read their email address: [email protected] or other cute names give you a clue.
Read their neediness level, lots and lots of text, trying to find a connection, etc, means their acting desperate which hot chicks don't do.
Find out what their job is, this can be a dead give away sometimes, and sometimes not.
Although all of these tips work better in a country where on average girls are hotter, I prolly wouldn't try it in america.
[–]gregariousbarbarian 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I gave online dating a shot, it's a waste.
I got very few responses, and of those responses the girls were not very attractive. I wouldn't say I'm very attractive, but I'm certainly not ugly...
Seriously, I pull higher quality with less effort offline. Simple reality of being able to execute game better in real life (imagine trying to use most of the info given here online, yeah, not really possible).
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Been on 5 dates from okc. Sex on first date twice, third base on another, and the girls were hot.
However, I don't really have a problem meeting girls offline, so I just use it as a supplement. Also, I'm really only using it to meet girls to hook up with, I don't want a girlfriend or anything. I'm honest about this up front, and so far the two girls keep coming back for more hookups. Woot. Get some, OP.
[–]RAPE_PATROL 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How did you deal with logistics? Start at your place? Neutral locations have been a killer for boning.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I always start neutral. All three times started at a bar, and ended up at the girl's place. The timescale was #1- four hours after meeting (this was the 3rd base, and FWIW, I could've sealed it, but just wasn't enough into her). #2- three hours after meeting #3. three hours after meeting. I just never push hard until the first kiss, then I escalate really, really fast. Before the kiss, I just listen, and ask questions about what they say, and joke around a bit. I really limit the amount I talk about myself, and I'm always as modest as possible. Each time, I get them out of the bar and headed back to their place within ~5 minutes of that first kiss.
This last time, I tried something new because I wasn't seeing the window to kiss her. I told her I had to go pee, but that when I got back, I'd probably try to make a move on her. When I got back to the table, she was all smiles, and bam. Easy-cheesy. And then I felt her up and asked if she wanted to leave.
So far, they've all had a great time, and keep wanting more. Even the third base wants more, but she ain't gettin' it....
I'm gonna go out on another okc date next week, but this girl's already sent me naked vids via email, so I don't think there's a lot of work left to do.
[–]RAPE_PATROL 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love making a move when I come back, that shit's gold.
[–]Jarfanterf 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do you plan logistics to end up back at her place? Is it a bar near her place? Do you ask her where she lives and then choose a bar near her instead of near you?
[–]ComeFromTheWater 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Online dating is great for people who work a lot. If you have a good profile and can use some good icebreakers, you'll have success. Just use it to supplement to going out and sarging. It doesn't take too long, and it's a whole pool of girls that you wouldn't meet otherwise.
[–]Cintdrix 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
See this relevant thread from a week ago
[–]kurtgodelisdead 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't have a problem approaching girls.. but it seems like they're all empty-headed.
Where are you meeting these women? Bars & clubs?
Try going to college campuses, book stores, coffee shops..
Intellectual women are out there, not just online.. Just go where they do.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nothing wrong with it. I have a older friend who met his wife through Match.com years ago. Try your luck, never know who you will meet.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I met my now-ex-wife that way.
[–]KhwamRuu 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This comes up pretty often. Online game is a cool add-on to whatever you're already doing, but it shouldn't be the focus of your efforts.
Make an OKCupid, put up some good pictures of you doing what you love with the people you love, fill in all the blurbs and strike a balance between being confident/funny and douchey, then let it run in the background as you go about your life.
[–]Methaxetamine 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How old are you OP? Around 30-35 is when they get really horny.
21
Finding women online to date in real life is perfectly fine. I wouldn't even consider it a shot to the ego. Online relationships, on the other hand, are for losers. Don't fall in love with your computer screen.
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[–]ladybirdcawcaw 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]witha_ph 12 points13 points14 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TyTy235 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]mytuppence 26 points27 points28 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]yenners6 points [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]nukacola 8 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrappyPUA 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]SenorSpicyBeans 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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