Pick one: be yourself or be confident

Mango-Character · 2022-07-16T23:11:21+00:00

If you're cool with yourself, then you are confident

What you are calling "confident" as something separate from yourself, is actually narcissism.

PenguinLegos · 2022-07-16T23:20:13+00:00

Being true to the best version of yourself is what creates confidence. There is no separation. If you are trying to be someone else then you don’t come off as confident. You come off as inauthentic and that’s very noticeable.

If you are your truest self and you absolutely love that version of yourself with no excuses. Then you will be confident and you will radiate confidence because you will never hold back who you really are.

ReorgAtty · 2022-07-17T00:10:03+00:00

This is like saying you weren’t born muscular, so by going to the gym and cultivating muscle, you’re no longer yourself. This is wrong. You can be yourself and remain true to yourself and yet cultivate confidence.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-16T23:15:05+00:00

I like this read. It makes me ask if you are interpreting confidence as something other than being genuine.

Or that lack of action in a social situation is for a lack of confidence.

What about standing your ground?

Do you have to stick your neck out every time?

Just some rhetorical questions, because being calm and quiet is sometimes more attractive and necessary than being spazzy and forward. These are just some other interpretations of confidence.

nbh1995 · 2022-07-16T22:54:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

diavolo671 · 2022-07-16T22:55:19+00:00

Is there exercise to be confident or ourselves ? I don't really understand

rudebwoy100 · 2022-07-16T23:20:09+00:00

The term " just be yourself" is mainly rubbish because humans aren't equal and our current version of ourselves for a lot of people isn't good enough. Instead it should be "be the best version of yourself" and that would yield good results and that's in dating or any other facet of life and now you wouldn't have to change your personality and fake confidence you just rather would be confident.

NastyMonkeyKing · 2022-07-17T01:25:15+00:00

I think you thought past the right answer. Idk what but this is off.

If you're not confident it's because you don't think you're worth it or you don't live yourself. But you can do things your proud of and gain confidence. That's still you being genuine. But now you have confidence as well v

When I wanted to learn new things and change I wondered will people think I'm fake? No. It's wildly different from what I did before but I want to my life to be wildly different. It's stil me. But what I am is changing. To what I want to be. By doing the things I think the person I want to be would do.

cobraCL · 2022-07-17T06:06:38+00:00

I unfortunately don't agree with this post in the slightest. ☺️ A person who is brave enough to walk the earth without masks is the textbook definition of 'give no fucks' confidence. Authenticity is magnetic, and multiple 'flaws' or quirks can be presented as a strength if you own it hard enough. If you are fully accepting of yourself, you will understand that you can be flawed AND respectable and desirable at the same time You then project this inner-fortitude outward and other people in multiple spheres of your life will get the memo too.

Authenticity had nothing to do with a lack of confidence and ESPECIALLY not co-dependency. A co-dependent man doesn't have to primp and posture and play power games like a narc, he has to simply learn personal boundaries, self esteem, assertiveness, and to develop his passions and interests fully so that he has a rewarding life outside of his romantic pursuits.

Narcissists are proven to be the most fragile people because they know their self-image is made of glass. They don't have confidence. They have transactional pseudo-confidence which may charm people initially but nearly all people see through the charade eventually.

They are constantly anxious about managing their multiple public images and are terrified of being "exposed" as a phony. They shrivel up and die inside when someone is better at something (anything). They are miserable and chronically jealous of people who are genuinely healthy and happy. And thus, the only way they can accrue ANY social capital is to use dark psychology to manipulate naive targets into giving them social power, because they know that they would not be able to do so with their fragile authentic selves.

SalamanderNo3872 · 2022-07-17T04:30:15+00:00

I'm confident in myself

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-07-17T05:30:28+00:00

You get confindence by actions and getting a positive response from the world

SonOfSatan · 2022-07-17T08:04:07+00:00

I don't think you don't really understand the concept of an "inner child". Your inner child is confident and carefree, like all children are until they are stifled by the world, their parents, teacher and peers at school. They are taught to be ashamed of themselves and not to express themselves freely, which is where most of these insecurities stem from and those insecurities tend to motivate the behaviours which compound the issues and create a negative cycle (poor lifestyle, lack of self-care and grooming) not the other way around.

If you accept yourself as you are and don't identify with other people's judgement of you, then you are confident. Who you are fundamentally doesn't change, but there is a confident version of you and an insecure version of you, the confidence and insecurity are not who you are, they are conditions of who you are and confidence is a condition that can be cultivated by loving the inner child and accepting yourself.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-07-17T11:46:52+00:00

shit just recently (27) went from being no self esteem, to fake confident, then confident became myself

Title	Pick one: be yourself or be confident
Author	nbh1995
Upvotes	16
Comments	28
Date	July 16, 2022 10:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w0sl96/pick_one_be_yourself_or_be_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/pick-one-be-yourself-or-be-confident.1254312 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254312

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