PUAs; what did you do to develop your verbal skills?

gpua · 2011-05-17T20:35:06+00:00

I developed a lot of my social and verbal skills by always seeking entertainment. If you go into a conversation thinking the person might add to your enjoyment of life, your mouth will follow accordingly. In practice, this would be thinking "how can this interaction be more fun?" as opposed to "what do I say?" If you try to make it more fun for yourself and the people you're with, it opens a few more doors. Stay congruent to your personality, be confident, and search out the "fun."

bluehat9 · 2011-05-17T20:35:58+00:00

I'm no expert conversationalist, but I would think the answer to this is the same as learning to do anything. Get out there and practice. Fuck up a bunch and then think back about how you could have done better. Also, its a bit confusing what you see the issue as. You say you are a REALLY good talker, but then you say you have nothing to say.

Is it the initial approach that is the problem or is it continuing the conversation once it is started?

HumanSockPuppet · 2011-05-17T21:20:05+00:00

By asking yourself "what do I say?" you are volunteering yourself for the role of the entertainer. Then your problem is two-fold: you risk becoming the dancing monkey, and if the conversation flops then it will be much easier to rationalize it as a failure on your part.

Instead, you should keep in mind that it takes two people to have a conversation. Don't make it your responsibility to entertain the woman. Instead, ask yourself "what would make this interaction more fun for ME right now?" and then go with it. Is the conversation lulling on the topic of work? Change gears and bring up weekend activities. Is she running out of things to say and looking to you for cues? Comment on something in the moment, or just keep your mouth shut and give her a good, alpha stare with a smile: she'll know you're not bored, and she'll be wondering what you're thinking about that's making you give her such an enticing look. Words aren't the only way to convey interest during a conversation.

In short OP, have the conversation you want to have, and do it because you want to. As has been stated many times before in this subreddit, HOW you speak matters more than what you say. If you project confidence, investment, and interest in both her and the interaction, then you can say just about anything and she'll hang on your every word.

yokhai · 2011-05-17T21:36:19+00:00

Talking to people. It's something you do over and over and over again till you get comfortable bullshitting with anyone.

D3l7a3ch0 · 2011-05-17T21:28:45+00:00

i just speak whatever comes to mind, and it's either crazy, funny, interesting, intelligent, thought-provoking... bottom line is it stands out. and I don't hold back, or stop myself--it's more entertaining that way, timing is lightning fast, and it's fun for me too.

then again, I'm pretty good-looking and amazing all-around, so maybe it's that and it doesn't really matter what comes out of my mouth. bet I could start by reciting the ABC's to a girl and be doing something interesting by Q lol

you know that initial eye contact at the bar or club, where neither of you can look away? you gotta make some kind of nonverbal gesture like mouthing "hi" or waving a pinkie or SOMETHING. lets her know you can think in the face of pressure. what if she mimics you! you're in. you could like, put your hand over your heart and tilt your head and bat your eyes all dreamy-like. walk over there, tell her she's beautiful, MEAN it.

helps to have money and some nice fashion sense and be well-groomed.

when you're the one making the rules, why would you be worried about saying "the right thing"? it means you're in teh wrong mindset. if you've done the work on yourself, she'll be thanking her lucky stars that you're talking with her, and if she's smiling and going along she's already made up her mind more or less to go along with whatever experience you offer--AS LONG AS you keep doing what you're doing and lead. ("I want to kiss you.") it's never too soon to bring that up once you've broken the ice--any point after you've mutually decided "yes" is good...and that's happened in less than a second. the only thing that changes is a reason NOT to comes up. which is why time is working against you.

the only thing holding you back is you, and you know it. you're denying you AND her of a good time.

//now, I should mention that I'm into sweet girls. ^ but NATURALLY, girls with caked makeup and high heels and cocktail dresses seem to identify with me. I'm very suspicious of those types and as a result I'm very critical of their actions and body language... which... makes them even more... what's the word... infatuated, gravitated--they HOUND me cuz I tell them "no" and you should see how their faces light up with glee when I push back. sigh my life is so tough.

//it's dawned on me that I should use... what are they called... take aways? more. thanks for the prompt, the talkerr

TL;DR: I suggest working on yourself, and let them worry about what to say to you.

tres4 · 2011-05-17T22:51:41+00:00

Read "How to Meet and Connect with Women" by Wayne Elise (Juggler). It has helped me a million fold.

Daytime conversation is all about authenticity. Somebody who is authentically curious about another person isn't thinking "What should I say?", they are thinking "I want to know what this person does for a living" or "I want to know what this person's hobbies are" and simply asks them.

Another note: Remember that a mediocre interaction does not equal a bad interaction. In fact, a string of mediocre interactions can generate attraction in itself (Psychology 101). So even if you didn't knock her socks off the first time you met, the next time you see her, greet her like you've known her for years and she'll greet you back likewise.

Dresden718 · 2011-05-18T01:36:34+00:00

Verbal Advantage, cant recommend that enough. Aside from that, keep reading. You need to build a base from which you can HAVE topics of conversation. Howstuffworks.com . Discovery Channel. History Channel. Science Network. Philosophy & Psychology books. ( granted I did this when I in college - when I had more free time ) Once that is complete and you actually have something intelligent to say, you can talk about anything with anyone. Your subconscious will feel its no longer threatened by looking like an idiot and will put you into more situations where you can express yourself.

Title	PUAs; what did you do to develop your verbal skills?
Author	TheTalkerr
Upvotes	12
Comments	28
Date	May 17, 2011 8:10 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hdmp9/puas_what_did_you_do_to_develop_your_verbal_skills/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/puas-what-did-you-do-to-develop-your-verbal-skills.1318349 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318349

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