Seduction As a Reserved Person

dazhealy2 · 2016-08-13T10:51:30+00:00

I'm in a very similar situation, and I'm far from an expert here, so I won't offer much in the way of advice.

What I will say is you need to ask that girl out, or else find other girls. Your post reeks of "oneitis", and if I was to guess I'd say your post was prompted by something you saw between your co-workers recently. You're jealous and looking for someone to tell you what to do. If you browse here at all, you already know what you have to do. Either grab the opportunity with your co-worker, or find other women. Don't get caught up on one person.

As I mentioned I'm quite reserved as well, especially around new people and in busy environments. The more people I have to deal with, the less confident I feel. I'm confident in one on one situations, or when I've already established a position in a group. But I also realised that I wasted months of the last year pining after one girl. Even months after being rejected by her, I wasn't looking for anyone else because I'd already found the exact girl I was looking for. It was a sobering thought, and I wouldn't want you to have to go through the same thing. I hope someone can give you some better advice, but that's just my opinion from reading this.

flowfall · 2016-08-13T11:09:18+00:00

Deep conversations are nowhere nearly as important as your vibe/mental state/energy. Your inspiring coworker has a playful/somewhat sexual feel about him which draws people because it's fun.

Deep conversations tend to be more serious, AKA opposite of fun.

You have to learn how to balance the 2.

It doesn't matter if your coworker seems to be giving you IOIs or whatever, you're some quiet dude who doesn't make a move and seems to be trying to be her friend by getting to know her and not making your actual intentions clear. To her it probably seems like you're not interested or not interested enough to try.

Thing is, when you withhold your sexual side/intentions, you're being dishonest.

There is a way to respectably and considerately be your complete sexual self.

You're not reserved, you're scared, you haven't gotten in touch with your masculine energy. You don't even have to be playful like that other guy, you can just freely look at her in the eyes with your sexual intent/ desire, slight smile, slowed down/lower voice, and some light teasing.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. You can't make girls attracted to you. You can't. Either they are or their not, just how you're either attracted to a girl or not. So the best thing you can do is test the reality of their attraction by making a move and seeing how they respond. This way you don't waste time and mental energy on someone who you imagine might be attracted but in reality you don't really know.

If I were you, ask her to hangout sometime, with that intense eye contact and slow voice oozing with what you're trying to communicate, that you want her. Strive to polarize/ flip the switch as quickly as possible, you want people to be yes or nos, not in between. Value your time and effort, respect yourself, don't be ashamed or hide your true desires, it's okay.

So in the future, don't try to get to know them first. That's not how you build up the latent attraction, it more often starts to kill it if it's all you do. Don't waste your time and emotion on a maybe. Verify her interest by seeing her reactions to your advances.

PM me if you have any more questions.

Murfdigidy · 2016-08-13T13:35:35+00:00

I always say for people more reserved look on YouTube and search for gambler pua, or Richard Laguina. He seems more of an introvert person, he's just very calm he's not outgoing like some if these alpha dominant PUAs like Tyler D.

I highly recommend using PUAs that fit your style, there is more than one way to skin a cat the same goes for seduction not everybody has the same game so use the style that fits you the best. The gambler is smooth as fuck, he's not loud, he's not over the top, he's just smooth.

Ultimately what he is able to do is to still project great confidence, without being over the top. His stuff is great, and essentially his greatest technique is he's able to just project sexual confidence without being gimmicky. He cuts to the chase of getting girls sexually attracted.

Im not an introvert but ultimately an extroverted alpha still needs to slow things down and get sexual at the end if the night, IMO the gambler skips to those steps. Even for you extroverts you can learn from him

pacg · 2016-08-13T15:51:58+00:00

Eye contact speaks volumes. Grab and hold her gaze for a moment longer. She'll turn away and smile.

Physical contact is vital. If you're leading her through a crowded restaurant, take her hand. When it's time to take her seat place your hand on the small of her back, or on her shoulder blade if that's too much, and give her a little nudge.

These are your IOIs.

Clyde_Frag · 2016-08-14T00:58:04+00:00

I'm more reserved as well and I've learned that it's all about escalation. When you're less flamboyant and don't wear your emotions on your sleeve, it becomes much more important to make sure that your intentions are clear.

You don't have to be the life of the party to get girls. But you do still need to approach, make people comfortable around you, and escalate.

I haven't read it but I think you could be helped by reading Models.

SuckingOffMyDad · 2016-08-13T12:11:48+00:00

You're completely confusing things.

Just because you had a deep conversation with your crush or she asks you questions it doesn't mean that she's interested in you. What you call a "little IOIs" sounds more like wishful thinking. Also, If a girl allows a guy to play around with her, touch her, lift her, then that's because she's either attracted to him or extremely comfortable around him. This has nothing to do with being fun or high energy because even a stoic person could do something like this provided that the girl was either attracted to him or comfortable enough with him that she'd let him jokingly touch her.

Based on this post and your post history you seem like a weak, unmanly, passive, socially inept and neurotic person who lacks clarity and insight about human social dynamics and male-female social dynamics.

Here are my recommendations if you want a good life:

Stop obsessing over specific girls.
Stop comparing yourelf to other guys.
Read a lot of articles about social skills and dating every week. They contain a lot of bullcrap but eventually it all adds up to valuable knowledge.
Find yourself and your true identity instead of looking at other guys and wishing that you were them. Realize who you are and work on becoming the best you you can be.
Try to get more female friends to make you understand women and become comfortable around women.

Last but not least, no matter if you're young or old, your problems are completely fixable. Everyone has problems and flaws, and everyone needs to work on themselves. You're not a loser, but you need to be willing to put in the work and build yourself up if you're ever going to be successful.

Title	Seduction As a Reserved Person
Author	3hreeringz
Upvotes	27
Comments	10
Date	August 13, 2016 3:28 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4xhf1l/seduction_as_a_reserved_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seduction-as-a-reserved-person.1410850 https://theredarchive.com/post/1410850

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