Setting the standard for Oral

Silly_Randy · 2024-07-07T22:18:11+00:00

My ex was kinda like that. I left her ass. I could feel resentment building up.

There are women out there that are awesome and touchy. Go find them.

appolonysian · 2024-07-08T02:16:05+00:00

Gonna give you some tough medicine here. Women (and men) can get real lax once they feel they don’t have any competition or reason to continue pleasing their partner.

Women reflect your energy, but not in the way you might think. Basically, if you remain that badass dude she viewed you as when you first started dating, this whole issue shouldn’t exist.

Low libido libido people do exist, but they don’t go around fucking and changing shit up once they get a relationship.

Two options to fix this:

1) leave her; it sucks to hear but the longer she gets off on the knowledge that she’s got your balls like that, the harder it is to turn the ship around.

2) stop wanting it; don’t ask, don’t initiate sex much, generally play the long game. Be busy with other things but don’t appear resentful about it. Phase the indifference in.

If she viewed you as the prize to begin with, the suspicion that you’re slipping away will change this. Don’t negotiate - no amount of “civility” or seriousness will change the fact that under it all, you’re begging to get your dick sucked. She’ll get off on that.

Dragon201345 · 2024-07-08T00:29:26+00:00

First get rid of the idea that women’s sex drives are high and low. Women have a reactive sex drive that reflects how attracted they are to you. She appears low sex drive because you don’t spark attraction in her. This could be due to multiple things but the basics are looks(style fitness hygiene)and game(flirting and getting an emotional rise out of her). Reexaime how you act in your relationship and how you’re taking care of yourself. You’ll be able to figure out where you’re lacking.

Second, stop doing oral you obviously have a covert contract that if you give oral you expect to receive it as well. If you can’t give without excepting something in return don’t give it. Instead you could just ask directly for what you want and if you got game make it a dirty talk thing.

Finally you could do all of this and she still won’t be enthusiastic about slobbing on your noodle. She could genuinely hate giving head and at that point you may want to ask is asking for head every time you want it that big of a deal? It could be and if it is you need to find a girl that doesn’t hate giving head.

No-Preference8767 · 2024-07-07T19:55:46+00:00

I would bring up enthusiasm and see what the issue is around it. Maybe she just doesn't like giving head because it hurts her mouth , maybe she's lazy, maybe she has bad breath and gets self conscious or aybe she doesn't like to make much noise when giving head

Also I would set the standard at something fair for both of you . If you like eating her pussy almost no matter what and she asks you to do it, you probably should do it even if it's imbalanced. If you're more moody the standard should be we can BOTH can do it when we're in the mood . If it's a needed weekly thing, make it weekly for BOTH of you.

If she hates sucking dick but is willing to do all the dishes maybe you make that compromise.

Basically you can ask for a performance and you can ask for higher frequency but you can't ask for genuine enthusiasm. To answer your question directly I would get over it and continue to ask

brandonmadeit · 2024-07-08T00:22:34+00:00

I HATE asking for head, if it’s something consistent where she doesn’t do it without asking then we’re just not compatible. I also tell girls early on that fellacio is a must and if that’s not something she likes I move on. You’re kind of late in the game already 9mo in, so she’s comfortable with the current setup. You can verbalize that you’d like it more or without having to ask but the likelihood of things changing is low. Always set the standard up front.

VrilHunter · 2024-07-08T12:06:13+00:00

Simple. She's not as attracted to you as you're to her. That's why you can't stop pleasing her even with her less than equal effort. And she doesn't have the sex drive WITH YOU, because you've been taken for granted. Women will do anything for the man they really really really want. Just like you're doing for her.

Is it her fault? No. It's yours because you didn't set your expectations from the beginning and you dont seduce her or evoke her emotions for you anymore.

Get it in your head - you DON'T turn her on.

Unfortunately, you cannot make her want you more. You probably did in the beginning of your dating, but not anymore.

SOLUTION - so, what the fuck can you do now?

Leave her and find a new girl who is actually attracted to you more than you're to her (seduce her better). Most healthy relationships last for a long time only that way.

P. S. - Some girls actually dont like giving head no matter what. So, dont start a relationship with them in the first place if getting head is your main goal.

Thus, the solution to your problem remains the same.

VrilHunter · 2024-07-08T12:15:03+00:00

Women control the doorway to sex and men control the doorway to relationships. And unfortunately, you messed up.

You realize most of your problems come from you not sticking to your standards and lowering them for quick happiness, which eventually doesn't bring you the real happiness any more.

mister_k1 · 2024-07-08T13:21:28+00:00

seeing how simpy this post is...no wonder she lacks enthusiasm...try opening your eyes to female nature or your next post will be "i was giving her head everyday and she still left me"

Lenovo_Driver · 2024-07-07T20:25:09+00:00

Wash your dick

Still-Horror1199 · 2024-07-07T22:59:29+00:00

Just because you like giving oral doesn’t mean she does . In your third paragraph when you say she doesn’t return the favor or that you have to ask,sounds like you think because you did he should too and like it, but just like you is a person who likes and doesn’t like certain things. If she does it when you ask you should be grateful she’s doing it since it seems from what you described she might not like it

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-07-07T20:07:08+00:00

Setting the standard for Oral

TLDR: My GF doesn’t give me head as often as I give her and when she does it’s because I ask her too, Is there a way to communicate I’d appreciate receiving a little more often without asking?

Stop giving her orgasms and sex . When asked why Answer “I don’t feel satisfied in the bedroom”

That is the round about way .

The normally functional human way is just tell her how you feel. Communicate

Edit: after reading the whole thing. Just let it go. You ain’t fixing that for more than a week.

Or is this something trivial that I should get over.

Is that something important to you. If yes Than replace her . If No - than get over it.

I’m a big proponent of finding people who fit your standards. (Mostly because I grew up around women).

Anywho I prefer the whole story I might uncover something important.

3 months, been dating for 9)

This confuses me.

Edit: realised you mean fucking for 9

or the fact that she has a low sex drive in general,

Ok. You don’t turn her on.

I have a low sex drive when I’m talking to 4s. When I’m with a woman that is a 8+ I don’t have that problem.

Before we became official it seemed as if she was offering it (although not too often) more than since we’ve been official.

Sadly you will as life goes on that society is designed around not making women wet.

You killed a tension. Which by the sound of it was about all you had.

Am I being selfish in this whole thing?

Well yes. Anything that is purely for you is selfish.

My love language is definitely physical touch and intimacy and I have a much higher sex drive than her.

Yea cuz she is hotter.

Also that all love language bullshit don’t talk about it in front of adults - they’d think you are stupid.

She’s already communicated to me her love language is spending time together and physical touch but moreso in the hand holding and cuddling type of way.

Hahahhahahhahahhah.

Ok let’s translate that sentence:

spending time together

“I like spending time with you” - so far so good

physical touch

I also like fucking - great.

but moreso in the hand holding and cuddling type of way.

“But with you I prefer holding hand and cuddling”

And there she told you. You don’t turn her on. Enjoy.

This is exactly why reading the whole thing is important.

People miss exact moments other people tell them stuff.

I love and appreciate her so much I just feel i’d really appreciate getting some oral love without asking a little more often.

This ain’t changing. I will go and edit my answer.

Remarkable-Past-6465 · 2024-07-07T23:30:31+00:00

Due to my nose. I’ve only fucked one female my entire life ar the old age of 20. Sex is off the charts. Can’t wait to get rhino and fix my shitty nose

ExtraordinaryBeetles · 2024-07-08T14:02:56+00:00

All women have their flaws.

Wyerie · 2024-07-08T23:12:22+00:00

Coincidently, I solved this problem last week with my long-term GF. She doesn’t like giving blowjobs, and her technique is terrible. I know ‘talking about it’ is what people usually say, but instead I imagined how I’d go about getting what I wanted if she was a new sexual partner. So, over the course of a day I kept conversation light, was good company, flirting, stolen glances, eye contact, ‘accidental’ touching etc., just the kind of thing you’d do to get a stranger into bed. Once I’d got my GF into bed (which obviously wasn’t difficult, because she’s my GF), she was much more revved up than usual, and after all the deliberately contrived build up she gave me an amazing blowjob. No problems with her technique at all. I know this a 9 month relationship, not 9 years, but the same principles apply. You've got to keep seducing her, keep her in the 'honeymoon' period. If you flake out after you're in the hand holding and cuddling phase, you'll never be able to maintain a long-term relationship.

Fast-Increase5344 · 2024-07-08T10:04:26+00:00

Lol "COVERT CONTRACT" get the FUCk out you fucking incels. It's called reciprocation! It's called 69 for a reason you fucktards. I was with a bitch who didn't reciprocate and it made me resent her bc it was an obvious chore for her. So I cheated on her with my now gf of five years who gives me head EVERY DAY. Drop her ass and find someone with same sexual appetites

Title	Setting the standard for Oral
Author	99pints
Upvotes	15
Comments	31
Date	July 7, 2024 7:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dxorei/setting_the_standard_for_oral/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/setting-the-standard-for-oral.1523560 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523560

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