There are two types of happiness - stimulation and fulfilment.

Stimulation describes the temporary highs you get from sex, drugs and alcohol, as well as engaging in hobbies or media consumption. Fulfilment is the long-term satisfaction you have with being yourself.

I got into pick-up artistry thinking it would provide both types of happiness.

Yes, more sex is something we all want from practicing this art. But I thought sleeping with 9s and 10s would also make me feel better about myself. I'm sure I'm not the only one...

That's not how it works though...

Pick-up artistry brought me lots of adventures. It made my life way more fun. It brought a lot more stimulation. It improved my social skills and taught me more about masculinity. It led me to better friends. It even helped me develop the bravery to travel the world solo.

It was these things that brought the fulfilment. Then, the 9s and 10s started dropping their panties. A lot of people think the fitties precede the fulfilment, but it's the other way around.

Don't make the mistake of thinking your self-image will skyrocket the second you stick your dick in a model-looking chick.

Here's how I learned this...

I still remember how I felt after sleeping with my first '10' in Bali, then another woman the next day. This achievement was supposed to be the key to permanently feeling amazing. It wasn't. Other than feeling a bit disappointed they were gone (both tourists heading back to their own country), I felt exactly the same. Luckily, by this point, 'exactly the same' was a pleasant hum of self-esteem.)

The point is: you'll never find fulfilment in the external, whether it's money, status or women. You just end up wanting more...

Sex with a great girl is like eating a great meal. You really want it if you're starving and it's really stimulating at the time. Yet, after you're done, you'll soon be back at your baseline mood. This really hit home when I found myself feeing horny within an hour of the second woman leaving.

Making a '10' your girlfriend won't complete you either.

As Eckart Tolle says: "If you cannot be at ease with yourself when you are alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease. You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship."

Then, once the relationship ends, you go back to being the same little bitch. The only relationship that will fulfil you is the one you have with YOURSELF.

This is good news

This knowledge should be freeing, not depressing.

It should allow you to only want the '10' for the stimulation of the sex, love and affection.

Whether you get her or not ultimately has no bearing on your self-esteem.

It's only the process of chasing her that helps bring fulfilment, as well as other things like friendships, health, hobbies and passions.

Once you realise this, 'approach anxiety' and 'oneitis' may seem kind of silly.

See for yourself

I still believe this game we play is one of the best ways to achieve fulfilment. But I now realise it's the lessons we learn from playing that fulfils us, not the fruits from winning.

Maybe you have to get your first lay or your first 10 before you truly believe this message. I'd heard it from RSD instructors in the past, but only understood what they meant after the that crazy weekend in Bali.

I've co-launched a Telegram group for men who want to became amazing with women. Hundreds of guys sharing their success stories and getting advice on their sticking points. A real brotherhood. If you'd like to join, drop me a PM with your Telegram handle.