Should I go direct or indirect?

Lambdal7 · 2017-12-11T14:38:37+00:00

You can't really go direct within social circles or hobby groups (e.g. yoga groups), as you will be ostrachized pretty quickly as the guy who hits on every girl, so you go indirect, build rapport, banter, make her chase you.

brianbria · 2017-12-11T07:23:47+00:00

Direct works for me and aligns with my values.

Indirect makes me cringe and doesn't work for me.

I pick direct.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-12-11T07:33:03+00:00

Direct is often defined as coming out and SAYING things directly. This isn't really direct. Well, it is, but it's also tone-deaf. Direct can just as easily be in actions. Which is why we have sayings like, "Actions speak louder than words."

Indirect: is often defined as anything where you're not immediately telling the girl that you want to bang her or that you find her attractive. Again, this is not a question of direct or indirect. It's about tone-deaf or not.

Here is the real divide:

Direct (and savvy): You start off the interaction in ways that clearly SHOW your intentions or interest. Eye contact, confident tone of voice, all that can come into play. Direct is talking about whatever you might observe in the moment. Directly saying that you enjoyed interacting with her and would like to see her again, could fall under this, however, but it has to be earned, by the interaction that came before so it has authenticity behind it.
Indirect: All manner of tricks that involve you trying to get the girl to initiate things. Getting her to open. Getting her to escalate. And so on. Indirect is not taking actions, it's trying to get her to take actions. It's manipulative, basically.

Again, doing things like stating that you find her attractive, is not about Direct vs. Indirect. It's just tone deaf.

purplestuff11 · 2017-12-11T08:03:13+00:00

Direct all the way. You make progress quicker and come off as genuine. It shows you're confident in yourself which helps if you aren't great in the looks department like myself. I've tried the indirect and it feels like I'm tricking someone into liking me which makes being real harder and if she isn't into the real me, just makes me waste more time before getting to the rejection. So that's why I'd advise being direct always unless you're trying to deceive someone you hate or something.

scrader · 2017-12-11T15:26:47+00:00

With direct, it's kind of pure numbers game and not 'skill' as such. She needs to find you hot for it to work.

Going direct can get lots of people results, but I don't really consider it 'game' as such.

essexaspie · 2017-12-11T15:40:39+00:00

From what I've read over the years, one should really only go 'direct' if you don't have time to 'seduce' her. (a quick approach on a girl on her way to work or whatever). An ugly guy going direct will always get told ''I have a boyfriend''. But if he can open her, not scare her off by making his intent too clear, have fun, intrigue her etc etc (basically 'game') then he can still get her, in theory

danielinthebox · 2017-12-13T17:16:59+00:00

If your intent is good I.e through subcommhnications/vibe than indirect is fine

Turkpowered · 2017-12-11T08:24:13+00:00

Can someone explain the part where he asked if direct depends more on looks?

I kind of feel like he has a point. Im a guy who is average, but definitely not more than that. I tend to get closer with girls when they get to know me a little. I believe I am very respectful and have other qualities that girls like that they can figure out if they get to know me a little, which helps balance out the fact that I'm not above average.

stevenmarkryan · 2017-12-12T01:11:19+00:00

If you approach a woman, she knows you are interested in her. They're smart, they pick up on this. Guys are idiots and we do not.
Stay direct and get to the point. It shows confidence, purpose and direction.

Stringdaddy27 · 2017-12-11T13:48:44+00:00

I dislike indirect. I find myself often times spending like 5 minutes talking to a girl and then she has a bf. Whereas with direct, if she has a bf, she lets me know immediately.

I've also got a no bullshit type personality, I don't like to beat around the bush.

Direct all day every day.

Title	Should I go direct or indirect?
Author	ArielR12
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	December 11, 2017 7:02 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7j0lqs/should_i_go_direct_or_indirect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-go-direct-or-indirect.1438290 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438290

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