(1) I have no issue talking to girls and I'm not even nervous around them. The anxiety only comes depending on the stakes and what we're talking about. I can't sexualize for shit. For example, I spoke to a literal 9/10 at the bus station asking about the buses and for directions. I was chill af and had no nervousness or shaking or higher pitch. I literally just wanted directions and appreciated the sight while I was at it. Today when speaking to the receptionist, same thing. I even initiated a convo with a chick who was our coordinator and had a pretty long convo with her. The issue is cold approach and sexualizing things. That's when my ego is on the line and that's when I become anxious af despite not wanting to be outcome dependent.

(2) I literally am oozing with confidence. I have that confident walk, back straight, good eye contact and I'm assertive when I need to uphold my boundaries. I can speak up when I need to do for myself. And yet, as if a glitch in my mental matrix, I can't approach for shit. The rare times I have, I shake and my voice gets hoarse. Something that only happens when I'm in fight or flight mode.

(3) The longer I don't approach, the more of a dread it becomes. As an average looking guy, no girl is going to actively approach besides throwing out a rare IOI here or there. So since I graduated HS, it's been five years since I chick approached me. A rare few times, some chicks started convos throughout thee 5 years, but because I couldn't sexualize, they went nowhere. I've had some average looking girls that knew my chilled out personality have crushes on me and even ask me out before back in HS, but because I was scared of taking risks and would rationalize why "I wasn't feeling a relationship", I missed out on experiences that I could look back on and say "at least someone was able to vibe with me on a sexual level".