I would call this a short cut to inner game if it weren't so difficult to implement. If you're looking for short cuts, fuck you anyway, because this is no place for half measures.
I always see advice along the lines of "fake it till you make it" that while valid, i think skirts the issue of having no inner game. An alternative or supplement to this is what i am proposing.
Answer me this, how do you see yourself? Do you think you are a loser? Honestly, do you see yourself as cool? Put in a better way, do you see yourself as someone worthy of respect? Admiration? It is one thing to tell someone to walk into the room as though he owns it, it is another thing for that person to believe it.
Inner game cannot be a mask you put on when you need it- it doesn't work that way. The moments in our lives when we are most confident are those times when everything is going smoothly- why? Because you know that success with this random girl or not- you are feeling good about yourself and nothing will change that. In essence- you have a safety net. Having multiple prospects serves a similar purpose.
When your state and confidence does not depend on a successful pick up, you feel freest to approach because the stakes are not high. I am aware this not particularly new or insightful.
The question is, how does one change the way he sees himself? Every single say, there are things we do, i do, you do, that causes us to lose a little respect in ourselves. Some of them can be minor, like succumbing to another scoop of ice cream or being afraid to interrupt a friend whose story has gone on too long when you're in a hurry, some can be major, like chickening out on that backpacking trip or putting up with a job where you get no respect out of fear of the unknown or approaching a girl you like.
It doesn't matter what it is or how big it is, but when it happens, you're brain acknowledges it. You have chosen the cowardly choice, and you loathe yourself for it. You are aware you have diminished yourself- and your self esteem weeps.
"Never lose your self-respect, nor be too familiar with yourself when you are alone. Let your integrity itself be your own standard of rectitude, and be more indebted to the severity of your own judgment of yourself than to all external percepts. Desist from unseemly conduct, rather out of respect for your own virtue than for the strictures of external authority."
Baltasar Gracian (1601 - 1658)
Hold yourself to a higher standard. I mean your own standard. And you know what your standard is- you know the shit you do that makes you feel small and shitty inside. Cut it out. Even if no one notices, cut that shit out of your life. Start small, deadlines, room cleaning, overdue books- whatever. Move gradually onwards- your guide will only be what makes you feel small- let nothing be safe.
I feel practicing inner game only when meeting girls is like holding in your stomach when you pass by a mirror. If you want inner game, it is yourself you have to win over and that takes discipline.
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