~ archived since 2018 ~

Something to remember when family or friends hate on you for learning seduction

Ben_KickassAcademy · 2013-03-29T18:21:36+00:00

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. — Arthur...

Ben_KickassAcademy

March 29, 2013

39 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Something to remember when family or friends hate on you for learning seduction
Author	Ben_KickassAcademy
Upvotes	39
Comments	35
Date	March 29, 2013 6:21 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1b97sf/something_to_remember_when_family_or_friends_hate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/something-to-remember-when-family-or-friends-hate.1349714 https://theredarchive.com/post/1349714

Comments

[–]ArcherTA50 points 13 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ben_KickassAcademy[S] 11 points12 points13 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Danger_Tits 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ben_KickassAcademy[S] 9 points10 points11 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]InfiniteBlink 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]annoyedatwork 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Danger_Tits -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]solidslash 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Only1nDreams13 points 13 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ben_KickassAcademy[S] 10 points11 points12 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CaptainCarlson 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]guitarislife1392 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrinceAsneeze5 points 13 years ago [recovered] (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]YungPinecone 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrinceAsneeze12 points 13 years ago* [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

Basically just being more alpha. What this means is, I hold more eye contact (triangular gazing), hold my head up high, smile way more often, I groom myself better, and I state my fucking opinion, regardless of what others think of me, hell, I don't even care what they think. Be awesome, be yourself, and this will make you happy, helping with the "smiling way more often" that I mentioned earlier. If I ask somebody out, whether it be a guy friend or a girl I'm interested in, I set the time and place, and if I'm there early I don't sit around starting at my phone, I make sure by the time they come in they see me socializing and being awesome - DHV and social status. Which brings me to another point, be way more social. Approach everyone, regardless if you know them well or not and throwing the pitiful social status bullshit they give you in high school out the window. This is all basic shit you read on Seddit - I've applied it into my life now and people have started to take notice. I'm no longer clingy or make stupid jokes, I appreciate silence and I fucking own it. Trust me bro, what Seddit has can be applied anywhere and everywhere, so don't let anything get you down. By the way, if you get any shit for being the new alpha you, don't let it get to you. You are awesome, and reflect that in your answer (you can always ignore, too). And be sure to recognize any and all shit tests, I've spotted them more and more often and am usually able to diffuse them, but I'm still learning. That attitude, too, always know that you have more to learn. Start reading body language (folded arms are uninviting/show insecurity, feet pointed at you show interest, etc.) I mentioned earlier about grooming myself better, this not only applies to clothes but to shaving, working out, etc. Your physical appearance is your avatar in this world, and how you look to others influence how they view your entire character. Experiment with looks, find something that suits you and I recommend subbing to /r/malefashionadvice for tips. Almost forgot to mention, but this includes how you smell...I know from my friends (and I hope this is obvious to everyone) that women go crazy over guys who smell good, and this goes for guys with girls, too. I also always carry gum/mints on me, because you never know when you'll get into close encounters and you don't wanna screw things up with your bad breath. And finally, I'd like to say that I only listen to music that pumps me up, nothing depressing, nothing that can otherwise ruin my heightened state of mind. Good music leads to good vibes. If I'm ever down, I meditate and empty my mind of everything, then start thinking of shit that makes me happy and put myself into state. HIMYM quote: "When I'm sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome instead" - Barney Stinson AKA Neil Patrick Harris. Hope this helps, bro!

EDIT: Just thought I'd add, during conversation, don't let it end unless it comes to its natural end. Meaning, don't end things prematurely, pussy out, etc. Be persistent and likable. Don't force conversation, things will come naturally sooner or later, but I cannot stress that IT WILL NOT COME WITHOUT EFFORT ON YOUR PART. Go out there and approach people, for goodness' sake. Don't think about rejection. Go into sets thinking "I'm going to have some fun, this is purely for my entertainment," etc. If you're having trouble, use the three second rule, and go approach someone within your first three seconds of looking at them/wanting to go after them. You'll see a drastic increase in your social skills if you apply these, and I can guarantee you'll feel better with yourself. Inner game is probably the most important part when it comes to being a sociable and awesome person. If you've read some of TofuTofu's stuff on here, he recommends reading /r/rsd for getting into state and such, I agree 100%, /r/seddit and /r/rsd have to be the most valuable subreddits for me as far as improving my game goes.

[–]YungPinecone 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

First off, holy shit thanks that was way more than I would've hoped for. Next, let me address a few things that are most helpful and things that I would like to know more information on

Eye contact Not sure what triangular gazing is, but looking into peoples' eyes as I passed them is one of the first things that I have tried to do and I'm happy to say I'm getting better at it, the only time it doesn't go well seems to be when I over think it.
My opinion Something I really need to work on. The more I think about it the more I realize that if I disagree with someone I'm usually all AFC, the only voice disagreeing with them is the one in my head. So instead, I'm going to state my opinion and be confident with it. And you're right, I really don't care what they think anyways.
Smiling way more often Well, to be fun and outgoing I should probably be having fun or at least look like it. Not something you hear very often, so I'll make sure I remember it. > I don't sit around staring at my phone
Guilty, DHV is so valuable I should take any chance I get to do some
Approach everyone Please elaborate a little on this one, I get the fact that I should be sociable with anyone and everyone including people I don't much interest in, but it isn't just trying to talk to anyone who is available to talk with, right? > throwing the pitiful social status bullshit they give you in high school out the window.
Fuck yes. > I appreciate silence and I fucking own it.
I think I understand, but an example would help. > By the way, if you get any shit for being the new alpha you, don't let it get to you.
Damn straight, I mean why would I > And be sure to recognize any and all shit tests, I've spotted them more and more often and am usually able to diffuse them, but I'm still learning.
I'm not sure how I haven't started to realize these, but I do have that want to learn and I know I have lots more to learn.
Body Language This will obviously help my game a lot, I think I'll learn some basic stuff and then learn advanced things in the future.
Physical appearance I do plenty, but I could definitely do more since you mention it.
How I smell Mall tomorrow to get some cologne, might check mfa for specifics
Good vibes Before my match a while ago I was looking for music to get me pumped for the game (rugby) realized there was nothing that great on my entire phone, I will have to fix that.
Effort on my part I have made a mental change into putting more effort into being a better me.
purely for my entertainment, three second rule All that I need to think about when approaching.
Inner Game I haven't worked on this nearly enough, but as I said, I have a will to learn.

I guess I didn't realize until typing out a not very well formatted reply that this wasn't just a long answer, it was chock full of magnificent advice that I can really use. Looking at all this I realize it's a huge amount so I don't mind at all if you ignore the non-italics. I have to thank you again bro, because this is beyond helpful. Lastly I am awesome and there is lots of self-reflection in my answer.

[–]PrinceAsneeze4 points 13 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

Glad I could help man! Remember if all this shit is too much to take in at a time, there's no shame in taking baby steps. Go at a pace that suits you, this isn't an overnight thing. You'll accomplish way more in moderation than if you rush in and try to tackle everything at once, but this is what worked for me and you might have a different way of adapting to things.

Triangular Gazing is when you shift your focus between one eye of a girl, to her other eye, to her mouth, and then back to her first eye, etc. In short, you're making a "triangle" as you look between these three pivot points. Combine that with appearing genuine and interested when you talk to a girl, and you'll be golden. Also, for the body language - do shit with your hands and arms, don't let them dangle by your side doing nothing. Move them, touch her, kino, all of that. And take up space! e.g. Instead of putting your book bag/books and folders on the floor, put it on another chair. Good posture, too, when you walking, standing, or sitting. Not only does it look good, but you build muscle in your body.

I think I understand, but an example would help.

People will recognize this new you. They'll see your change in behavior, and at first, you'll get things like "What's wrong," or "Why are you acting different," "You're not being yourself," FUCK that noise, if you want my advice, either say "I'm working on how I relate with others," or something to that effect, OR take it as a shit test and respond appropriately, e.g. with sarcasm, witty comment, ignore it, etc. If people try and drag you down for trying something new, DO NOT let them succeed, people have a natural tendency to reject change and say no to new things (I've studied a lot about psychology and how the brain reacts to certain things, I recommend this as it helps improve your social dynamics). Really though, any negative comment I now take as a shit test, from guys or girls. Also, assume attraction with females, it'll boost your confidence. Don't be like, "Huh, she said she liked my shirt, it could be flirting but on the other hand she could just be nice." No. From now on, take on the knowledge that people won't acknowledge you or compliment you unless they're interested.

As far as personality goes and how to treat people, read this post that was on the front page of /r/rsd : http://www.reddit.com/r/rsd/comments/1b73kr/working_on_pickup_vs_working_on_personality/

I get the fact that I should be sociable with anyone and everyone including people I don't much interest it, but it isn't just trying to talk to everyone who is available to talk with, right?

Actually, that's the majority of the concept. Go and talk to people you normally don't think you would've gotten along with/talked to in the first place, and be likable. If you see someone you know in a public place, approach and say "Hey, what's up!" Otherwise you're dooming yourself socially. Don't ever say "no" to yourself when trying to approach people, and don't be afraid of rejection. Rejection is one of the greatest things that can happen to you, because 1. You've done it! You've done the impossible and made your approach, that's 2 steps forward and 1 step back in my book, and 2. You learn from all experiences, look back at why you got rejected and see what you can do to improve. This mindset, thinking positively and willing to improve and change your game is what you need, NOT making excuses, failing to act, etc. As far as social status goes, fuck it. Just because someone may seem like they're higher on the high school status tree doesn't mean they really are, and you're not above anyone, either. Talk to everyone. Everyone is a person, with needs and wants. But if someone is being a straight up asshole, don't befriend that person. You'll realize where your friends are and where the bitches are, just remember just because someone gives you a hard time once or twice doesn't mean they're your enemy, only if they're constantly bringing you down. And don't settle for boring people. Final bit of advice, everyone is a human being. Yes, guys and girls are different, but we're all human, so social interaction overlaps on the larger scale.

Something I should have mentioned in my previous comment, regarding physical appearance. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY! I mentioned working out, and I mean it, go to the gym and get in shape! But more importantly, EAT HEALTHIER. Take notice in what you consume as an individual, go lighter on the sugar, oils, fats, etc. and eat MORE carbs, proteins, vitamins, minerals, and so on. For instance, I used to eat a pop-tart every day for breakfast. Not anymore. Now, I force myself to wake up earlier and make myself eggs, which tackles to things: I have a regular sleeping cycle (rest is important! Don't underestimate it, which I know can be difficult in high school) allowing me to have more energy and helps me wake up in the mornings, and I eat a better and more fulfilling breakfast (side note: NEVER skip breakfast, let alone any meal). If you can't always go to bed early on some nights, it's ok to sometimes stay up an hour or two later and make it up the next day during the day, like taking a power nap after school. However, I only recommend doing this if you have to. Drink more water! I drink about 2-3 water bottles daily, not only is water the healthiest and the BEST thing you can drink, but it helps with feeling 1000000x better. Try it out, you'll be surprised. Pro tip: Drink constantly. If you wait until you're thirsty to drink something, you're already dehydrated. Furthermore, as far as the eating goes, I try and eat five small meals per day instead of three large meals, look on any body/health website and they'll say how this has its advantages. BEWARE CHEESE! One of my trainers told me cheese can be detrimental to building a better body, just be aware of what you eat. Not saying give up on cheese completely, just try to cut down on it. If a food has more negatives than positives as far as nutrients go, I try to avoid it. Of course, there are times when you can have a piece of cake or candy or whatever, just don't make them a regular part of your diet.

If there's anything else I can help with, don't hesitate to ask! This discussion has become a learning experience for me as well

[–]Azzmo 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]YungPinecone 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit this is even more killer advice, you sir truly are awesome. I'll take some time and put this in a word document so I can have it readily available. Same as before I'll list the extremely helpful stuff

Triangular Gaze great tip, duly noted.
Body Language and Posture I like to just be a little goofy with my hands and arms and find as long as I'm having fun with it everything works well. As far as posture goes, I had an epiphany a while back when I was how unattractive it is to be hunched over so that's tons better.

FUCK that noise
I'm just adjusting how I act towards people. Or I could agree and amplify, "Yeah I'm really getting worried about myself, I'm almost positive I have little aliens in my head, unless you hear those voices too?"
Talk to everyone Yeah I was debating on even asking the question in my last post, I thought that couldn't be all there is to it, but that has to be all there is to it. And as you said that basically is all there is to it.
Don't ever say no If I had a nickel for every time I was too much of a pussy to go say hi. The three second rule is so amazing for this because it gets you quickly and effectively over the hardest part. I just have to grow a pair and approach, which goes neatly into rejection. It's possibly the worst thing that could happen, but it's also often the best way to learn. You can so easily analyze and see what you did wrong and never do it again because you know exactly what will happen if you do.

As far as social status goes, fuck it.
Our views can get so clouded and we build up people to be gods when they're just as human as us. Like unless you're this cool I really have no need to worry about your social status
Friends and Enemies Luckily I'm none too good at holding grudges so I don't have to worry about hating someone for doing one distasteful thing to me. And I know that high school is a great time to build and learn how build friendships especially with girls.
Take care of your body Just yesterday I used this gem that I discovered while on /r/gainit to get myself a plan for putting on weight and eating healthier, oddly enough I have eggs as part of my breakfast meal. And I planned five meals a day. So now all I have to do is the hard part of actually staying on that diet. I really should get more sleep I aim for at least 7hr45m but I'm going to bump it to 8hr15m because often times I end up feeling more tired than I should. I currently drink about two bottles of water a day, I got into that habit because of constant recommendations from my coach to do so. Since I have practice every day though I think aiming for 3-4 a day would be a worthwhile improvement.

After yet another wondrous passage, I think the only thing you could possibly do to help is keep being a such a bro. You have definitely been one of the most helpful contributors in direct advice. I'm going to take every single bit of this advice and aim to make a post by May 1 about how I've improved or put to use the advice. I'll make sure to give you credit in that post and say that you put me on the right path. Good luck on life after high school man.
Edit: fixed my terrible formatting
Edit2: added some teddy roosevelt

[–]PrinceAsneeze2 points 13 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]YungPinecone 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]supitsLoki 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrinceAsneeze1 points 13 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrinceAsneeze1 points 13 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I have all these potential girls in mind, and if this were me last year I wouldn't have thought to even consider so many options. But lately with my heightened Alpha state (still under development, of course) I have confidence in getting anyone, hell, even if I don't talk to them, I have no problem with the thought of approaching them and showing them a good time. I'm way more open with people and I've always been sociable and likable, I had the raw material but couldn't focus it into tools for my advantage. I've found confidence within myself and my only regret is that I would've had this knowledge earlier so I could have gotten the best out of my high school career, but fuck it I graduate soon and I'll be in college, and to me all that means is a clean slate to be able and meet new people and show them just how Alpha I can be.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrinceAsneeze1 points 13 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

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