Sometimes no response is the best answer!

bonerfleximus · 2013-03-27T04:11:41+00:00

nope

your "no response" was like the biggest response of all. not responding to a three page text honestly is just immature; something like that obviously warrants acknowledgement even if it's just "okay whatever." that would've been the best response.

by not responding, you purposely tried to give her a bad reaction, and you're even getting a kick out of it. it is probably driving her crazy, you're right about that, but it's because she thinks you're probably pissed or offended despite the fact that she actually put a lot of thought into her text. i mean you can't really think she's thinking "wow he didn't respond, he must be so non-needy that's really hot."

tl;dr: ignoring a lengthy, obviously thought-out text because it makes you feel alpha is a dick move and actually is almost as bad as sending a needy "we can work this out" text

edit: unless her novel text was manipulative and she was playing games. then yeah, ignore that shit, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here

AussieEquiv · 2013-03-27T06:08:17+00:00

Hey X, thanks for your text but I don't think it would be a good idea for us to just be friends. I like you more than that and it would be unfair for me to put that kind of pressure on you whenever we hung out.

and;

I wish you all the best with work/study/whatever the excuse was.
or
I'm glad we met and wish you all the best in life.

Bigger_Naby · 2013-03-27T07:23:13+00:00

Sorry op, but i have to disagree with you here. While in many cases ignoring a text can be beneficial, I don't find this to be one of those cases. If she gave enough of a shit to write out a 3-page text she obviously wanted you pretty bad.

Guys, not only does that drive a girl crazy, but it also feels awesome for multiple reasons.

I know it's driving her crazy, which is hilarious to me.

I'm showing myself that I have the willingness to walk away and not be phased.

I don't think you're actually driving her crazy instead I believe she thinks you're kinda pathetic now. I sure would.

I think that you're pretty immature for not answering her.

Whether or not you want to be friends with this chick in the long run does not matter. You still owe her the common courtesy of answering her damn text considering she gave enough of a damn about your ass to send out a long text.

Of course, most of this is written around the assumption that this text was in fact a well thought-out or "heartfelt" text.

With all that being said I believe the most important lesson to be learned here is that you should never stop gaming until you actual got what you wanted.

You stopped running before you finished the race.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-03-27T03:47:47+00:00

She texts me to tell me she feels it's better we just stay friends and she all of a sudden has a "change of heart".

Needless to say, she sent a 3 page long text.

The lady doth protest too much.

She wouldn't exert so much effort to tell you off, if she wasn't disappointed you didn't give her what she wanted. You still could.

2013-03-27T07:08:18+00:00

I'd have to agree that your two reasons for not responding to her are a little contrary. You can't say you're able to walk away un-phased in one breath, while you intentionally tried to elicit a negative reaction from her while gloating about it in another.

Obviously, you are a little conflicted. That's okay, but take the time to examine why. Her "change of heart" happened because you stopped doing the things that attracted her to you in the first place (running game), so you really have no cause to direct any hostility towards her. It's on you to create and maintain that attraction. Like you said, it's a learning experience.

Now, some people like to burn bridges, but if you keep that door open a little bit you'll discover that this girl may bear other fruits - maybe she has hot friends, maybe she can be a good wing for you, maybe she'll rediscover what a cool cat you are and be willing to try again. All of that is worth getting over your bruised ego and being genuinely cool with her.

We should all strive to be gracious and to add value to everyone's lives, even girls it didn't work out with (provided they didn't fuck you over somehow or are otherwise insane).

You still have a large window of time left in which to send her an equally thoughtful text. A nice "Hey, I completely understand, sometimes things don't work out. Hopefully we can still hang out once in a while :)". That's all you have to do. Now, next time she sees you it won't be awkward.

JOSEPH_LEMIUS · 2013-03-27T07:17:31+00:00

What a fucking jackass.

Bombolini · 2013-03-27T04:55:36+00:00

I think you need to consider your choice here. Yeah, it feels great to know that someone is looking up at you. It's great to know that you hold the ability to influence their emotions. It's great to consider your options and all that jazz, but it sounds like this girl feels for you. If you don't want anything to do with her, I think it would be best just to crush her heart so she doesn't have to do it herself. If you want to game her, yeah, I think your making one of several possible right moves but otherwise, I don't see a reason to play with someones heart with no intentions

Stojas · 2013-03-27T03:22:53+00:00

Whisper · 2013-03-27T07:04:28+00:00

Well put.

Remember, lads, clever responses to shit tests and the like are fun as hell, and that's why you should do them when you have one. But all you really have to do is keep your cool, don't get all butthurt, and don't take her seriously.

Agree and amplify, ignore, or just grin and say "nah", or "nice one".

She's not testing to see if you are the straight version of Oscar Wilde. She's testing to see if she can rattle you.

Human_Isomer · 2013-03-27T14:05:49+00:00

What do you guys think of this response: "Yeah, I wasn't really feeling a connection any deeper than friends either, I'm glad you said it first". Then he could've left the door open for a change of heart on her part. If he was still interested in her he could've hit on other girls in front of her when they hung out or something. And made her see that he doesn't need any emotional investment from her for him to be happy etc etc... Basically, game her indirectly.

RedSeddit · 2013-03-27T19:55:37+00:00

I am in agreement, nothing good would have come from responding to that novel after the games she was playing. Next her.

Mshotts · 2013-03-27T22:00:12+00:00

I love your advice. It pumps me up. But it still hurts right now. I think the best thing at this point for me would be to cut contact. If she wants back in, she can let me know.

rikjames90 · 2013-03-28T03:12:31+00:00

Should have told her "cool story bro"

puntingbaxter · 2013-03-27T17:34:18+00:00

Fuck all these pussy white knights in here.

You owe her nothing.

You weren't in a relationship with her. It's not like you guys were married, had kids, a house, pets, etc.

Bravo, you don't need to please everyone.

One of the biggest things preached in seduction is outcome independence. Well, you acted independent on the outcome. Yet, everyone thinks you are a jackass.

Fuck all of them, they probably don't get laid.

Nintendew · 2013-03-27T04:15:18+00:00

This is exactly what I needed to hear after being dumped last week. I need to stop worry about what I lost since it's not worth my time or energy. Honestly, Thank you.

canllaith · 2013-03-27T07:19:39+00:00

Fazed.

Quizmaster119 · 2013-03-27T03:43:04+00:00

This is a step in the right direction. The only comment I have is that you shouldn't necessarily get a power trip from this, the goal is to get to the point where girls get put in your friend zone, but it does sound like this was a pretty good response for this situation. I upvoted the other comment though because, intentionally or not, that is also a good response to someone trying to edit and/or control your emotions towards them.

stillcole · 2013-03-27T03:51:27+00:00

Good tip. Is also a relief sometimes to not stop and try and think of some kind of response. trying too hard is obvious and has an opposite effect a lot of times

justVisitingAgain · 2013-03-27T05:27:42+00:00

Cooper?

derpinita · 2013-03-27T04:17:51+00:00

Good for you!

Title	Sometimes no response is the best answer!
Author	KaptainKid
Upvotes	33
Comments	48
Date	March 27, 2013 3:17 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1b37l9/sometimes_no_response_is_the_best_answer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/sometimes-no-response-is-the-best-answer.1349643 https://theredarchive.com/post/1349643

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