What is wrong with me?

Dwerg1 · 2024-12-21T12:25:04+00:00

Been there, done that. Came from low self-esteem, subconsciously thinking I'm not good enough and as such assuming my presence would bother them rather than be enjoyed.

Maybe some of them would feel bothered if you approached them, but guess what? You can just walk away again if that's the case. If you don't approach them you also take away any chance of giving her a good time as well.

If you think about it you have to be pretty arrogant to just assume they'll be bothered by you walking over there to simply talk, you don't know that's what's going to happen.

Ultimately you are making a series of decisions and assumptions rooted in the belief that you're not good enough, you should address and challenge that belief.

Connect_Body_9819 · 2024-12-21T12:01:25+00:00

Same here brother

freel0der · 2024-12-21T12:18:29+00:00

I couple of things. The only thing wrong with you is thinking there is something wrong with you. You seem to have the upper hand in the looks department most likely getting a lot of eye contact.

It’s natural to be nervous approaching girls. Most men don’t approach.

You are just being nervous and the nervousness tricks you into believing there is something majorly wrong with you.

First off learn to Meditate. Ross Jeffries has a free 9 minute taps called 3-3-3.

Once in the field and this arises you are probably over complicating the whole seduction process in your head. There is no magic Line or trick you need to do.

Some practical things you can try infield. Use aggression to fuel yourself. Every time you spot a hot girl and can’t approach get really angry at yourself for it. After a few girls the pain of not approaching will be worse than the “pain” from the anxiety and you will approach.

You can also try to babystep it by doing incredibly small things that are not as scary like just asking a simple question like “what are you drinking?” To some girls. Then ramp it up until you can do a “full” approach.

Recommend you try one of the ones I suggested next time in field. Also don’t be hard on yourself and remember your anxiety around women is not such a unique problem that it can’t be “fixed”. Tons of guys have it. Most don’t do a thing about it, but it can be fixed don’t worry.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-12-21T14:19:40+00:00

I always say approaching a woman is pretty similar like going swimming. You don’t go swimming in an open sea if you don’t even know how to swim in a swimming pool.

It’s mostly skills and skillset, that means you can learn it and you can get better at it.

If you don’t know how to approach a hot girl, then try something smaller: talk to a random guy first, or a girl that is not attractive at all. Or if you feel awkward talking to strangers, have a friend coming with you.

Just like swimming, play around by the stairs or in the 3-4 feet deep first so you won’t get anxious or drowned. Then learn how to float and swim before you go to the deeper end.

Onzalimey · 2024-12-21T17:30:19+00:00

Called approach anxiety and everyone gets it. There isn’t any way around it besides just doing it and the more you do it the easier it get.

One thing I’ve found that helps the most is as SOON as you walk into the bar approach the first girl. Immedietly. Even if you wait a minute it’s too late

No-Astronaut9455 · 2024-12-21T13:14:13+00:00

You have a ego that is in your way, learn how to ignore it or how to value that failure is part of the experience to become better

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2024-12-21T14:23:55+00:00

Nothing wrong with you. You're just in your head too much. Get some idea on what to do to relieve your anxiety. See my post, how to do a good approach.

Amaran345 · 2024-12-21T15:50:44+00:00

It's ok to feel a bit anxious before meeting a stranger, but, take into account the anxiety cycle, if you keep avoiding the situation that causes anxiety...it will get worse, and the more you avoid it the worse the anxiety, until you become crippled by it.

Study everything about anxiety, become a master at managing it, and you will be able to approach all day long

HipX · 2024-12-21T17:39:29+00:00

Think of it like jumping in a cold pool or lake. It's stressful, but then you feel great shortly after you do it. It never got easier for me (pool or approaches), but I did it anyway knowing the fear before was harder and the result was worth it.

someone719 · 2024-12-21T19:00:34+00:00

Your post reminds me of myself from a few years ago. Looking back, I didnt transition immediatly. It took some time. I actually felt like a looser in my youth but then figured out more about how life works and felt better. Just recently I noticed that girls check me out, and its not just all males. Now, every time I notice it, it gives me confidence.

In the past I only spoke to people if I had to. But with the confidence boost it feels much more natural to approach others. Take it slow. Talk to the bus driver and ask him about his scedule (if something happens on the ride, its even easier to start the small talk. But both actually works (unless there is a sign that forbids it ofc)). You dont have to always do it. When you feel like it, or there is a situation. Each talk will make it feel easier. Ask people in the bus/train about their book, when they are distracted or something. At work or uni, talk to the people sitting next to you. What do they study, what project do they work on? Any hobbies?

Over time, any time you approach someone it will feel more natural. So far, I havnt seen anyone that didnt enjoy the talk! So noticing this will also help = )

Quartrez · 2024-12-21T21:51:03+00:00

You have to internalize that talking to women is perfectly fine, she won't be bothered and whatever you say will be fine too. That's something I used to struggle with (Still struggle with a little bit) and the thing that worked for me was just telling myself over and over that it's perfectly OK and normal to go talk to women and they won't mind it, even if it turns out she's not interested.

Accomplished_Dish544 · 2024-12-22T19:52:18+00:00

Whiskey's gonna do the work

Electronic_News_8247 · 2024-12-29T03:50:09+00:00

Bar might not be you spot. Meet people in general. Have fun & women will come along with that.

ympostor · 2024-12-21T14:40:58+00:00

Would you be interested in a Rizz coach that takes no fee (only voluntary contribution if after the training you do get results)? That's me, I'm going to setup this experiment. DM me if you're interested.

Title	What is wrong with me?
Author	checaralho
Upvotes	24
Comments	20
Date	December 21, 2024 11:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hj879z/what_is_wrong_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-wrong-with-me.1539115 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539115

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