When does all this start being fun?

invisibo · 2013-05-05T10:53:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PeefHats · 2013-05-05T09:40:08+00:00

Dude, just find a place that has the right atmosphere. Go to a different place every night. Go to a place where the beer flows like wine and the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. Don't make it a chore, it should be fun. Don't just talk to everyone, hell let some of them talk to you. Just be cool, man.

CluckyMcNugget · 2013-05-05T17:47:48+00:00

I had to jump in on this one. I was in the exact same place as you, last fall. Going out had lost all enjoyment and I basically stopped going out for most of the winter.

Fast forward to March and I got drug out by a good friend of mine who is ALWAYS out doing something. We went to our usual spot and I had my usual, shitty time. The worst / best part about it is my friend is an unbelieveable approacher - absolutely fearless. So, I'm stuck in my head watching my friend do what I should be doing.

The place is about to close and I'm about to go home, dejected as usual, when he says we should go somewhere else. I almost decline, but go instead, quite reluctantly. And I must tell you that was the best decision I've made in years!

Something about the new location and new dynamics of this place just worked for me HUGE! I got more looks in that one night than I had gotten the whole year and I was put into state, just like that. Met a beautiful girl, who pursued me - got my number, took a photo of us kissing, etc.

Ever since then, going out has been much easier and I find it easier to get into state, because I know what if feels like and even more importantly, I know what I'm capable of. This has been the biggest turning point for me - that I finally realize how truly unlimited my potential is.

Am I where I want to be? Not even close. In fact, my sex life is quite bad right now, but I feel more energized than ever to go out, meet new women and learn what my stick points are and how to overcome them.

So, the morals of the story? I've been blessed with two friends that are naturals, that constantly keep me out and improving, one of which I met, you guessed it, out sarging. So, game the guys you see out every week and learn.

Another way I stay motivated is talking to others about seduction. I've always said the best way to stay motivated is to motivate others - this might be the single best piece of advice I could give. There are so many guys with fucked up views of women and relationships that are just begging for help, whether they know it or not. I hit them with a riddle I got from Magic Bullets - why is that men are afraid to approach women? After a few minutes, they are practically grabbing my shirt, eyes like saucers, ready to learn more. This empowers me with a Tony Robbins-like confidence to carry on.

Also, try new and different places and once you find a spot that works for you, milk it for everything it's worth. Building situational confidence is not a good long-term strategy, but anything that can get some wins under your belt is only going to help you.

I hope something in that wall of text I wrote strikes a chord with you and gives you that little 'oomph' you need to keep on keepin' on. Because I know what you are going through, because I was there - in fact, I posted the same question on another site and got the same responses. Nothing helped and I almost gave up, but I'm glad I didn't. This is as important for us as our health, finances, career, etc. and just like those things will only pay off for those with the will to perservere.

Good luck! You can do it.

bl1y · 2013-05-05T15:40:30+00:00

This is going to sound like a completely irrelevant question, but I'd like you to answer it anyways. You'll have to trust me, I know where this is going.

What do you do with your time the rest of the week? Are you in school? Have a job? What are your hobbies like? Do you go to the gym? Do you cook much or eat a lot of fast food? Walk me a through a week in the life of Koi.

nittutt · 2013-05-05T10:31:37+00:00

Find something fun about every single person you meet. Something unique or interesting that will "spark" your attraction,

IntrovertSuccess · 2013-05-05T14:27:46+00:00

Maybe other environments would suit you better?

Concerts, cafes, shopping districts, museums, galleries etc.

Skytile · 2013-05-05T16:40:30+00:00

The problem is definitely the venue. I find clubs and bars in my city far too loud to even have a conversation with somebody. I much prefer walking through common areas of campus, finding a couple of people playing pool, and striking up a conversation with them.

In similar situations, you can hear each other because there's not a ridiculous amount of music playing, and because this is a place that people are conditioned not to approach others, their guard is down, and they find it refreshing that somebody just wants to have a friendly conversation with them at a time of the day when people care more about personality than looks.

Then again, everything seems to be easier on a college campus. I wouldn't know where to go to meet people like this once I graduate.

100settitor · 2013-05-05T23:50:00+00:00

I'm going to have to agree with a lot of the comments here, and suggest that you focus more on having fun social outings than filling out a mental checklist of successes in pickup. If you went out and talked to new people, and had fun with it, you are probably improving more than if you "opened 5 HB7s with the familiarity opener".

Self improvement should be inherently enjoyable, and since it isn't right now you're probably forcing yourself into mundane situation where you are unhappy. Girls pick up on those social cues, and will leave you in the dust. No one wants to meet the guy who seems to hate being there.

mescalineeyes · 2013-05-05T13:17:48+00:00

If it isn't fun, you're doing it wrong.

2ripped4u · 2013-05-05T16:10:06+00:00

Alcohol usually helps me.

1vibe · 2013-05-05T17:41:34+00:00

It's all fun, rejection is fun. Experimenting with openers and kino is fun (last night I tried "lets make out").

Really just need to go inside your head and change it there. Try repeating, "I'm having fun" and faking a smile over and over Til it sticks. Use it as an opener.

Think of a night out as playing your favorite game. Game. Treat it like a game in your head. When the boss kills you, you get another chance!

That said, I don't like clubs very much either... Try to find one with a quiet area to pull too... And play Day game

enriquex · 2013-05-05T18:14:13+00:00

Protip for clubs: get to know the bar staff/bouncers. If the music is shitty find a better club (this club in my city has a shocking line up most saturdays but the music is great on thursdays). Drinks are overpriced, sure, but you really should be meeting up with people beforehand and drinking if you're going clubbing. I live in Melbourne, so clubbing is pretty much my only option with regards to 18-21 year olds. I used to hate it but I've grown to love it.

Unfortunately, as a skinny 18 year old nerd I learnt the hard way that girls at clubs are the most superficial beings on the planet. I can't really judge what you're doing wrong but it seems you're just nervous when approaching girls. Know what I did last Thursday night? I walked up to this girl, asked her name, told her mine, grabbed her hips and started dancing. Hooked up about 10 seconds later and got her number. It is literally that easy if you're confident, dress well, smell nice (this is important) and just in general look good. (My facial aesthetics are pretty poor, I got a huge nose but I take care of my body).

I can relate to your situation. Best things that I did were:

Getting a gym membership and treating my body right. Went from skinny skeleton to a decently built guy - did wonders for my confidence
Dressing properly. No more baggy tshirts and loose jeans. Also smelling nice and not just chucking on some $2 deodorant.
First actual success, it's like a turning point. You can't wait to go out again.

Keep trying, stay dedicated to the cause and you'll make it.

PowerSeductionWar · 2013-05-07T02:18:15+00:00

Keep at it, it will get fun when you get good at it

Canei · 2013-05-09T07:04:55+00:00

It becomes fun the moment you stop caring about outcomes and peoples' opinion of you.

gigitygigitygoo · 2013-05-05T14:02:14+00:00

The atmosphere you're in will greatly affect your results and state of mind. It takes acceptance of what this all really is, a game, before it becomes fun.

Work on your day game for a little while. Go to a Target where women don't have their guards up and get some practice in a no pressure environment. Clubs can be brutal and I personally don't go unless I'm in the right state of mind. If you do go, practice on some fat girls and work your confidence up before going after the ones you're attracted to.

This is only fun when you accept the circumstances and rejection, learn from each encounter, and approach with a "fuck it" attitude.

Remember, if they aren't into you, you won't be into them. It's like getting a car checked out by a mechanic before buying, only to find out it's been in numerous accidents and has a bad transmission. It cost you a little up front but you didn't waste any unnecessary time or money in something you wouldn't have been happy with. Fun right? That's qualifying. Do it, assume attraction, and accept rejection as your mechanic telling you you're better off and to move on.

2013-05-05T15:29:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	When does all this start being fun?
Author	Koi___
Upvotes	32
Comments	20
Date	May 5, 2013 9:33 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dq4cd/when_does_all_this_start_being_fun/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-does-all-this-start-being-fun.1351796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351796

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