Where did I go wrong, if at all?

plowzedong · 2018-03-02T17:52:46+00:00

You're too available.

Talk to other women.

alias_guy88 · 2018-03-02T20:55:14+00:00

Instead of being honest with her, you lied about your true intentions. You want to be more than friends. This is how men get permanently fixated on one particular woman.

Ive seen this scenario a few times, I've also been in it.

Guy has investment - guy keeps messaging girl he hooked up with - she messages back - she never agrees on a second date or maybe he does and it's incredibly quiet - he keeps messaging her all the same - she loses attraction or now feels she needs to let him know about the loss of attraction- friend zone.

When she told you she wasn't looking for anything else you should have replied with.

"I respect your honesty, but being friends isn't really what I wanted, I was more interested in dating you, seeing where it was going. I think being friends isn't going to work. I think we should part ways here".

Then you move on, and you do so without looking back, you accept that she's gone forever.

I agree with the comments on here as well. You were too available and you didn't go for what you wanted, you should have put your intentions on the table so to speak, either by trying to escalate or verbally. By texting her too much and not establishing boundaries you messed up.

If you asked her out once and she said she was busy, give her the benefit of the doubt and propose another time the following week. If In the upcoming days she still doesn't know. Tell her.

"Hey I like talking to You, you really seem like someone worth knowing. But, I can't waste my time trying to organise another date when I feel like you don't want to go on one. If you ever feel like doing something let me know, if not that's okay too but I'm not really looking for a friendship".

After that you've succeeded. You've established your boundary and what you want, you polarize her immediately. I've gotten mixed results from this, girls coming back into my life weeks later, girls verbally abusing me (which was great, I didn't want to date someone like that anyway), girls not replying, girls agreeing or apologising. They're all good responses, because you find out the truth there and then.

LingeringGnome · 2018-03-03T00:35:25+00:00

I made out with a girl from work, we got talking and this ended up being a very good night at hers.

We exchanged details and we've spoke ever since, everyday.

Mistake #1. Yappity-Yap-Yap. Too much contact.

I decided to ask her on a date, as we agreed we would go for dinner.

Mistake #2. A dinner date is too much of an investment in time early on. A simple drink or two is far more effective and standard.

My friend you MUST learn to understand context. Look at the world around you. Look at what happened on your first night with this woman. She fucked you.

When a woman fucks you on the first night, your next move is to invite her over to your place for more sex, not a dinner invite. It's casual, and she's okay with it being casual.

She said she was super busy and would get back to me. I totally brushed this off and waited and waited but yet she'd continue to keep in contact with very long messages. Sometimes 5-6 long messages.

Not a bad sign at all.

Messages were normal, actually didn't have to try very hard unlike I've done in the past. Conversation flowed

whenever I see the phrase "conversation flowed", I think "the guy is texting way too fucking much".

Texting is for ARRANGING MEETS in early courtship, or sexting. Not exchanging novels.

Also, you don't need "conversation to flow" to seduce women. You need physicality. You're not looking for a debate partner. I really dislike that fucking cliche.

she'd always respond

Why are you texting her so much?

even if not straight away or she'd be busy and apologise for any late messages when in reality it was fine. (Why can't all girls be like this?)

Stop OVER-TEXTING WOMEN.

I randomly bumped into her during training yesterday and she gave me a hug. We chatted for a bit but she had to go back to her course. She hugged me again.

This woman looooves your attention.

Remove it and watch her squirm.

I text her saying it was really nice to see her.

Holy shit this is so boring, lol.

You: That hug got me worked up.

She said the same, but that it was random. So in conversation I said we should definitely go for dinner.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Yeah would be cool... But not really looking for anything if I'm honest at the moment but up for hanging as friends"

You got friend zoned by not escalating, and not acting like a dominant man.

Next morning she replied straight away saying

"Sorry :("+ "Hope your day goes ok x"

lol.

She continues to send me long messages!

Ignore them and see other women.

This is so common. Guy gets a taste of a woman, then acts like a kid who just wandered into a candy store, spazzing out and can't keep his hands off the candy (over-texting), and chases the woman away.

Look, women who hook up with you on the first date are sexually liberated, stronger, and independent women. It's OKAY to give them space after you fuck them. in fact, they WANT it. It's how they find out if you're emotionally-centered enough to be in their lives romantically.

I have a fairly simple filter on first dates: I don't date conservative women. So I either bail on the date alone (a woman who didn't pass my tests), or end up having sex with my date, or at least oral sex or a very heavy makeout session.

What do I do the following week?

Nothing.

If she liked me, and the sex, she'll do the feminine thing and reach out to me. When she does, I'll invite her over to my place.

If she doesn't text me or contact me, no big deal.

The_Reddit_Jester · 2018-03-02T19:54:17+00:00

I mean, what do you want exactly? Do you want a girlfriend or a fuck buddy?

Because the way I'm reading it is she wants to keep hanging out but wants to be clear it won't lead to anything right now. So I would still hang with her, flirt, escalate and see what happens. But don't put all your eggs in one basket either. It's simple, once the floodgates open and you hook up with a girl, it becomes easier to have it happen again with her, unless you were bad in the bedroom. At least from my experience.

mostlyart · 2018-03-02T20:18:18+00:00

Stop texting so much, stop analyzing the messages, talk to more women.

Why'd you agree that it's cool to just be friends if you're worried about being in a permanent friendzone? Sounds like you're not cool with it. Don't be just friends with a girl if you don't want to be just friends with her.

Lambdal7 · 2018-03-03T23:25:23+00:00

She is testing you to see if there is any manliness or savage in you.

You could have responded, "Yeah that's cool, except I will pull your hair after dinner." and she would be sulking over you the whole night.

You just need to be morr flirty/alpha and tease her hard (without being a dick) and she'll come around.

Burnafterpostinghere · 2018-03-02T18:46:22+00:00

I think she wants you as an orbiter

Daniele_Lyon · 2018-03-02T19:56:43+00:00

Another option. She could be a manipulator. Not enough information to say.

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-03-02T20:04:24+00:00

You should have just asked to netflix and chill again. If she made out with you once, she would be up for another 'session'. A man should take charge and quit meekly asking women what we are permitted to do with them or to them. Instead of quietly saying "howdy" you should have just grabbed her and hugged her and said "hey babe" and planted a deep kiss right on her lips, then just let her go and continue on what you're doing.

RobbieGarrett · 2018-03-03T01:53:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

throwawaylilbastard · 2018-03-03T04:05:45+00:00

She doesn't know what the fuck she wants.

TotallyWorrie · 2018-03-02T18:51:28+00:00

You need to schedule a time to hang out with her as "friends" then cancel because you have a date. Don't respond to her texts for awhile. (I don't meant ignore her for a week) I mean if she texts you, read it and put your phone back in your pocket and go do something.

Try to forget about it. Then text her back later that night. You changing your normal behavior around her will cause her to ask questions. Be vague in your answers. Tell her you've been busy hanging out with "insert girls name"

Make sure you have a real girl though, you make one up and she finds out, you're fucked.

EDIT: the whole point of doing this is to accomplish two things. It shows your a valuable commodity because other women are talking to you and spending time with you. It also shows that you don't idolize her and she's replaceable to you.

It's not a sure fire thing, but it could work.

Title	Where did I go wrong, if at all?
Author	RobbieGarrett
Upvotes	3
Comments	37
Date	March 2, 2018 5:32 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/81fyhd/where_did_i_go_wrong_if_at_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-did-i-go-wrong-if-at-all.1442537 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442537

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