Why being a virgin means NOTHING

S_K_I · 2013-12-07T19:12:27+00:00

Your advice is good and all but I don't think you quite understand the complexities of being a virgin in today's society.

I am telling you once and for all, being a virgin means nothing to women.

Are you sure about that? Do you speak for all women across the country? Because I can tell you from my own experience that virgin shaming is still quite common in the United States, even more so now with the brain washing through reality TV, celebrity worship, and self-esteem issues of social status. What you see and hear online is a lot different in reality because it's not as easy as being anonymous on Reddit.

So next time when you go to seduce a girl, stop thinking about the sex, about you being a virgin, think about how much you want her. I remember a while ago a post about the intensity with which a man says what he says and the effect it has. Seducing a girl isn't so much about what you say but how you say it, how you look at her and how you smile. It's all about the non-verbal communication. And this then translates over to sex.

Again, you're under the impression that virgins have this ability to easily flip a switch in their brain and approach a woman? There are so many factors to consider why they're perpetually failing at dealing with the opposite sex, which something you consider easy. They might be fat or consider themselves ugly, and just thinking about that only lowers their self-esteem further. And for all we know there could be psychological issues they're dealing with, i.e.: Bipolar disorder, Aspergers, ADHD, or worse Anxiety. And if that's the case, then they're gonna fail ten times out of ten because they're suffering from a neurological problem that many people simply have no clue how devastating it has on social relationships.

Guess what happens when a virgin with no confidence and little regard for themselves tries to approach a girl they like. First their heart starts racing, and immediately follows is a flood of thoughts, so any sort of speech you had memorized goes out the window and you haven't even opened your mouth. Then you're second guessing every word you say, and over analyzing how they're responding. Girls will notice this, and dare I say most of them do not find shy and nervous guys attractive, even harder when they see this poor guy has no confidence. By then she'll lose interest and like clock work this virgin is back to square one.

There's a difference between neediness and wanting. Neediness is over-attachment, the need to please so they will do what you want. Wanting or desiring someone is about sexual pleasure and is delivered through your intensity.

Sexual pleasure to a virgin is a foreign concept. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and imagine what it would feel like to never feel the warmth of a girl in bed with you. To never be kissed by one. To never have a person to call your own. The thought of being hugged by a girl is sometimes too much to handle because they're not used to being touched; you wouldn't be able to handle those extreme emotions and eventually become overwhelmed by them. So those needs and wants are meaningless to them because you're talking about is chapter 3 when they haven't even opened the book yet.

It's not that I don't think you know what you're talking about, but I think you just lack some insight and introspection on others and while I agree that you are right on some of your talking points, you still don't grasp at the complexities of this social stigma that is generally considered a negative thing. Simply growing balls is neither a solution or helpful at all to someone who has no self esteem because I'm sure they would of stopped reading your advice after "I'm sick of your bullshit". Being a virgin means EVERYTHING when you are one...

Hope that illuminates...

Edit: grammar and structure.

ihopethispcworks · 2013-12-07T19:20:55+00:00

This was insightful. But being a virgin does mean something, at least the older you get. If you're 16 years old it doesn't matter and shouldn't matter, because most of the population is still virgins at that age and people are just starting to have sex. On the other hand, if you're 24 and still a virgin, you've got a much steeper slope to work up and fight against.

LiftBodyUpThenDown · 2013-12-07T18:52:27+00:00

Being a virgin means something.

uncleRusty · 2013-12-07T19:06:47+00:00

No matter what words you write on here, its still going to have a stigma about it.

policeandthieves · 2013-12-07T19:11:47+00:00

I wish I could just erase my feelings regarding not having had sex at 22 and just replace it with confidence. You make it sound so easy.

mrhondursa · 2013-12-07T20:49:46+00:00

Confidence is key.

dotafett · 2013-12-07T20:26:34+00:00

23yr old with v-card. And I have to completely disagree with all the other cardholders. I use to think this held me back, but as soon as I got out more, socialized, and DGAFs I started picking up more IOI signals. At first I never recognized these signals until my friends opened my eyes to how the girls I talk to try helplessly to get my attention. And honestly it wasn't until I went to my first music festival a couple months ago that I felt comfortable in my own skin. I ended up having a girl that I just met in my arms dancing and grinding through 2 DJ sets before she left to go see Pretty Lights while me and my friends stayed to watch Deadmau5. And although I was still too stupid to and forgot to get her number, I felt pretty accomplished that night. I can tell you that although I am still a virgin, that single night was enough to give me the confidence I needed to ask girls I like out on dates (got 1 lined up in a couple weeks at my school's pub and this will be my first attempt to game). My point is that being a virgin shouldn't hold you back from being the best man you can be and getting out there. Confidence in yourself is key!

uncleRusty · 2013-12-07T21:32:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MeesterWestside · 2013-12-07T23:17:47+00:00

Although I disagree with his arguement on virginity being worthless, I agree with what I believe to be his main point. Your focus determines your reality. If all you can think about is how much of a virgin you are, you're probably gonna stay that way.

absolutelyq · 2013-12-08T03:45:30+00:00

Dick for fucking someone in a relationshit (intentional) but besides that I agree

2013-12-09T00:22:37+00:00

Posts that say "but you don't understand what it's liek!1!!1!!!1!" don't matter. It doesn't matter if I don't understand what it's like to be a virgin (and I do understand what it's like, I lost my virginity at a late age). So what if I lacked insight into a virgin's mentality? The end is the same. You either take action, or you don't. Whether or not I have insight to a virgin's mind doesn't change the fact that he still has to take action, regardless of the difficulties that he faces. If he doesn't, or can't, then tough luck.

People CONSTANTLY post "but it's so hard!" "But it's so difficult, you just don't understand!" "It's not that easy!"

It doesn't change the answer: you either take action, or you don't. The difficulty is completely irrelevant. All if this "you don't understand what it's like!!!!!!" nonsense is just a self-pitying circle jerk. Just a way to find cheap validation and not actually do something to fix the problem.

Bracing for downvotes.

Daansn3 · 2013-12-07T19:38:11+00:00

As a virgin. This is great fucking advice. Abundance is key here. It's a mindset.

dongpal · 2013-12-07T21:21:30+00:00

You obviously dont understand the problem, you dont mention any of that problems a virgin has

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2013-12-07T22:08:24+00:00

Lost virginity at 18 after lots of effort and years of trying. Even my doctor didn't believe I was a virgin at an appointment. He was like, "come on you are joking right? Not even when you were drunk at a party?".

I lived in the dorms at a big party school for months without getting laid and it was PURE frustration. I think the biggest hurdle was that I went to an all male high school an never got to interact with women my age.

Hearing about people in their 20s and up as virgins makes me really sad.

But they shouldn't worry! I became incredibly successful having as much sex as I could handle throughout my single times.

snugiebum5 · 2013-12-07T22:52:50+00:00

Since I am 17 myself I even find it easier to seduce women if i lie and tell them that I am a virgin. that way they feel even more wanted then before.

H-Resin · 2013-12-07T23:53:00+00:00

Something I think a lot of dudes who have never had sex before miss out on - unlike men, for women, foreplay is really essential. I know that especially with a novel woman, you're already ready to go and just wanna dive right in. Don't do this. Finger her. Eat her out. Then it won't matter how short your actual intercourse might be, or how inexperienced you might seem, she will fucking adore you for caring about her sexual desires. And don't rush through the foreplay. Take your time.

BayouDC · 2013-12-07T19:02:19+00:00

Sorry to dash your hopes

rusty84 · 2013-12-07T22:50:42+00:00

It actually does. After my first time, my girlfriend (of like 2 1/2 months) was genuinely satisfied. However, on our next date, I told her that she was my first, and immediately lost interest right after I said that. She patronized me and retorted, "Oh, I hope I didn't pressure you into..." I cut her off mid sentence, and said, "Believe me, there was no pressure, in fact, you can pressure me right now." I went in for a kiss, but she pulled back right after 30 seconds or so, and dumped me the next day... Everything was fine before that...

Gillanthis · 2013-12-07T20:18:05+00:00

awesome advice

kazagistar · 2013-12-07T23:44:29+00:00

Being a virgin does not matter when you are young or a young adult.

Being an adult virgin is a death sentence. No one wants a 25 year old partner that is a virgin. Maybe a virgin by choice might be able to get someone, but real virgins--unfuckables--are not viewed as worthwhile mates. There is little that they can do about this.

This "just go out and have sex" bullshit is why those of us who are unfuckable hate normals. It is not because you are having sex. It is because you cannot even begin to understand why we are in the position that we are in and why things will not get better for us.

edit: virginity even matters for normals. A 23 year old who is a virgin is very likely going to be really bad at sex. People are very willing to end relationships because the sex is bad. Affairs/sexual infidelity is a common reason that relationships end. Adults like sex. They expect to be sexually satisfied in relationships. Virgins are not going to do that.

Title	Why being a virgin means NOTHING
Author	caesarmd
Upvotes	67
Comments	56
Date	December 7, 2013 3:31 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sbixr/why_being_a_virgin_means_nothing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-being-a-virgin-means-nothing.1362718 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362718

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