Why Does This Work? [Online Dating]

PUA_Mobius · 2016-11-01T11:47:38+00:00

You're also going to find when "no hookups" is on a girl's profile, she'll be much easier to hook up with. Not sure why that is, I'm sure there's some complex psychology there.

sodomy4every1 · 2016-11-01T11:59:45+00:00

Women talk about what's on their mind. Don't pay attention to an expressed view that is negative or affirmative, but rather what subjects they bring up. I find this especially true with the topics of sex and feminism. If she talks about not having sex, she's thinking about sex. If she talks about feminism, she's thinking about gender roles, and being masculine will help, not hurt, your cause.

dave3socks · 2016-11-01T15:28:00+00:00

Saying to take things slow, is almost the most powerful thing you can say to arouse a woman. It creates huge comfort in her and she needs to chase you, she needs to behave well to convince you, she needs to work for sex.

Always say that you want to take things slow.

leprogrammist · 2016-11-01T12:01:29+00:00

Because of slut shaming. You are slut but you don't want to look like one. So you go to a guy in the hope that he has understood this (because he wrote 'no hookups'). Of course of all this is big lie. But nobody cares. Females feel better when using little lies in their life. It's the same reason that a woman will never say no to you but always use sort of an excuse. It is the fine art of hypocrisy. If males were the choosers everybody would write "fast hookups please".

MikeAlphaGolf · 2016-11-02T01:08:44+00:00

Girls want to act like sluts. But they don't want to feel like sluts. Think about that.

Your aim is to be the cool guy that they can express themselves physically with. Not awkward. Not inexperienced. Non judgemental. You will lead them to the bedroom and make them feel like "it just happened".

mancozbi · 2016-11-01T11:35:48+00:00

Very appropriate post. Women are difficult, amazing, problematic and above all contradictory. WYSIWYG does not apply to women. It's what-you hear-is-not-what-you-get. A few months ago a woman walked into my house (2nd meeting) and says "we are not going to get touchy". I'm such an idiot, I took what she said on face value, sat a little away from her and didn't touch her. I should have - gently, of course - got closer and touched her. But, be careful, "no" doesn't mean yes, it means more like: "too fast for me, try later, I'm persuadeable". Reading that again I realise that I'm not actually answering your query. Didn't know that a man using contradictory talk - basically playing hard to get - works online. Makes sense that a profile that declares "let's fuck asap" is not going to work on most women. Love to know what the experts think.

nennerb15 · 2016-11-01T14:18:41+00:00

I read an article recently about the psychology of "no" recently. It basically said that the human brain takes everything in as positive initially, and applies the negative afterwards. So if someone says it hears something in the negative, their first thoughts about that are positive. It's very possible that seeing "no hookups" Plants the idea of hooking up in their mind before they apply the negative to it. That might have an effect on the likelihood of hooking up. I'll link it if I can find it.

And as others have said, it could have an effect on how they view themselves and how they think they will be viewed.

Plus they might have a higher opinion of someone who is "mature enough" to be looking for something more than hookups, which is ultimately the goal for most people.

CrayonStur · 2016-11-01T18:55:42+00:00

The answers in here are horrendous and not accurate. The most common reason this works is because most women (myself included) don't want to date a guy who is into hooking up with strange girls on the internet. We see he's not into that, he gets a point. We're generally more open to hooking up with someone we don't think is hooking up with every other person on the planet. We don't want STDs. We don't want a dick that's been in fifty people. Mystery fucking solved.

HedoNNN · 2016-11-01T14:03:54+00:00

I'm really wondering. I like to polarize things and make it clear that I'm not looking for serious relationship.
My rational would be that only open girls would then contact me. I'm more of the direct kind. I don't wanna waste time in dates with girls who want to wait before having fun you know?

MuchBetterThanBest · 2016-11-01T15:02:55+00:00

Have you entertained the idea that when you marked no hookups, people who messaged you didn't want to hookup? The number of those people just happens to be higher? I think this could be why. Women are people, not any more mysterious or strange than men. I am sure some convoluted human psychology applies here.

manwithnodesires · 2016-11-01T18:00:20+00:00

I matched with a girl on tinder who just asked to sit on my face. So I called off work and made it a date, we went back to her house and I said I don't have a jimmy so I'm not gonna Fuck you. She proceeded to sit on my face and then tried getting the D... my will power was not strong that day

derpyderpderpp · 2016-11-01T21:33:37+00:00

Did you actually hook up or was it a bunch of false positives?

2016-11-01T18:58:44+00:00

Sex is a tool women use to attain a relationship. Most want relationships, but are afraid of being used for sex. Your indicating you want a relationship dissuades that fear and gives the green light to open legs.

JWPapi · 2016-11-01T23:26:25+00:00

Just changed my tinder Bio to:

🚫NO HOOKUPS !!!!

☝Take things slow

🤓 Mind over Beauty

Thanks OP

2016-11-02T02:00:27+00:00

As long as you are being honest about that, why question it?

Rebel_Ravage · 2016-11-02T18:05:16+00:00

Women want what they can't have.

scrotalimplosion · 2016-11-02T21:06:57+00:00

So, so true.

Reached out, girl wouldn't talk to me, went for broke and left my contact info, forgot it, no followup
Worked out, posted some better pictures of my face and body
Girl contacted me a month later, but couldn't meet because of schedule conflicts. I tell her no rush, we have plenty of time. I do not followup, and genuinely don't really care.
She's been practically bothering me to meet and sending emojis. Meeting her today. Total reversal.

Not every situation works out this way for all people. And I'm not saying be lazy or a manipulative ass. Just don't put girls, or anyone for that matter, on a pedestal. Not being overly invested communicates that you're ok being yourself, doing your own life, and that you aren't a manipulator or creep--hopefully genuinely so. You shouldn't be desperate to need anyone in your life like that, unless you have exceptionally good reasons. Even then, people want peers, allies, and friends they can be frank with--not people who are drooling over them or want something. If you're ok being yourself and by yourself, there's no way to come off desperate--because you won't be! It's like the adage goes: be someone you want to be around, because that's the one person who you'll spend the most time with. People who will appreciate you and bring out the best in you--including girls--will come into your life as you are more comfortable with yourself! That's really the psychology behind all this basically. But yeah, like others said, it can sometimes be head games, covering up other motives, and all that. But the majority of girls are just defensive--and that's totally reasonable. So just be someone who genuinely has no reason to make them feel like they need to be defensive.

2016-11-01T15:25:48+00:00

Its simple. Brain and nervous system cannot register "no", if ur thinking about not having sex and having sex your brain(and your entire nervous system) is experienceing it as the exact same thing - thinking about sex.

bDsmDom · 2016-11-01T19:25:42+00:00

if you try to define yourself as not-something, then that something defines you. You'll notice that none of these girls say anything like 'i like to do activity/food/hobby on a first date.'

tramplemestilsken · 2016-11-01T20:34:24+00:00

If they go into a date knowing you are not expecting sex from them, it makes them feel safer, and therefore they can express themselves a little more freely. Otherwise they have to be a bit reserved and.

Also, it's probably kind of a nice challenge for them.

BaronVonNrx · 2016-11-01T22:03:05+00:00

Saying "No hookups" implies that you have had lots of hookups and you're past that. You are signaling high value and pre-selection.

Patrick2000 · 2016-11-01T13:36:46+00:00

A lot of the "advice" Im reading here is redpill material..

CoachToughLove · 2016-11-01T19:51:46+00:00

It because you're being a challenge. It has to do with their deep down "lizard brain."

EDIT:

Irony Is: A community built on seduction techniques, those which directly deal with the deepest, most primitive parts of a woman's brain and "feelings", and still not having a F'ing clue as to what really drives women's actions.

Weird. Wild. Stuff.

deejay_1 · 2016-11-01T22:51:58+00:00

I'll try this out tonight. It's kind of like a reverse psychology. I'm all for social engineering when it comes to online dating.

newaccount1619 · 2016-11-01T18:46:43+00:00

Ever try this on mobile apps, or just POF?

Title	Why Does This Work? [Online Dating]
Author	dtothetwo
Upvotes	205
Comments	53
Date	November 1, 2016 10:57 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5aif01/why_does_this_work_online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-does-this-work-online-dating.1414862 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414862

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