Why “Don’t ask for her number”?

PuroPincheGains · 2022-02-14T17:31:44+00:00

You don't "demand" it lol. Basically, you should have a reason to get her number. You're not making a request, you're making a suggestion due to circumstances that make you having her number a reasonable thing. For example, if you've been talking to this girl for hours about rock climbing, you'd say something like, "hey my friends just text me that they're leaving so I have to head out. Let me get your number and I'll hit you up next time I go climbing." If a possible answer to, "can I get your number," is, "why," then you didn't direct the conversation in a way that made it natural to have her number. Once you establish them, "why," then you can just say, "here, put your number in my phone and I'll text you."

AccomplishedReason18 · 2022-02-14T05:27:36+00:00

So you don’t sound like your begging, please can I have your number by heigness? It’s more like your acting like it’s expected and the normal thing to do

cmmckechnie · 2022-02-14T06:45:15+00:00

“We should text. What’s your number?”

2022-02-15T10:54:14+00:00

That demanding shit only works if she's into you to begin with. You just gotta feel the vibe.

I give her my number and leave it at that.

It puts her in control, no pressure from me
If she messages, I know there's interest
If she's in a group, it increases my odds of one of her friends getting my number as well

NineteenAD9 · 2022-02-14T13:26:23+00:00

Being direct, intentional, and confident is the difference. You are leading.

"Let's link up later, what's your number?"

"I have to run. Give me your number and I'll hit you up later."

"I want to hang out again with you. What's your number?"

Each one has clear action, direct words, and isn't putting the woman up on a pedestal.

Compared to more passive, lukewarm, "friendly" ways:

"I had a great time tonight. Is there any way I can get your number?"

"I think I have to go. Do you want to exchange numbers?"

"We should hang out again. Can I get your number? Or do you want to exchange Instagram or something?"

There's nothing certain, confident or actionable about those. You're putting yourself below her by asking "do you want..." "Can I..." and giving her additional possibilities to allow you to contact her by without getting a number "is there any way..." "or".

froze_gold · 2022-02-14T13:24:07+00:00

I statements with clear intent. "I'd like your number."

Her answer is "No"? Just say "Have it your way, see ya" and move on to the next

Make sure to build rapport

Silver-Variation8903 · 2022-02-14T08:29:32+00:00

Because it’s a dominant move. Women don’t want to be asked things, they want to be told what to do.

If you haven’t realised that girls don’t want guys that are “nice” then you’re really missing the point

almighty_nsa · 2022-02-14T11:05:22+00:00

Because the majority of women do not like men who are luke-warm about them. They are self centered. They want to be more than just „worth a try“. For instance: my grandpa met my grandma while she was working at a clothing store. He walked in saw her and immediately told her: „I will not leave until you sat down with me in the cafe across the street.“ And this man straight up waited 4 hours and got what he asked for. Absolute fucking legend.

ur_notmytype · 2022-02-14T04:05:47+00:00

What kind of websites you be reading? That’s some creep shit

incognito3107 · 2022-02-14T07:15:49+00:00

I guess it's about changing your attitude towards it. You don't beg her to do you a favour. You just need it to deepen your relationship in near future, which she also wants.

BurritoDick · 2022-02-14T04:27:23+00:00

Just ask for her number confidently. In some ways you can ask for her number without making it sound like a question (I really don’t know how to explain this) Maybe the websites you’re looking at aren’t clearly articulating that you are not expecting her to says no but if she does say no, respect it. It’s just a random persons phone number so if that person doesn’t want to give it to you don’t make it a big deal and move on.

MrStallion22 · 2022-02-14T15:29:48+00:00

It’s solid advice. But people will mistakenly say the reason it’s good advice is because by doing this you’re indicating that you have chosen the girl, rather than her choosing you and therefore you’re the prize blah blah blah. That’s a part of it but not the full picture.

And hence this advice is usually given out without the nuance it deserves. You’re right in saying if you just go up to girls and say “give me your number!” you will most certainly get rejected more so than if you had just asked for it. However this becomes good advice when you consider what you should be doing BEFORE you take her number. And that’s this: you will have built up enough rapport and connection where you can propose a date, something like you’d like to see her again and maybe go for a drink if she’s free next week, she says yes to this, and THEN you just say “cool I’ll take your number” because it makes SENSE at this point to take it, rather than ask for it and THAT’S the nuance of the advice.

Set up the idea of the date BEFORE you get the number.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-02-15T04:31:45+00:00

I wouldn’t advise demanding anything from a woman you’re interested in. Least of all her phone number. If you want to creep her out that’s a fast track to doing it.

Title	Why “Don’t ask for her number”?
Author	sg_jjk
Upvotes	6
Comments	23
Date	February 14, 2022 3:42 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ss0xxq/why_dont_ask_for_her_number/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-dont-ask-for-her-number.1266832 https://theredarchive.com/post/1266832

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