This is a bit of rant on how most dating advice being given to males always seems to contradict. I can give examples I've heard on here as well as in person. So here it goes

"Be yourself" followed by "change up a bit"

This one is quite vague, but I get the idea that you should never fake yourself if you are looking for something serious. When it comes to "changing up a bit" , I must admit I've never seen someone directly say that, I'm just using "changing up a bit" as an umbrella term for "change your wardrobe", "change your hobbies" , "change your lifestyle". But let me ask, if you should "be yourself" than why should you also switch up your lifestyle and interests? Aren't they what make you, you? If I am an introvert who enjoys partaking in solitary activities such as photography, reading, or just simply going for walks/car rides alone does that mean I have to ditch my interests/passions in order to meet someone? (Cause let's face it you're not gonna meet a woman if you enjoy doing things alone) yet if I switch up my lifestyle to a more extroverted and social one (even though it is mentally exhausting and taxing on my mental health) I might hit it off untill she finds out what I'm really like.

"Don't be nice/agreeable" followed by "don't be mean/insensitive"

Look I get it "iTs AlL aBoUt ThE mIdDlE gRoUnD" you shouldn't be a doormat and you also shouldn't be a complete asshole. What I often see though is that sometimes even making light-hearted jokes/banter/teasing can be such a turn off for some women that in a way you kinda have to be a nice guy around them, yet when you act nice she also gets turned off? What are we supposed to do here? Keep our mouths shut?

"Be mysterious/have the abundance mentality" followed by "make it known your interested"

This sorta ties into the latter contradiction, if you're too flirty and talkative she might get put off/annoyed therefore, less attracted. But if you keep yourself silent, mysterious, and aloof she might be more interested in "solving the mystery", but we all know that psychologically speaking, women aren't programmed to chase men so don't we kinda have to make our interest known? If I'm at a party and I have the hots for one of the girls what am I supposed to do? Stand around "looking uninterested" or make a move? Which one is it boys??

The next one is a big one for me, don't know how you guys feel about it

"Talk to them like they're your male friends" followed by "learn to talk to women"

Again the latter contradiction is quite vague, what Ive heard since I hit puberty is that if I want to be successful with women I have to talk with them like they are my male friends. Yet at the same time I have to be flirty and "build tension". Ok I get it, talking to them like.male friends is just that you can get over the "OMG ITS A GIRL WHAT DO I SAY" hurdle when it comes to dating. But then what?? You continue talking to them like they're dudes? Or you switch up and be all flirty? Again, which one is it boys??

"Don't show off" followed by "accentuate yourself"

This applies to allot of aspects of dating/attraction, whether it's looks, lifestyle or career goals. On one hand you should wear fitting clothes to show off your fitness progress, post photos of you doing your hobby on social media ever now and then, and spend your money from that sick raise you got on a new high end car... But you also shouldn't be posting shirtless selfies on social media, making your social media all about whatever you enjoy doing, or flex your cash/ possessions?? What the fuck do we do here? Keep our lifestyle to ourselves? What do we gotta do boys?

Look... I get it, "iTs AlL aBoUt ThE mIdDlE gRoUnD" but in my experience there is no middle ground. It's either too much of one contradiction or too much of the other. Obviously given the 3.5B women in the world that this is all subjective but so far from what I've seen the women in my life either view me as one or the other. Regardless off what advice I take I still always end up fucking up. I mean, why else have I resigned myself to the fact that I'm gonna die alone?

Rant concluded, have a nice day folks