I remember the moment, when I decided I would figure out my dating life. I was at a party, smoking some ganj, and I was sitting there, wanting to talk to the girl I really cared about. However, I was so in my head, and disconnected from the environment, there was no way I would be able to get her to want me. I felt my own desperation, and desire for the outcome. I knew that I wanted it too much, she knew it, everyone knew it. It was palpable. Well, later on that night, I had to sit and watch that girl make out with a guy right in front of me. It was heart breaking. How could this happen, I actually cared about her, I wanted what was best for her. NO, I wanted the same thing that guy wanted, I wanted to experience her, yes, I wanted what was best for her, but not before I got my fix. That is the truth of us. We want it, we need it, and yes, we can care for them at the same time. But why would I want to care for her is she isn't mine? It is hard wired in our DNA to be territorial, and to protect what is ours. In that moment, I decided I would figure it out. Well, it actually took another year before I took real action, in college, going out almost every night after studying and work, and then it took another about 6 months and ended up in a relationship, then that ended and I was more depressed than the beginning, then I had a stint of alcoholism, and was really in bad shape, but then, finally, I decided to take it for real. No booze, well not a lot of booze, no drugs, only some, and I was going out to work on my social skills. After about a year and a half, wild adventures galore, I found my dream girl, while she has her flaws, she loves me for me, wants to stick with me through thick and thin, and sees my perspective. But I had to decide that I would figure it out, because it sure wasn't easy, and a lot of nights I questioned why, but now, I know why. The feeling and knowing that I will always have someone to be with, and knowing that I can go anywhere anytime alone or not and make friends, is a feeling that is so freeing, and beautiful, and I want everyone to feel that. So please, even though everything is stacked against you, and our society will tell you the opposite, make the decision. Also if you want any help don't hesitate to reach out. Because I've been there.