Hello. I have been married for about 13 years, with my soon to be ex wife for about 18 years and we have one (1) child. To summarize something long - we did a temporary seperation last year, she had an affair (a legitimate real one, physical, emotional, sexual, was in love, etc) and hid it from me. We reconciled and in five short months she now wants a divorce.

I know that she has been emotionally distancing herself for a long time, so I'm not experiencing the shock most men do. I begged, pleaded, but caught myself and said, nope not this time did that last year, and told her I would file the paperwork (I tried marriage counseling, said I would do anything, etc) and that I wanted this done as fast as possible.

Ive been doing the gray rock method with her - short, professional and polite. She's upset because she is asking for absolutely absurd demands and won't be getting them, and is getting upset now about not seeing our daughter for long stretches.

I'm pretty self-aware, I knew the 50/50 parenting meant I wouldn't be seeing my daughter half the time, and I've accepted it.

I guess my question is, has anyone had a spouse that is dead set on divorce, constantly fantasies about it, asked for it multiple times, and then just appears completely befuddled at the fact that they will have to be an independent adult for the first time in their lives and actually have to work overtime, get a second job (like me), and their quality of life is going to change?

Thanks, partially curious, partially a vent session.

Side note: get a lawyer don't trust anyone. That almost backfired on me.