Hi everyone -

 

A repeated question we get on this sub is How Long To Wait To Have Sex With A New Guy

 

Our general rule of thumb is 1) after he has made a commitment if you are interested in a relationship or 2) after he has demonstrated value and investment in you for FWBs.

 

The general idea is to validate that a man is:

  • respectful of your time, body, and energy
  • is honest and of good character,
  • is willing to compensate you for the additional risk you take on as a woman by providing you with extra value - more on that here

 

Here’s My personal Quick & Dirty Rules at the moment:

 

Sex should take place

 

  1. After he’s agreed to an STD test ( you’re a HVW, who honors her sexual health)

  2. After you’ve had a bit of phone sex to outline the rules of the game and of pleasing you. Don’t just let it happen because this is one of those things that can go very badly if you don’t set certain boundaries upfront. Furthermore - if he tries to cross them later you know what kind of a-hole you’re dealing with.

  3. After he’s made an obvious attempt to impress you. Attempts to impress you could be he takes you somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, pays for an expensive date, etc. It should be an investment larger than just dinner and a movie. Scale it to what you guess is his overall salary. Unfortunately with men - before sex is your time of greatest leverage so if you don’t set the standard now, you won’t be able to raise it later - so milk it for all it’s worth.

  4. After you’ve said “no” to something and he’s graciously accepted it. It is very important to gauge his reaction To you setting limits - because if he is a boundary pushing asshole it could end up in your rape or sexual assault. It also weeds out RedPill assholes who try and bully women or fake “alphas”.

 

Optional - but something I’m gonna do:

 

  1. Push his sexual boundaries a little by telling him you just want oral sex. He’s got to show he’s invested in pleasing you before you are willing to please him, and demonstrate he has sexual self control.

 

Please post your own rules in the comments below! This thread will be beneficial to point to in the future when this question gets asked.