All this stuff happened not that long ago, when I was in the first couple years of my bachelor's degree.

During that time I met a lot of guys who called themselves "feminists" but really, they were just your regular, run-of-the-mill, covert misogynists who still wanted to have sex with feminists.

They would say stuff like:

"What? You never have sex on the first date? That is based on regressive, patriarchal gender roles. Clearly you have internalized misogyny."

"Seriously, you don't swallow cum? If you've never tried it before, how do you know you won't like it? That's just not very sex positive, you need to be more open minded."

"Wow I can't believe you actually care what other people think. It doesn't matter if people find out if we have sex, if they think badly of you then that's sl_t shaming which is wrong. I can't believe you of all people would perpetuate such sexist attitudes."

Basically, they claimed that if I'm not inviting every Tom, Dick and Harry into my bed, then I'm "nOt A rEaL FeMiNiSt!!!" Also... if I said anything even remotely critical of porn or prostitution, I would get accused of being hostile/condescending to sex workers.

It wasn't always as aggressive as this, sometimes it was actually quite passive: guys would just unquestioningly agree with anything feminist I said like "yeah yeah, whatever you say, I'll regurgitate whatever you want to hear if it means I get to smash." Pathetic.

At the time I was young, naive, I wanted to be seen as likeable and progressive. Whenever a guy said something like that to me, I was absolutely stunned. It threw me off and made me feel guilty for saying "no", which caused me to feel even more uneasy. Usually I would mutter some excuse and storm away red-faced and embarrassed. I wish I had the same knowledge and strength back then that I do now. If I did, I would have given them a piece of my mind. I mean really, the AUDACITY.

Nowadays, I am seeing the disturbing trend that more and more men are using this type of argumentation both online and in real life. We've all seen stuff like "lesbians who don't like girldick are transphobic TERFs" or "porn and prostitution is empowering to women! Anyone who says otherwise is a SWERF!"

Ladies, beware of men who call themselves feminists. It is a HUGE RED FLAG especially if they use feminist jargon to try and convince you to sleep with them, to sleep with them sooner than you're comfortable with, or to do sex acts you don't want to do. This is manipulative.

He is not truly motivated by fairness, justice, or equality for women. Rather, he is motivated by his penis and male entitlement and little else. Leave his presence, block, delete, go No Contact. Don't give men any further opportunities to manipulate you.