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GreenTeaPopcorn
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
"Man acting inhuman towards a woman"
"Have🤡you🎪tried🚽talking☠to🍆him?"
[–]Capable_OkraFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I hate that the question is always "have you tried communicating with him"... Maybe if someone is shouldering the uphill battle of recovery, the very least her partner can do is Google "how to support my partner with an ED"
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 24 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I've seen posts on the forum a few times where a woman who battles an eating disorder goes from severely underweight to only slightly underweight and her partner starts making comments about how fat she's getting. "I am starting to think my bf has a type, and he only likes me when my bones pop out".
And this happens even when the partner knows they're trying recovery.
The guy says "I support your recovery, but recovery isn't an excuse to let yourself go" to a girl who is still underweight, just not as underweight as she once was.
It's like these guys don't understand that you can't stop restrictive behaviors without also gaining some weight.
They want her mind to change and to stop the obsessive behavior around food, but they don't want the body to change or to give up the body that is a result of the obsessive behavior around food.
So now we have forum members who say "I've seen what my bf's exes looked like, they were all very skinny, close to emaciated even. Is this a red flag?" and then everyone in the comments tells them to run.
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's incredibly sick that they're so obsessed with women taking up as less space as possible in the world. Another thing that's sus it this apparent dislike for a healthy adult feminine body shape. We all know what a naturally thin woman looks like vs. an ill, emaciated one.
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think this is rooted in control because it's easier to control people with weak bodies, I've seen men write they prefer thin and frail girls because they can just pick them up and carry them around if they wanted to.
I also think this is rooted in the obsession with women's youth. If you starve yourself and shave your pubic hair you look more like a prepubescent girl. Your breasts get smaller, your curves get less pronounced, you lose your period and usually also your libido. As you starve yourself gradually traits that signify that this is an adult female body will diminish. There's not a lot of visual difference between an emaciated 25 year old's body and an emaciated 15 year old's body.
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
These are my thoughts exactly. Tbh, a lot of these women's shit excuses for boyfriends should probably be heavily monitored when interacting with teenagers.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have seen clinically obese men look their normal weight partner up and down if she gains even 3 pounds from being around him.
This is what happened between me and my first boyfriend. I was 17 and a healthy weight when we got together, he was somewhere in his mid twenties and quite obese (big round gut, looking like he was 15 months pregnant with quadruplets) and also ugly, balding but with a long ponytail, jobless and also not getting an education so he was doing nothing all day, he was living of the allowance his parents gave him. He looked like the comic book guy from the Simpsons, except that the comic book guy has a job.
We dated for at least 2 years, and within those two years I gained 5 kg at one point, still within my healthy weight range but I no longer had a flat tummy. Now he didn't say anything about it at that time, but after I had lost those 5 kg (not on purpose, it just happened) he said he was glad because he thought I had gotten awfully fat. I remember being so surprised at those words I did not say anything. I looked him in the eye with a "I'm not sure if you are joking" look. This guy was a weird mix of very affectionate and "nice", but also in hindsight didn't see me as a human being. This was in 2001 before the term "neckbeard" was coined afaik. He was a total neckbeard.
He told me "if you ever break up with me I will kill myself". Oh, and he ended up cheating on me somewhat later on. That was the end of the relationship. I've occasionally seen him in town afterwards. He has never lost enough weight to become a healthy weight, and has continued to cheat on his partners (at least 2 of them that I know of).
Typical LVM who has nothing to offer except for the audacity, and he thinks way too highly of himself.
Maybe a little TMI, but he also insisted on trying anal. Then when it stopped hurting for me he told me "You're not supposed to enjoy it". This was another time where I thought "Are you joking? Please tell me you are joking".
I also found drawn kiddy porn on his pc (I suppose they call it loli hentai). Later on it all clicked for me. I was still developing at age 17 (looking 15 at the time, a bit of a late bloomer), and didn't have an adult body until age 21 when I was no longer with him.
[–]ninetiesbaby16FDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I definitely believe this, when I was severely underweight the only men attracted to me were the most conniving, manipulative, cruel and sexually depraved people I’ve ever come across. I once asked one of them what type of porn they were into, he sent me a video of an extremely skinny emaciated girl (clearly anorexic) getting slammed repeatedly throat first onto a horizontally suspended thick metal chain by this huge guy...I did the slow fade on him...I’ve found being on the thicker side is a protective factor against narcs/abusers and weirdos.
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
he sent me a video of an extremely skinny emaciated girl (clearly anorexic) getting slammed repeatedly throat first onto a horizontally suspended thick metal chain by this huge guy
Yikes!
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THE EMOJIS
[–]pissed_afFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"You sit him down and tell him"
[–]thinkingaboutfrogsFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Are you fucking serious? “Have you tried telling your husband who obviously knows you are recovering from an eating disorder that it’s triggering when he tells you that your attempts to get healthy make his dick soft? Because he might not know that!!!” This shit makes me so mad. He OBVIOUSLY knows! He just doesn’t care at all about her health because her suffering to be skinny makes his dick hard and his dick is the most important thing of all!
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right, so we are supposed to believe that the “superior” sex that is smarter and more logical and deserves all the power ALSO isn’t even smart enough to figure out that it is bad to tell someone who struggles with an eating disorder that she’s ugly/fat? 🧐 nah men know exactly what they’re doing.
[–]SoulsaltsFDS Apprentice21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wowee. "Honey, I know you're struggling with a dangerous mental health condition, but couldn't you just undo all the progress you've worked so hard for, to make my dick a little happier, after which I'll probably abandon you anyway? What do you say, hun?"
[–]mightbethrowawayyyFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
hAvE yoU CommUniCAteD
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I found this on a eating disorder recovery forum I visit frequently. I wish I could say that posts like these were very rare.
I am glad I am single and I am glad I was single when I started recovery, because who would want something like that on top of everything else that's already going on.
[–]delicateearthbabeFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The best approach would be to get rid of that asshole of a husband.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Of course he realizes how upset his comments make her. THAT’S EXACTLY WHY HE SAYS THEM.
[–]lickyblickyuhhFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I’m currently dealing with this issue and I see posts like this pretty commonly on that forum. This is my worst fear. He doesn’t even remotely care that his girlfriend was killing herself
[–]naomii_loveFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
These type of men are drawn to women like us because of our level of self esteem, they think they can get away with being like this
[–]lickyblickyuhhFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re absolutely right. I deal with a horrible self esteem but when it comes to my relationship it’s different. As far as I’m concerned in the context of relationships, I’m a goddess. He will know if he treats me any less. This is the best strategy I have ever put in place for myself
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I hope that you will find as much support in the recovery forum (and the "sex and relationships" forum) as I encountered there. There are some people there that really care.
Thank you love ❤️🥺 I really appreciate it
[–]MaisiebrFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The best approach is kicking his ass.
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[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]Capable_OkraFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 24 points25 points26 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ninetiesbaby16FDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pissed_afFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thinkingaboutfrogsFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SoulsaltsFDS Apprentice21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mightbethrowawayyyFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]delicateearthbabeFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lickyblickyuhhFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]naomii_loveFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lickyblickyuhhFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lickyblickyuhhFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MaisiebrFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link