Dumped.. 😞

kantarra · 2020-08-17T15:40:19+00:00

I'm your age and I've never been in a relationship with a guy who treated me well either. Life gets better once you put all your energy into yourself. It hurts to be dumped, but ultimately they did you a favour. Honestly I believe it is better to be single for the rest of your life than to be with a guy that treats you like dirt. At least thats my takeaway. Hope you feel better soon, read the handbook, do whatever makes you feel good to distract yourself from the pain and it will be better soon! Hugs.

eveninghope · 2020-08-17T15:40:26+00:00

Directly address your codependency issues. It won't get better until you solve the source of the problem.

Rebirthed_Queen · 2020-08-17T15:44:19+00:00

Queen, take some time for yourself to heal and focus on investing your energy and resources into yourself instead of a partner. Make sure to block him on all platforms you can think of to cut him from your life entirely. Don’t let him come back in, and resist the urge to “see how he’s doing” on social media or online. Read over the handbook in your spare time; there are codependency resources in the FDS book list. You’re right: don’t think about men or dating at all right now. We’re here for you, queen.

understatedalways · 2020-08-17T17:29:23+00:00

You aren’t older than us. I’m a grandma at 35 then. 🤣 The guy you described had red flags all over the place. A complete low value man. You just need to use a better “picker” and not entertain idiots like that. I completely cut off men who even give off one red flag. There are always hundreds more lined up to prove their worth. Level up, know your worth, and cut them off if they act like trash.

lifedecisions2make · 2020-08-17T18:20:32+00:00

Thank you all for so much support and love ❤❤❤

Yes I am getting support for the codependency, I'm paying for DBT therapy (started last week) and attending an online support group for co-dependency.

The poster that said women are groomed from a young age to thing that being a status symbol is to be in a relationship is spot on.

Since finding your forum, I literally cringe when I see a movie, song or tv show that screams pickme, pickme

For those reading who maybe reading this; if they act like an asshole.... They are in fact an asshole. Period.

You can't change them, support them, talk to them, you're not their therapist, if they have 'issues' as an adult - they know and they don't care.

manisfestationqueen · 2020-08-17T15:48:19+00:00

Hey the best part of this is recognizing how it is not in alignment with you anymore. Like a radio station, your frequency has now changed. Not only are you in a different frequency, you will also attract others who are in higher frequencies. It's never too late. Keep purging all this pain, it is a process. I'm on the same page as you, I'm not interested in men or dating. I just use my time to work on myself, and attract someone similar, but I'm not looking or putting energy in looking. Just forgive yourself, the shame never helps. Heal from within and be glad how you can see that you've changed.

jayda92 · 2020-08-17T15:27:05+00:00

It gets better, no worries. Follow the handbook, be a strategic bad bitch and you'll be back on your feet in no time!

This is a minor setback, but you probably dodged a bullet. You're still young, hell, with FDS knowledge you can even get guys at grandma ages 😉

PhoenixRisingAsap · 2020-08-17T15:56:30+00:00

You should be thankful that he dumped you because sometimes we ourselves don’t do it despite so many red flags. Life will be better for you now. Good riddance.

DunRuther · 2020-08-18T03:18:18+00:00

Life only gets better from here, because now you’re learning what to look out for and avoid. Think about it—you’ll never have another LVM/NVM in your life ever again! That is so freeing!

I’m 33 and I’m in my first healthy relationship after a failed marriage and a failed long term relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months, and things have been great, but I know that I can pull the trigger at any moment and leave if I need to. I’d rather a temporary heartache than years wasted with the wrong person. And I’ve also come to the realization that I actually don’t need a man. If god forbid my relationship doesn’t work out, I intend on being single for a while. And this is the first time in my life I’ve felt this way. It feels so good, so freeing. You will get there too, and it will be sooner than you think.

sqqwuuuirtling · 2020-08-17T16:44:42+00:00

That list! Damn!!! You just dodged a bullet. I have also gone out with unrepentant assholes and dudes who say "I'm just being honest" before putting down other people or talking trash on your opinions. In the end snobs are just a different kind of bully. And it's exhausting to be around someone with a potty attitude who doesn't like talking. By your description he sounds like a handful and like you'd have to do a lot of mommying to have him be socially functional and not an alcoholic. Btw, 34 isn't old!!! I'm actually older and turn away tons of attention. I started dancing and doing gym stuff and my body was way stronger than it was when I was in my twenties. Also the 3X boyfriends and one ex-husband aren't that much! Especially in your 30s! Getting used to breaking up with people was one of the best lessons that I ever learned because it prevented me from giving people the benefit of the doubt when they did not have the same standards as me and we're not interested in exploring my needs in addition to theirs.

Title	Dumped.. 😞
Author	lifedecisions2make
Upvotes	26
Comments	13
Date	August 16, 2020 10:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ib1m9p/dumped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dumped.164608 https://theredarchive.com/post/164608

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