Thoughts on G.L Lambert? Relationship expert (@8plus9 on twitter)

2022-01-25T12:41:59+00:00

Advice is like a buffet, take what you want and leave the rest for someone else.

As a general rule I wouldn’t take dating advice from a man. They just don’t get it, you know? Like how he suggests women approaching men. We know that doesn’t work.

Maybe you can learn something from them, but I would scrutinize a man’s perspective much more harshly.

Africanaissues · 2022-01-25T20:31:02+00:00

With GL Lambert, what you have to do is eat the meat and throw away the bones. Unfortunately, a lot of his books tend to be very lean on the meat.

While I agree with him in that men are attracted to women that don't give a fuck about them and to be very particular about putting out, leveling up and making demands of men - if a man can't meet those standards, curb him, Lambert is a PUA. He wrote "Men Don't Love Women Like You" and something about thinking or acting like a Spartan, and then he wrote a book after that telling men how to finesse even these 'Spartan' women. I wouldn't take advice from a man that reduces women to offensive archetypes.

What I've learned is that men who write 'relationship advice' for women are doing so because they want to be able to take that advice and use it against that woman later, not because they're actually wanting anything better from her. Believe me when I say - they aren't telling their daughters that shit.

He writes for a very specific audience.

Madholley · 2022-01-25T14:07:55+00:00

I didn't have to read much to determine that he is a misogynist. He may say some of the right things but much like any NVM, the flags are there. His choice of language reveals a lot- in one of his top Twitter posts, he says that a man will ask you to meet him informally because "you're not worth the effort of planning a date." This is categorically false. Men do not determine our value, ever. A man may not plan a date because he is lazy, because he thinks other women will settle for his low effort, or yes because he perceives you as not worth the effort. But including the part about his perception is important. I can't imagine taking advice from a man who casually and comfortably uses languages that degrades women's value to what a man assigns them. If he really cared about women, he would check his language, hard. There are too many women authors who share these same tips for anyone to waste their time enriching and supporting a man who is comfortable talking like that. Gross. Run.

Carpedictum · 2022-01-25T20:54:58+00:00

He’s awful.

His whole schtick is that women should make themselves as appealing as possible for men so that hopefully they can become his prized and cherished possession.

It’s no different than fundamentalist ministers and it’s a load of horse shit.

He stumbles into the good advice that most men are sleazy and you shouldn’t let them be, but that’s happenstance.

It’s just another version of being a pick-me, it just happens to have some truth because men are disgusting and reverse psychology works on them.

goddessintheflesh · 2022-01-25T14:16:19+00:00

Also I remember the blog used to be free a year or so ago. Now he's charging. Like sir... we're already paying for your books. What more do you want? Lol.

dangereusefemme · 2022-01-25T16:56:40+00:00

I’ve been reading Lambert’s blog and books for a good long while now. It’s funny this came up, because just to check my progress as I vet, I purchased a month of his website. Man, I’ve moved so far beyond his offerings of advice— and most thankfully so. Let me begin by saying that while he does provide some critical insight into the male mind and other helpful pointers, there are some massive problems with his work. Firstly, despite him having a diverse audience his work is geared toward black women— many of whom are solely interested in dating black men. Now, as a black woman with deep insight to my community, I cannot stress enough that black men, moreover black relationships, are not traditional to say the least. Black men are not normal men. They do not fall into the category of healthy masculinity— they haven’t won a war in over 2,500 years and they own no resources or industries in the world, not even the African continent. So, to the point that Lambert makes for women approaching men, it’s because black men lack masculine integrity for the most part. They are failed, feminized, defeated men with a diva complex. A vast majority (77% in the USA) are absentee fathers. As a result, this causes black women to be operating without a compass…and so they turn to a guy like Lambert, who was born and raised to a single mother himself, in one of the most deplorable black ghettos in the county, Baltimore. No disrespect to that, but such a man is extremely limited in his scope of and practice of healthy masculinity from the outset. I’m quite sure that despite his assertions, he has a big investment in women, especially black women, not “getting it”. He’s making passive income off many black women’s “black love” desperation and insecurity. There are black women getting DOGGED THE FUCK OUT by black men and Lambert is lapping it up. Always accusing the female readers of being basic, insecure, passive aggressive, which may be true at times…but he hardly goes that hard on the male readers…about black men’s historical failures— which are vast, ancient and numerous and have impacted our race til this day and into the future. Black men’s expectations of black women, with Lambert being no exception, are astronomically high. They can’t be appeased. Furthermore, Lambert doesn’t really produce results. I’ve NEVER, EVER seen a picture of his clients engagement ring, wedding band, wedding announcement, nothing. A book like The Rules by Sherrie Schneider and Ellen Fein (a process I follow and generally believe in) has footage of their success stories on their social media pages. This is decent proof that their process works. Now, to his credit, I think the most salient of Lambert’s work is Ho Tactics…but again miss the part about approaching the man, it just doesn’t work. Know how I know, because when I used to email him for advice and told him about my attempt to approach, he told me I was desperate LOL. He can’t even stick to his suggested process, it appears. A good amount of Lambert’s urgings for women, especially black women is a setup for failure, and I can probably guarantee you that he is laughing at readers’ blunders when they report them to him. His work is truly a case of dealing with the devil, because the evil one will mix lies with the truth to confuse and disorient. I will cancel my prescription to his site as I have the tools I need with a couple more in reserve. Thank you.

preppykat3 · 2022-01-25T21:15:44+00:00

His books are cringey and I regret getting it lol

goddessintheflesh · 2022-01-25T14:13:09+00:00

Omg girl I'm so glad you brought this up. I'm nearly halfway into reading his book "Men don't love women like you" and I just couldn't take it seriously when I started getting to the part where he encourages women to approach men. He also mentions that only "basic bitches" wait for a man to approach them 💀 . On the contrary "Spartans" are confident women that boldly approach and make the first moves on men. What he describes as being a "Spartan" woman comes across as a masculine, alpha, desperate, pick me cool chick in my eyes.

I feel like what he labels as a Spartan woman will only be attractive to feminine men that wait around for women to take the lead. The author literally gives off that vibe of being a beta feminine man. I feel like he just wrote about the kind of woman HE as a feminine beta man loves. I very much doubt that masculine men that like to lead and take control would love the "spartan" type of woman. I feel like masculine alpha men would prefer some of the traits that he labels as being a "basic bitch" . At least the "basic bitch" is more in her femininity and not "boldly" pursuing men.

InformerOfDeer · 2022-01-25T13:47:07+00:00

It’s honestly kind of hilarious to me that men think they know more about dating as women than actual women do

blewunicorn · 2022-08-08T01:55:58+00:00

Because that's what keeps them in the game.

He tells us the truth about men's way of thinking which is ways very narcissistic when it comes to dating. He made the "placeholder" relationship a thing. You can now find on wiki "how to know you're in a placeholder relationship".

Majority of us know how to recognize a horn dog and dodge it early on its the men who play nice into figuring out how to use a woman who doesn't fall for hook-ups.

Title	Thoughts on G.L Lambert? Relationship expert (@8plus9 on twitter)
Author	Africanaissues
Upvotes	80
Comments	27
Date	January 25, 2022 11:25 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/scbjhy/thoughts_on_gl_lambert_relationship_expert_8plus9/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts-on-gl-lambert-relationship-expert-8plus9.1097647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097647

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