There is a hidden value judgement in the context of discussions.

The behavioral form is saying: "I want my partner to be X." But to me, there seems to be a big difference. It lies in the question if someone deserve his partner to be X. If think about it the answer seems to be wether you pay your dues to earn X.

Example: If I want my partner to be physically fit it seems obvious that I need to be physically fit in return.

The problem is that this is not a moral issue. There is not gender equality because genders are not the same. If you want a physical fit man as a women you have other dues to pay than a man. To make the definite case I present another example:

If you want a woman that let's you to stick your penis in her vagina, you have to bring something other to the table than allowing your woman to stick her penis in your vagina.

It sounds silly but shows quite clearly it is about giving X for earning X.

Many people seem to mistake what they truly bring to the table for ideological reasons.

Example 1: r/FemaleDatingStrategy

They claim:

It is totally ok to change your standards. If you did kinks with past men you can decide to wait with sex until marriage.

Yes, you can. This is called personal freedom. But what do you have to do to earn a partner that is going to accept this? If you ask men the answer is often: Not having a slutty history. That is why many men don't accept this if you tell them before they invested. And that is why men get upset if you tell them after they invested.

This is why men get irritated if their partner reveals a kinky sexual past after they accepted a more ordinary sex life. The women asks the men to bear the costs for their own right.

It is important to not confuse the right to do so, the moral aspect and the reality.

  1. You have the right to do so because nobody has the right (legaly) to force you.
  2. I hope we agree that you have the moral right to do so because you can do with your life what you want.
  3. But in reality, men don't want that. r/FemaleDatingStrategy would advice the woman to lie about their past. This is brings you from smoke to smother. You get what you want but built your relationship on lie and deceit.

This is why men think that those women are entitled.

Example 2 r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/

The often call out the "Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks"-theme. A common phrase seem to be: "giving tingles".

Basic advice for both men and women is to flirt with your partner not only in the beginning but through out the whole span of your relationship.

So, is the Beta entitled to a women in her prime? The answer is no. To earn a women in her prime you have to "give her the tingles". A stable job and not taking drugs is not it. "Tingles" mean that a woman is crazy for you. That is something you need to earn. And in my opinion, that is something that is needed to keep a woman satisfied in a relationship.

Women think guys from r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/ are entitled because they think that they are losers who demand something that they didn't pay with the right currency for.

Difference between entitlement and standards

Entitlement is basically the self-identification with being a high-value person. You decide that you have value, but the people who you want to want you don't think that. You can't make them and shouldn't. To demand that people like X is pure arrogance.

The ressentment towards subs like redpill and FDS is the emotional mirror of that judgement.

Standards arise more naturally. You create an offer and the other can take it or leave it.

Example: If you offer a career, ambitions and being dominant you get women as a man but as a woman it is more of a deterrent. If you offer submissiveness, breasts and giggling you get men as a women but as a man it is more of a deterrent.

Practical implications

  1. If you get approached by low value men (that you deem to be low value) a lot and high value men do not want you, you are most likely a low value woman yourself.
  2. If women play their games with you, make you wait for sex and similar stuff, you are most likely a low value man.
  3. If you want to have standards you need to focus on self-development. The direction of this development will be judged by the hypothetical partner you want not by yourself.
  4. Do not think that you know what the other gender wants. Let your success be your guide. If you don't get what you want you are wrong. (Which is ok because we are human).
  5. Listen to people that are successful and are proven to be successful. There are a lot of people who think they're right but are wrong because they are to arrogant to submit themselves to reality.

Additional thoughts on the impossible standards

Men complain that they have to be the breadwinner, be muscular, tall, dominant etc. but be sensitive, good listeners, tender nice etc. on the other side. You should be able to talk about your feelings but don't get to whine. You have to be career-focused but at the same time be a good dad.

Women complain that they have to be always good looking, fit, not to dominant, be good mothers but still don't have any signs of stress, should be whores in beds but virgins in public etc.

Those are just ideals. If you strive for them you'll be suprised on how good the feedback will be. I know quite many people that seem to be those ideals. Entrepreneurs that do crossfit and are great dads. Mothers in great shape, doing most of the housework and are happy and supportive. Ambitious people that are family-oriented at the same time. The common trait is that they work a lot. They don't watch TV or play computer games. Instead, they wake up early and better their life.

Both men and women in the western world seem quite lazy to me. And you reap what you sow.