Bf out of my league. Need opinions

romanticwetfart · 2019-05-19T01:33:42+00:00

Stop hamstering. You offer something different from a lot of other just by having taken the black pill. Physical attraction is important but a man is going to "keep" you based on the value you add to his life. If your bf prefers RP women a 11/10 radfem model isn't going to be able to compare to you. We emphasize looks here but there is something to be said for raw compatibility.

He probably thinks you're the hottest woman alive tbh. You shouldn't worry too much, you snagged him by being you, just keep working on being your best self.

just_a_mum · 2019-05-19T03:30:54+00:00

Your man is telling you that he loves you and find you sexy. Do you not trust him?

These feelings of self doubt are rooted in your feelings of self worth. Let me tell you something, you ARE worth the affections of that gorgeous man on your arm. He WANTS to be your Captain, so trust him. Continue to be the best you can be and continue to bring the best out of him.

He can't keep his hands off you because he finds you sexy and you clearly have no problems catering to his needs in the bedroom. He tells you he loves you because he does love you. He tells you multiple times a day because he realizes that some days toy need that and he's a good man. Who loves you because of who you are.

Part of self care is mind as well as body, don't let self doubt affect your relationship. He chose you, trust in his decision.

AnUglyChick · 2019-05-19T01:22:16+00:00

Looks are incredibly subjective. I've had one guy tell me that I need a nose job, another guy who is better looking say that my nose makes me unique and beautiful. I've had a alpha tell me that I don't need to work out because I'm perfect, another alpha say that I am too skinny fat and need to hit the gym. I could go on, everyone is so different in what they feel is feminine and attractive. You may not be mainstream pretty for your current region but again, not everyone is attracted to the same cookie cut idea of beauty. I have seen someone with facial burns have so much light and positivity and charm and kindness in her eyes that you really cannot stay focused on the burns and then you actually forget that they are there and that changed my perception a lot. Because I have seen women who are by all standards a gorgeous 10 and they are reduced to a 3 when their terrible personalities spill out of their mouths.

washington_breadstix · 2019-05-19T03:31:19+00:00

If you've managed relationships with guys who are truly as you describe them, then you may just be hotter than you realize.

teaandtalk · 2019-05-19T01:37:44+00:00

So this is 'dread'. The feeling that your man could go out and get someone better than you. No, your relationship isn't doomed...but you need to be realistic (which you have) and use your feelings of insecurity as motivation to change/improve.

What makes you a 7 on a good day? Could you be a 7 most days with a little more effort?

bloobird08 · 2019-05-19T06:52:08+00:00

Well you said you are thick, I don’t want to be vulgar but to prove a point: thick women that aren’t fat are usually seen as very attractive by most men when they’re nude because they tend to have good assets (T and A). Also facial beauty and body proportions are way more important than being tall. Tall height is masculine so if anything, guys like shorter women better. You might be in his league but you just have low self esteem, especially since you’ve dated equally attractive men in the past. Also, how do you dress? Because guys approach slutty looking women more, no matter their SMV; so don’t judge your looks based on how much you’re approached. some woman with an average face wearing shorts that barely cover her flat butt and a sheer tank top will get hit on a lot then thinks “oh I’m beautiful” ehh.. not necessarily, the men that hit on her are responding to the skin she’s showing, not her beauty.

Amonette2012 · 2019-05-19T08:38:15+00:00

I rarely comment here because I think my mindset kind of crosses over with some stuff here but not everything, but I can share a little of my experience with something similar.

I am happily married (almost 3 years) to a man who in terms of real-world achievement, is ahead of me by like a mile. Partly because he's older, partly because I had a career change and he's got a heck of a head start on me. When we met I was overweight but losing (injury weight, all gone now thanks to husband teaching me how to use a gym).

Firstly, accept that he loves you. You're being negative towards yourself for some reason, but the evidence suggests that you're attractive, likeable and together enough to be considered as a life partner.

Look at your differences. In our relationship I find that we have different skillsets, and over time we've naturally taken on different things. I sort out birthday presents, he sorts out taxes. I make sure he remembers appointments, he reminds me to take my vitamins. He's taught me about stocks to the point where my little portfolio is doing well enough to be proud of, and recently he even made a bit off a tip I dug up.

It's ok to not be equal in every way. It's a partnership; if you were good at the same things you'd just compete over everything. Having different skills and abilities is good.

He sounds really nice. I'd go for it and just try to stay in a positive mindframe while being your best self.

__Some_person__ · 2019-05-19T06:30:48+00:00

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clitorophagy · 2019-05-19T10:57:29+00:00

Don't say a thing to him. Just be as awesome as you can and be grateful. Looks aren't everything, personality and nice boobs go a long way. Confidence is attractive, keep your dread to to yourself

Guywithgirlwithabike · 2019-05-19T03:06:32+00:00

You mentioned a lot about what he is your point of view, but not much about how you may appear to him besides looks.

Are you kind to him? Do you treat him with respect? Do you act entitled, or do you make it apparent that you appreciate him? How about all of the positive aspects of female character mentioned in the sidebar? Do you shine there?

Because those things are sadly in short supply these days, and he may be pragmatic enough to realize it.

Read through the sidebar fully if you haven't already. Then, as an experiment, create a fake male Tinder profile and get a look at your "competition". You might discover some advantages you didn't realize you had.

st_steady · 2019-05-19T07:33:48+00:00

i feel like there is something unhealthy about thinking this way but i cant put my finger on it. i feel like you almost objectify yourself and your partner in an abstract way (through the use of ratings and symbols). i think its just insecurity.

if its meant to be, its meant to be. if you guys are right for each other, you'll both know. but i dont think its here.

baci_baby · 2019-05-19T12:28:22+00:00

so instead of thinking its doomed, put that dread energy to good use. work out more, eat better, take care of your skin. do things that make you feel more confident physically.

Asmaraniya · 2019-05-21T07:37:50+00:00

My mom always told me to lose weight because I wasn't a size 0(her body shape). My husband said that the first thing he noticed about me was my ass to waist ratio(my grandmother is Venezuelan).

Don't ruin a great relationship because you have all these thoughts of self doubt . You are giving him something a girl who might be prettier than you can't .

LateralThinker13 · 2019-05-22T18:15:47+00:00

Your first paragraph suggests that you fixate on physical appearance. BP men fixate on appearance; while it's important, to really keep a man happy in RP world you need social skills. Personality.

Being DTF is a big plus. Frigidity is a good way to drive away your man. That it's really good chemistry between you is nothing to scoff at.

That he wants the white picket fence is even better - that suggests he isn't an alpha cruising for plates.

Still when I look at the mirror I can't help but feel like I'm on borrowed time. How is it possible that such a natural alpha bucks could be in love with a woman like me?

And there's the insecure hamster. What you haven't mentioned is what you do for him beyond sex/looks. You're looking at it from a male dating perspective; but what do you offer him from a female RPW one? How do you treat him outside the bedroom? In public? Are you kind? Respectful? Loving? Submissive? What makes you an RPW and a match for him?

Ask him the next time he mentions kids and marriage. "You want kids and marriage. What do you see when you imagine us married with kids? Paint me a picture." Then ask him to describe how you and he look, how the house is, what a day in the life looks like, everything. You'll see an interesting picture of him projecting your current persona forward in time. I suspect that you'll get a few (pleasant) surprises.

IreneCarter92 · 2019-05-22T20:35:25+00:00

Men like Youthfulness, not youth. You may not have the perfect body but your spirit is the one he cherishes. This is coming from personal experience. I used to be a model. A lot us women in the industry buy into the fantasy land bullshit (more so with the introduction of Instagram). We tend to develop up an ego because we know we are hot. Hence most models hence don't develop a good personality. Or have nothing to offer outside their body. They all want sugar daddies to take care of them.

This question also came up with my own relationship. He said "if you didn't have a good personality, you would have ended up as another one in my booty call list".

dalismeltedcock · 2019-05-19T06:57:51+00:00

Is this a weird humble brag?

craftybird9 · 2019-05-19T10:52:14+00:00

He sounds like a keeper! Rejoice in the fact that he thinks a lot of you!

fancy_butt · 2019-05-22T18:49:01+00:00

I do have a fun personality, I am very sweet, affectionate and loyal and am reasonably smart and very well read and educated

He is the sweetest man, great job, great dresser, he's just amazing. And somehow, he worships me. He is extremely affectionate and expresses his love to me multiple times a day

The sex is phenomenal. We cannot get enough of each other.

"""And then my brain starts conjuring up all these scenarios"""

/u/romanticwetfart, this guy legitimately enjoys you. he enjoys you. he expresses his love to you. he brings up children. he wants to be around you. the sex is phenomenal, he enjoys you, he expresses his love to you.

flip the switch in your head, and only focus on what you can control. find out what else he likes and wants, and provide that for him.

just relax, and be happy. easier said than done, but I believe in you

[deleted] · 2019-05-19T04:19:06+00:00

How tall are you? Sometimes that's a factor.

gmkost · 2019-05-19T09:20:46+00:00

Girl. Kinda in the same boat. However this time I KNOW I deserve this one. Regardless of him being out of league or whatever it is. YOU deserve him. Don’t put the bad energy out there. Don’t manifest it into something it’s not. You are happy, he is happy. Be happy.

mrmaldoror · 2019-05-20T05:51:43+00:00

If he is a lot better looking then

- you need to lose weight

- sex on command

- allow him to sleep with other women on occasion

My good looking friend got locked down by an average girl but she did the above three things and he agreed to stick around.

Title	Bf out of my league. Need opinions
Author	romanticwetfart
Upvotes	59
Comments	43
Date	May 19, 2019 12:54 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/bqb3sn/bf_out_of_my_league_need_opinions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/bf-out-of-my-league-need-opinions.238881 https://theredarchive.com/post/238881

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