Valentine's Effect

Neo-ReactionaryHarry · 2015-02-13T05:29:00+00:00

A plate is always a temporary state of being, the time is the variable, don't sweat it.

DesertFox1986 · 2015-02-13T05:23:10+00:00

The Valentine effect that you speak of is really just the nature of Women to compare themselves to the other Women around them. If their friends are rich, married, have a big rock on their finger, have expensive vacations, kids, fake tits, luxury cars, you name it, they will want those things too. The man matters less than whatever material shit he provides and she will drop you like a bad habit if you don't give her what she wants. Either that or nag you until you give in and buy her whatever she wants. Men can be materialistic too but we provide those things for ourselves, we don't expect our woman to get it for us.

SkorchZang · 2015-02-13T05:23:47+00:00

From the way you describe how she positions herself through these events, I'd say it was already a done deal no matter what your response might be.

In other words, feeling 90% sure here that "I want a relationship" was more being used as an excuse, a label for your dismissal. If you had agreed to exclusivity, something else would then come up and still lead to the same outcome. In situations like that it's great to be incredibly supportive and act happy to see her leave "to pursue her dream", sowing the seeds of doubt in her ego. Bargaining trying to keep her around always leads to emasculation. Always.

Good riddance and nice job, it sounds like the woman's is being set free into the wild better than you'd found her, grateful for the experience of having met and known you.

Kloohorn · 2015-02-13T06:03:10+00:00

They're called plates for a reason, when one falls, you put a new one in its place. They're not meant to be permanent. Don't sweat it.

BorMato · 2015-02-13T05:17:55+00:00

I'd say it is a thing.

Chicks want what other chicks have so it's only natural that during a holiday that celebrates couples that those who are not in exclusive relationships are envious of them.

chadee · 2015-02-13T06:58:52+00:00

Statistically, Valentine's day has more break ups than any day of the year. So you're definitely barking up the right tree.

MrHoman · 2015-02-13T06:01:31+00:00

Similar thing happened to me. Plate had been piping about how she really wants a boyfriend for a couple weeks all while we are casually fucking. The chick is a giant slut so I knew she was ploughing through other guys too, no way in hell was I going to commit. Eventually she dropped, 'you only like for me sex.' To which I agreed. Needless to say I haven't seen or heard from here in 2 weeks but she suddenly has a 'boyfriend' in the form of her beta orbiter right before Valentine's day.

Oh well OP, they are just girls. There is seriously too many of them out there to fret about one disappearing.

Pm_MeyourManBoobs · 2015-02-13T11:44:51+00:00

Hold frame! Do not call or text! She will most likely be back...but only if you don't contact. If you pick up the phone, you lose. This is the biggest shit test and your doing well so far, but don't contact her! She is making a power play to see what your value is worth.

BowlOfCandy · 2015-02-13T06:42:10+00:00

I tried to play the card of how she is really cool to hang out with and I'd love to keep seeing her (but definitely not in a supplicating way, more like "you're really cool, I clearly love spending time with you, which is why I asked you to hang out this weekend, and why we've been hanging out for months; but it's your choice to keep seeing me or not"); and how I don't want to enter a relationship because of how I was in two long relationship back-to-back (true) and how my last girlfriend broke my heart (true) and now I need time to recover from both things with a cool casual arrangement with a cool person like her. Neither strategy worked, she was even willing to wait for me to be ready for a relationship (which is crazy, and she would have been riding other cock within a week or two anyway)

You can't logic a woman, you're approaching this situation with your hamster in full motion. You have to play into her emotions: the reason you guys aren't together is her fault, i.e. she hasn't inspired you yet. Quit beating around the bush about previous relationships and embellishing the current situation about how cool and casual it is. If you wanted a relationship with this chick you would be in one, but you don't.

Two things will happen: you are honest about your desires (note: women desire men's desire), and that will indirectly manipulate her. This whole ultimatum was a shit test, and you failed.

Whatever a woman says, assume it to be meaningless (as in, no it isn't definitive that she will no longer be your plate). They are feeling-oriented creatures that are heavily influenced by recent events and their immediate surroundings.

Carry on my brother, focus on improving yourself. She may come back, or another woman will sense the power of your journey and want to be a part of it.

TRP_Wingfoot · 2015-02-13T05:24:57+00:00

I'm curious as well as to what's going to happen with my main plate for the weekend. I have a date set up for Friday night, and my main plate will be working, but I have hockey tickets and "no one to go with". So I guess what happens, happens, right?

ahvbx3 · 2015-02-13T09:47:52+00:00

I don't get why everyone got so upset and why so many words were spoken. I'll advise you to not engage too deeply in these kinds of dialogues. If they come up, you usually say a few words, like, "oh, uhh, ok. Well, I gotta get going right now, but I'll get back to you later for sure".

Then you never get back to them. Some time passes by and things naturally sort themselves out. Maybe she actually did want a relationship with you and is hurt you didn't call her, and subsequently parts ways with you, which is great. If she sends barrages of messages doing that desperate clingy bs, ignore her. Block her ass permanently.

On the other hand, maybe she was bluffing, and just wanted to throw a shit test your way to see how you respond. My response would be to gtfo there and maintain radio silence. If she called me back again for sex, cool, I'm there. That's it. Simple. It's about what you want. Don't ever explain yourself to them, but don't string them along either. That's not cool.

SekretSkwirrel · 2015-02-13T08:19:11+00:00

I watched this Todd Valentine video a few months ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SNGJjmlYjE

It speaks to directly what you are talking about here, and shows exactly how you could have dealt with it. I spent a few minutes of my time finding it for you, and so would appreciate your feedback if you find it helpful. Good luck!

Doomsday_ · 2015-02-13T16:34:01+00:00

You did the right thing in sticking to your guns and refusing to agree to exclusivity with this chick. I can't see when such an agreement would ever be to the man's advantage.

But you failed in a number of respects:

1) As you said, you should have been seeing other women. Remember poon commandment VII: Always keep two in the kitty. Also, poon commandment II: Make her jealous.

Neither strategy worked

2) Your paraphrase of your discussion with her makes it sounds like you were too supplicating. You approached it like a negotiation. You should never approach anything with women like a negotiation (the second you start negotiating/reasoning is the second you've lost). You don't have to justify or explain yourself to her. You can just tell her you like (don't see why you felt the need to say love) spending time with her but don't want exclusivity and leave it at that. No justification is necessary.

3) Your paraphrase also suggests that you showed her how you really wanted her to stay. You should have remained more outcome independent, to keep her wondering how much you really wanted her (poon commandment VI)

4) You should accept right off the bat that any non-exclusive relationship is time limited. Eventually she will LSNFTE (Long soft next for temporary exclusivity), or, if she's cheating with you, get bored/scared and break it off, or find another newer, more exciting cock. Remember poon commandment XVI: Never be afraid to lose her.

RedPillProphet · 2015-02-14T02:28:00+00:00

Kind of off topic but this sentence caught my eye:

I hate being the one in the "doing the hurting" seat, I wish I could make everyone in the world happy

I 100% resonate with that sentiment and personally admire it but it is very conductive towards beta behavior. Being too considerate is taken as a sign of weakness by people, and some (especially women) maliciously start exploiting it.

The_Americano · 2015-02-14T15:15:18+00:00

Too many feelz in this post.

Jacks_bleeding_heart · 2015-02-13T12:17:47+00:00

The fuck is wrong with you? You obviously want a relationship with this girl, and she does too, and you're letting her slip because of some half-baked ideas about how an alpha should act.

You're couching it in TRP terms, like "men are the gatekeepers of commitment", but do you really want to be a guard, standing alone at the gates of Relationship, or do you want to live your life? Trying to spin your sadness over the end of the relationship as altruism was a nice touch.

Just remember, when you're counting all that TRP has done for you, good or bad, that it made you sacrifice a relationship with a girl you really liked.

WakeUpAlreadyDude · 2015-02-13T12:30:04+00:00

I love this statement: Men are the gatekeepers of commitment.

Thank you

sealteamaus · 2015-02-13T12:53:02+00:00

in a way youre not weak if youre hurt - your brain releases oxytocin which makes you want to be her provider... but on the other hand youre a fuckin pussy and you need to harden the fuck up #toughlove

fordmarkII · 2015-02-13T13:35:45+00:00

My situation is interesting so far. Told a girl I want to take her out and she immediately agreed. Later during text "Hi fordmarkII, I hope you didn't ask me out just because its valentine's day!"

I wasn't aware of that at all, hehe.

Seeing her for dinner tomorrow, on Valenfuckintine's, and that was her idea. My plan was the day after.

I think these days are bullshit. Live like you're lost in time.

BRENDORVEGAS · 2015-02-13T15:02:28+00:00

TLDR: You win some, you lose some.

thenarrrowpath · 2015-02-13T19:34:00+00:00

I commend you good sir! It hasn't happened to me yet, that is, a plate telling me she wants an upgrade. I think its easier when they just ghost you. Good job for sticking to your guns and not agreeing to being exclusive. I don't want that day to come myself, but I will be prepared. Thanks for sharing.

BurnYourFlag · 2015-02-14T02:04:12+00:00

My current plate tried to next me by saying I have a boyfriend now, I just typed back so. And she was over 2 days later having sex with me. Sry op but u fucked up if a woman tries to force a commitment from you she must think you have no other options. The only way to respond to this shit test is to appear completly unphased and uncaring. She will think that you have other options and attempt to get back with you. Don't offer any excuse or make any attempt to keep her. That will push her away because it suggest dependency

scubar · 2015-02-15T13:46:41+00:00

I think I just lost my main plate to the V effect. I've deflected relationship questions well for the last two months I've been banging her but I feel like she hamstered really hard and got some tinderomeo for V day. I was looking to drop her since she was throwing red flags and this is the perfect opportunity!

Title	Valentine's Effect
Author	AlfalfaStemlord
Upvotes	54
Comments	52
Date	February 13, 2015 4:50 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2vqgzt/valentines_effect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/valentines-effect.29084 https://theredarchive.com/post/29084

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