Similar to a woman, I was born, I didn't have to become.

I am over 6'3" (1.91), athletic, intelligent, and have an attractive facial structure. When I walk into a room, everyone notices.

I'm also cultured, educated, confident, driven, interesting, inspiring, and socially aware. When I have conversations with people, they glow. I've always had my pick of women, and even in my 30s now get with ladies in their early 20s.

I am the youngest from a family of strong male and female personalities who have always looked out for me and had my back.

Life has been easy for me; I've coasted through the elite levels of everything I do, from sports to academia, and in my profession.

The result of all this has made me weak and soft.

Something tipped me off to this when I was in my mid-20s: I was out at a new year's eve party with a teammate after a game. He's a similar build to me, maybe a little thicker, but definitely uglier, yet not ugly, and comes from a difficult family background, including war in his home country.

We were both chatting up this hot woman at the party, thick in the right places and mature, the kind of woman who knows what she wants (getting dug out). I thought I had it in the bag, she was pretty educated and we had some common interests. She gave me a look that said, "you're cute, but I'm going with him," as they walked out together. He grinned at me as to say, "did you really think you'd win?"

He respected me, but he never saw me as a threat.

I realized that he had an edge I didn't have.

There have been other times I've noticed something similar, when I meet someone over the phone, for example job interviews, something they always say when they see me is, "I didn't realize you were so tall/big." And when I am unable to meet them in person, they think I'm weak since I rely on my physical frame to assert myself.

I've had coaches tell me, "I didn't realize you were such a fierce competitor."

I give off soft vibes. I've never had to posture or compete in domains where I knew I was at a disadvantage.

The result is that establishing dominance and asserting myself are skills I've never developed.

I find it difficult to yell at people and often seek to avoid and de-escalate confrontation rather than steam-roll other people. I can be a little too much of a people-pleaser, because honestly, I can handle inconveniencing myself. I think this is how I've tried to display strength instead of making others submit to my will.

Since I was in highly competitive sports, I've interacted with lots of "alphas," some fake and some real. All had their insecurities, but knew how to barrel through. Some sought confrontation with others as a way to assert themselves, others just smirked and gave off that, "you aren't even worth it" vibe.

I wish I had learned about the RP and these social dynamics earlier in life because it would have given me a framework to analyze my observations.

But it's never too late. How can I get an edge? How can I shed the lil' bro vibes and become a man? How can I challenge myself to be stronger?

I've noticed that real strong men have a paternal/guidance vibe towards me, while the insecure, wannabe "alphas" have more of a "he ain't shit" vibe towards me.

I need to command more respect for who I am, rather than being a respectable guy.

Any advice would be appreciated.