All,

Here's a quick update. I appreciate all the advice. Original post

I think this was a prolonged shitty comfort test vs a main event. Here's why.

I distanced myself from her all day Thursday. She was still in a bad mood but opened up. She's very insecure and feels that she's not necessary anymore. She made the comment that all I needed was hookers and a maid. I laid out what I wanted from life and want her to be come along. u/Throndor_Rising and u/ChokingDownRP advised that she need comfort and reassurance that she's part of the plan. As soon as I laid this down very directly (something like "I would like you to be in my life, but not blowing up and being this bitchy about everything") - her demeanor changed. She still was a bit distant yesterday, but moved everything back into our bedroom and started wearing her ring again. I grabbed her this morning in a big hug and she melted into me. It's almost like nothing happened.

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I did take /u/red-sfpplus advice here:

If she spends tonight in the Guest room that is fine but tomorrow I would communicate that husband and wife sleep together in the same bed and that is an expectation not a request.

Her initial response was "I don't feel like your wife right now". But at the end of the day she was sleeping back with me in the same bed.

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My lesson and part in all this is that she needs more comfort and reassurance. I've been so worry about becoming the supplicating needy whiny faggot I was, I have given next to no comfort to her. Some comments here and there but nothing that really made her FEEL it. I also need to lead her and give her supporting tasks and goals as part of my mission.

I realized from others' comments that this could be related to my son's death. Which makes perfect sense since this is the worst time of year for us (he got sick late Jan and died end of March).

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