One-itis is trash

ImpossibleBritches · 2025-04-30T01:42:14+00:00

Disagree.

Hope and disappointment teach you what you want.

Fuck the psychopathological garbage advice that tells you to numb your heart.

The more experience and skill, the more you'll become detached to outcome.

But if you shape yourself to be heartless then you'll attract women who like heartless men. How does that fit into your vision for your life?

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-04-30T03:19:29+00:00

You’ve probably heard “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” as a sound investment advice. It’s pretty much the same with dating and relationship. Oneitis is basically that: putting all your eggs in 1 basket.

You can either do rotation and invest in other girls, or even if you only have 1 girl: then don’t get invested/catch feelings too early. Guard your heart. Be honest with yourself: you only knew her in a short time, so she’s still technically a stranger. Don’t act as if you’ve been exclusively together for years. But if you asked me which one is more practical: the former one by far.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-04-30T12:09:28+00:00

I don’t act needy

Oh, 100%, you do.

The issue with 'one-itis' is that you're completely absorbed by yourself and your own interests, so you have little to offer. It's using your energy to 'navigate threats' (ego), not using your energy to be expressive and enjoy yourself. Your lack of genuine enthusiasm is 'the neediness'.

As someone else said, it's good not to succeed in this state of mind. You don't want to be rewarded for being anxious, judgmental, self-concerned, filtering, comparing, etc. That would mean you're allowed to stay there, feel content with feeling like shit; feeling uncomfortable, tense, feeling you have to walk on eggshells to maintain her attention.

You want to be rewarded, forced, into letting go and having a good time. You must learn to be in a situation, relaxed, calm, loose, for the sole purpose of freeing up your resources to be charismatic, have enthusiasm, be fun, enjoy yourself, get results.

Again, you can't do two things at once. You can't be thinking about 'what does she think of me' and be fun; you can't be 'low status' (low self-esteem) and questioning yourself while embodying traits that show you don't do that (high status, high self-esteem). You can't feel like shit yet present something good.

The bar isn't that high, it's not that complicated, it's not anything that you couldn't learn to do. However, you can't present a product in an uncompelling way and 'hope' they buy it anyway; that ain't sales.

Glacier_Sama · 2025-04-30T01:36:33+00:00

Stack those dates up. Talk to so many women that you have 3 dates per week. Stop moving slow and move fast. Bed them as quickly as possible, even skip the date if you can.

CrazyRepulsive8244 · 2025-04-30T01:47:31+00:00

Its best to be talking to 2-3 women at once to prevent this. Works for me.

number2chevyfan · 2025-05-01T18:23:57+00:00

I been there, like recently. Lots of lessons learned. I mean i had a great date then back to her place for drinking and sex and all was good even after i left. I ruined my chances for myself by getting too needy/attached in text before i could get with her again. I was in your situation, small town, rarely dates, maybe 1 every 3 months. I got into a college town and learned from my mistakes, improved text game, just this last tuesday i had two dates. Just keep learning your lessons. Failures with women teach me so much.

KongWick · 2025-05-07T04:03:35+00:00

I totally understand, and have been there. And will be there again.

Just have to move forward.

Girls often put on a show, and will deny you after date even if you F-closed or had her on top of you in the car.

It’s because of scarcity mindset. Need to have abundance mindset.

And also work on personal goals.

Title	One-itis is trash
Author	jst2postdis
Upvotes	49
Comments	42
Date	April 30, 2025 1:15 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kb4e22/oneitis_is_trash/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/one-itis-is-trash.1551007 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551007

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