Random "hey" texts messages girls you're pursuing. What do they mean and how do you approach them?

mehdika · 2014-07-24T16:16:08+00:00

She's just making herself feel better by texting people she knows will text her back to boost her self esteem by asking her to go on a date.

Shakedown_1979 · 2014-07-24T17:36:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

im_not_sane · 2014-07-24T14:45:24+00:00

Here's the cold hard truth. You'll never really know why because it could be any number of a million different reasons, all you need to know is in that moment she felt compelled to text you. You just need to decide whether you want to talk to her or not and don't worry about her reasons.

I personally respond with stuff like "Hey, what's up." See where it goes from there. I don't know that I would have asked her when we were "finally" going on a date, probably would have asked her what night she was free and then just told her to meet me somewhere at sometime on that night.

If she flaked again or didn't have a legit reason to flake in the first place I'd move on, plenty of great women out there.

sloshslapper · 2014-07-24T15:26:22+00:00

It means she was thinking about you. In what capacity... you do not know, but if your goal is attracting her you should assume she was thinking about you in that capacity and proceed with that in mind.

jman4220 · 2014-07-24T14:41:05+00:00

She's probably just hitting you up. People do that when you're in and around their life in any aspect.

2014-07-24T16:32:48+00:00

I find that less is more when it comes to texting. If it's a simple "hey" I generally ignore it. If it's a question, I'll answer briefly and if it's a conversation starter I'd go with "I'm busy now, We can talk tonight over dinner/at my place/whatever."

But in this specific case, I probably would have gone with something like "Terrible... worst apology for bailing ever, but you can make it up to me at Dinner/my place/whatever." Maybe it's legitimate bad luck, flaking once, whatever, it happens... If it happens a second time, I'm not going to wast my time making plans for someone who's unreliable.

My rule of thumb is texting is great for confirmation, questions or short statements. Actual conversations for face to face encounters. Not only do you stick out (since this is incredibly uncommon these days), but it also gives her a reason to want to hang out with you, knowing that your attention isn't going to be on your phone.

Cali_Val · 2014-07-24T16:54:12+00:00

I get a shitton of those, sometimes I ignore the one's I really don't care about, but the one's im interested, jjust reply hey whats up?

or something.

usually they say something like "oh im just doing blah blah, you?" which just means they're bored and need someone fun.

so be that fun guy! make her laugh, but stay busy.

it always ends up in a date later that day. UNLESS they're at work or I will be

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2014-07-24T17:51:01+00:00

I always take it as a flattering combination of "I'm thinking of you" mixed with "I need attention". My SO's do that a lot.

kingjerksupreme · 2014-07-24T18:11:57+00:00

This is a good thing. It means something made her think of you or she saw your name & thought to text you. If you're working, don't respond. You're work is always more important than girls. If its weekend, don't respond. You're too busy having a good weekend & she might be checking to see if you're out with other girls. I don't recommend being 'to-the-point' with girls you're texting/dating. Woman respond best to guys who make them feel good. Thats most likely the reason you get a random "hey," she likes the feeling she gets when interacting with you. Keeping the conversation fun & light will give her this sensation. Kind of like when you where a kid you learned to wait till your parents where in a good mood before you asked them for a new toy... Next time you get a "hey." Reply with something like 'what, is dinner ready?' Her >"yes" (you get dinner, fuck ya!) "no" ('Well kitten, looks like we're eating out for dinner then') If she still says no/doesn't reschedule, fuck it. Date her sister.

Mouthpiece · 2014-07-25T00:30:21+00:00

Try this and see what happens:

"you bored? Let's go do something exciting."

MuchMouthen · 2014-07-24T16:21:51+00:00

I wouldn't overthink it. Many females want the guy to initiate, so when they are doing the initiating they will keep it short and sweet to see where it goes. You could almost see it as them asking you to talk to them.

To the rest of the post, you might want to avoid giving her everything in text responses. Keep it purposefully short and even a bit incomplete. For example instead of saying "I'm looking forward to joe's party friday night" you are better off making in more interactive like

you "Friday's going to be fun."

her "Whats going on Friday?"

you "Oh you didn't hear? Joe's having a crazy party."

her "No but that sounds like fun."

you "I might be willing to bring you if you ask nicely"

I find it's best to say as little as possible per text rather than being a more "very to-the-point" approach. It opens up more doors you may not have had open otherwise. Short messages aren't always a bad thing.

2014-07-25T00:02:37+00:00

She's probably validation seeking, if she doesn't have a guy constantly texting her sense of self assurance flies out the window. If she texts me hey, I would simply respond, and ask them on a date, otherwise, I'd ignore it. This is from a girl I met awhile ago that did this (she was only 17 at the time, I was 19):

her yayayay I'm off work!!! :) me that's great, hope you enjoyed talking again :), Sunday's looking good, right? her I suuureee did! And I'll let you know I'm not sure if family needs me again :(

This lead on for a few weeks, of her flaking like five times, our interaction was losing momentum, and eventually she suggested friends and apologized. I wasn't hurt at all, and just cut her off and moved my focus onto another girl I was talking to. I learned a lot about deep conversation with hot girls from that interaction, and handling their tendency to be stupid flaky. This girl was mad cute, long hair, great ass, model body, was a tad high maintenance, and was sort of not off her ex. I wasn't really looking for a relationship, I was more trying to get together, but she was a girl I'd pursue one with.

To take away, most of these girls are just simply not socially experienced, they send really simple, boring texts, that could mean so many things, hence why you're asking. If you send shit like that to girls, you will almost never get responses -- especially if you're meeting many new ones who don't know you that well. But yeah, just condense all of what you have to say into a text; e.g.

Tori, hey! Thinking we need to get together some time soon. What's your week looking like so far, when are you free?

The thread is obviously built that you are asking her out, since you didn't get her number on the premise of a date -- if she is receptive and wants to help you move things forward, she'll tell you when she's free, "busy" is total bull shit, even if she profusely apologizes, she will make time for you if she wants to get together in bed.

Seuguh · 2014-08-08T14:43:07+00:00

When I get a random Hey, I reply with Hey back. Then they reply with some weak shit question, I give them a simple answer and proceed with my day.

If you text me with Hey, I expect you to have something to tell me. I'm not looking to feed you attention just because you say Hey. My life was fine before you said Hey. You can tell how much a girl wants you by the way she texts.

If she only says Hey, and can say anything meaningfuk after that. It means she's saying to herself "Let me hit up this guy and see if he has anything interesting to say that would please me, let me see if he's worth something". Shit tests, all of them.

Casual convos are pointless if you haven't gone out yet and will lead you to the friendzone. If she doesn't have anything to say, fuck it, live your life,

rusty84 · 2014-07-24T17:35:10+00:00

When I receive them, I usually try to mirror the other person, responding in kind with some something like "hey there" to let them lead the conversation where they want.

Lead the conversation where you want...

so I said "so when are we finally going on our date?" I'm now waiting for a response.

And I'm sure she's not going to respond... You have to ask her out with a specific time and place.

Are they just wanting to small-talk, or is it some kind of way of getting my attention?

A little of both

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