I keep having interactions where I open, reach the hook point, we are chatting, although I don't sense any attraction and so I don't 'make a move'.

People tell me I need too 'assume attraction and start to touch her lots'

This feel weird to do when I do'nt sense attraction, but I have to take the advice of apparent experts.

So now i've had a number of interactions where I open, reach the hook point, we are chatting about this and that, and then I decide to start touching her. She seems fine with the more incidental touch etc, but as soon as I try to make it 'man to woman' and like grab her hips or rub her leg or whatever, i'm always rejected and then she leaves (presumable realising that I want to be more than friends)

Is it just a matter of them all being 'no girls' and don't want to be escalated on by a guy who they don't think is good looking or whatever? (like, i'm fine with an ugly girl touching my shoulder for a second, but I don't want her giving me a handy-J!)

Is there any tips etc that one can use to make it smoother?

Do I need to wait for a gap in convo? Or the opposite? Do I need to be talking about a certain topic when I escalate? Do I need to touch her under some sort of 'pretence' like a 'game' (thumbwars or whatever)? Do I need to use 'statements of intent' first?