Going to preface this by saying I’ve dated a lot of different people and I’m just generally trying to hear some other opinions on the subject. The internet has developed a connotative term for somebody is pretty selfish, rude, impatient or inconsiderate but masks these qualities by being “nice” in hopes that he will get something from women, only to reveal said qualities when he’s rejected, ie “you won’t date me you’re a hoe” or whatever. Clearly nobody wants a guy like that. And then the same group of individuals who use this connotation will say, “We actually do like truthfully nice guys,” or “we value kindness and honesty,” or “we don’t like guys who play games and can’t express their intentions,” which is great. Totally. Everyone wants to be respected.

On the other hand let’s take somebody who is generally just a sweet person. He is respectful because he wants to be and if he gets rejected he may feel hurt but he doesn’t take his feelings out on anyone else. Let’s say he is quick to respond to a person of interest, he’s attentive and enjoys doing nice things for people. I feel like a very unpopular opinion that many don’t want to admit is that these kind of guys are greatly overlooked. In the modern world, especially in upcoming generations, popular culture has evolved in a way that revolves around social media, women, sex and sometimes drugs / partying. If you’re a nice person people will think you’re weak and take advantage of you, women included. Being genuinely kind doesn’t get you anywhere. You have to be assertive, you have to be aggressive and you have to play games to an extent, otherwise you come off as desperate or weak.

Never have I ever been able to completely show true genuine qualities without being rejected or simply being viewed as more of a good match for a platonic relationship. Are there women who like those kinds of shy / sweet guys? Absolutely, but they are so rare in today’s world.

I don’t mean to say that genuinely nice qualities aren’t valued or appreciated by many, but I do mean to suggest that society is developing to appreciate those qualities less and less. Even outside the dating world, in other aspects of life, being nice will get you trampled on.

What does reddit think? Agree / disagree? Again I used to be the kind of person that was really sweet and nice to everyone and that only got me played and taken advantage of by men and women alike. Only when I started playing the little games and being a little ruthless did I start actually winning.