Was I being shit tested?

bengalibeonit · 2021-11-23T00:40:46+00:00

Seems like she had a logical reason to not go on the date, plus she took the initiative to reschedule.

Not a shit test, but also is, she didn’t value your date to the point she decided to take care of a friends dog over spending time with you.

Also, if something isn’t fine don’t say it is, saying that’s fine makes it okay for her to potential flake again since you’re “fine” with it.

you’re good w/o her, do not text her until she reaches out to you on the first week of December, in the mean time go on other dates.

vinylsnrock · 2021-11-23T00:39:52+00:00

Well she enphasizes she'd like to spend time with you, so I guess she really means it. How about saying "I love dogs, how about we go for a walk together?" if she denies that, you know what you got there.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-11-23T05:13:52+00:00

When you get a cancelation followed by a reschedule offer it's legit. Sometimes life doesn't work out and dates must be canceled. If she truly weren't interested, she wouldn't set up a counter offer. Her reason for canceling isn't vague either; it has plenty of detail. It's Thanksgiving week and flights/plans fall through. Chalk this one up to the holiday mess and ignore the delay, but pay very close attention to her interest level in you when you go out on your date. If she's distant or aloof, then cut her loose. She may have someone else on the brain and that's the only "tell" you'll get.

VirusTheoryRS · 2021-11-23T11:37:08+00:00

Do people still play games when dating at that age? Thats depressing to hear.

JadeGrapes · 2021-11-23T03:20:34+00:00

An hour before the date? Red flag... no matter the excuse.

In my universe this is really close to a no-show... most people have arranged their whole day around having a date, she doesn't value your time.

Especially for dog-sitting? More likely she double booked the evening, and you were the back up option.

Someone who didn't want to look like a flake would give you a heads up she could only meet for coffee, crate the dog, shower, & show up.

Angel-M-Cinco · 2021-11-23T16:23:14+00:00

You flaked on her and she returned the favor. Saying you overslept even if you honestly did sounds like you don’t have your shit together. You cant really be upset that she chose taking care of a friends dog more important than your date since you made a shitty first impression. The silver lining is that she made the initiative to reschedule. If either of you fuck that up forget about it just keep it moving.

poetichippi · 2021-11-23T11:42:51+00:00

I think her text was kind and reasonable. I think she left it til the last minute because she was really hoping to go. Considering you were late to the coffee date, she still waited for you, seems to me like she is interested. She gave you the benefit of the doubt then too. It’s only fair that you reciprocate, if you’re interested in her like you’ve said you are. Even if it’s not her friends dog, i would still believe she has something to deal with and may be too embarrassed to say what it really is. She suggested the date, you’ve text her say ok. She can reach out to you again closer to the time, or you could text her in a few days and ask her how the dog sitting is going.

Aekero · 2021-11-23T16:19:00+00:00

Had a girl reschedule, now she's my wife. If she's offering a reschedule and saying she's looking forward to it, take a leap of faith and be nice about it. If she ghosts you after that, well, I was wrong, but you're not risking a lot. Whether it's a valid excuse- who knows, maybe it's a case of the butterflies or she's just feeling overwhelmed.

Why not respond with empathy and understanding, and see where that takes you.

UGoEffyourself · 2021-11-23T17:36:42+00:00

As someone that lies a lot, specific details just emphasize the illusion. This screams bs. Furthermore, pushing off 2 weeks, to me, suggests that she is hoping the plans will fizzle or be forgotten.

I don't wait 2 weeks to meet someone I want to meet now, barring specific and understandable circumstances. This hardly qualifies as said circumstances IMO.

My dating life is hardly stellar so disclaimer about my advice: tread cautiously.

daddysgotanew · 2021-11-24T02:57:54+00:00

Not interested. When in doubt, apply the “Sean O’Pry test” as in “if Sean O’Pry asked her out would she go get her friend’s dog instead” The answer is no.

She’s just not that into you.

kawasakizx7rMonster · 2021-11-23T12:49:05+00:00

Seen the further context, doesn't change anything. She cancelled last minute because was looking after a dog. With respect. Get the french toast out of here. Men having standards is not a crime lol next her.

Mmm91for · 2021-11-23T08:27:03+00:00

The fact that she told you this one hour before is pretty disrespectful. Usually the rule for women who flake is to flake on them the next time you set something up. Flake on her the night prior and just say “I had other plans I forgot about”. Don’t tell her you plan on seeing her some other time. Let the suspense drive her to chase you.

EleoraHC · 2021-11-23T13:12:10+00:00

Oof keep us posted but tbh this looks like a time waster

1990MeWuzBorn · 2021-11-23T00:54:46+00:00

See if she’ll meet up with you at a dog park or something like that.

Suitable-Bowler-993 · 2021-11-23T01:43:08+00:00

Don’t worry about that shit bro you got it your already almost getting her at this point do what you feel is right like if you feel something it’s usually right so follow that

Venom_ViperX89 · 2021-11-23T07:22:19+00:00

Because she values u even ought to make it up to you: I would set up the date (all the details) like NEXT week, just to make it known that you aren’t easily shit-tested or don’t have free time to easily waste

Also, you NEED to take initiative and schedule on your own time and don’t budge, show confidence in actions! + Just stay strong 💪 +

great_account · 2021-11-23T08:05:52+00:00

I would forget about her. If she's actually interested, she'll reach out to reschedule. I would go out with her if she tries to reschedule, if not, don't bother.

watergate_boi · 2021-11-23T08:27:47+00:00

Possibly a shit test. Give the benefit of the doubt, wish her a lovely day and go no contact until she confirms a reschedule. If she doesn't then she wasn't that interested

CompendiumDigital · 2021-11-23T04:07:14+00:00

yes. leave her, no questions asked.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-23T05:51:38+00:00

No brother. Women are raised to always please people and make them happy so she didn't want to say it to your face and risk experiencing the unpleasantness of your disappointment. That's why she waited until the last minute but was still nice enough to tell you an hour before instead of just not showing up.

If it were me, I would put zero effort into taking her out again. You need to start making it clear to these women when you meet them that you have no interest in being their sponsor or provider, taking them out on lavish dates and going hone with your dick in your hand. Make it clear that sex between you is a forgone conclusion.

ASIMILAK · 2021-11-23T05:26:04+00:00

What matters is what happens in the moment @theNow

UGoEffyourself · 2021-11-23T21:30:00+00:00

Reading some responses stating "she responding with alternative plans, she's interested!" I didn't get from her text -- she echoed "the fun" that seemingly involve the plans she just cancelled. Like sure the place sounds fun, just like a cafe can be fun and so can a restaurant, etc... "too bad I can't make brunch. Let's to again, that place sounds so fun/good/cool etc.."

This is a hairline better than "can we reschedule for another weekend" or if "fun" bit was left out of her response. I don't interpret her response as "clearly suggested an alternative" and thus she's interested.

Sounds like she's trying to make herself feel better and let you down easy. You suggested you may have future, professional run-ins with her, which is an incredibly important fact -- I can't imagine she wants to burn a bridge or make things awkward on any professional level, unless absolutely necessary.

Title	Was I being shit tested?
Author	bennyj72
Upvotes	34
Comments	49
Date	November 23, 2021 12:18 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r0039p/was_i_being_shit_tested/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/was-i-being-shit-tested.1271871 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271871

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