I've been internet dating a lot recently and I'm getting sick of being treated like a probable rapist/murderer.

6ksuit · 2011-12-27T13:36:29+00:00

It's actually really reasonable to meet in public the first time. Why wouldn't you do that?

But yeah, if she's putting herself out there to date, but won't meet you at all, it's because she's not interested and that's her excuse. Sorry.

graveybrains · 2011-12-27T17:30:04+00:00

Meeting strangers from the Internet in public is good fucking advice, and you should insist upon it yourself.

skooma714 · 2011-12-27T14:00:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

brunt2 · 2011-12-27T13:07:13+00:00

She's just not that into you,,sorry dude. You should always meet them in a public place for the first date anyway.

AnUnknown · 2011-12-27T18:05:44+00:00

Protip - getting defensive when she wants to be safe meeting a stranger on the internet is going to make her all the less likely to decide to meet you.

It's not about men, women, black, white, young or old; it's about meeting a stranger off the internet, an inherently dangerous thing to do.

guizzy · 2011-12-27T18:11:19+00:00

I'm sorry, but those asking to meet you in a public place are right. It's not about you being a man, it's about you being a stranger. I do the internet dating thing too, and I would insist on meeting someone in a public place.

As for the other one who won't meet you at all, I'm suspecting she's probably going on dates with a guy she considers a more interesting prospect than you, but want to keep you as an option if it doesn't work out with that guy.

klippekort · 2011-12-27T17:22:21+00:00

I'm literally being told that they need to meet me in a public place

Would you prefer them to meet you in your bedroom? What the fuck, dude?

Octagonecologyst · 2011-12-27T13:53:56+00:00

You said she was awesome... but she doesn't sound very awesome.... I'm confused.

I need a nap.

hevo4ever-reddit · 2011-12-27T16:55:15+00:00

Dude!

Next time, before the meeting conversation starts. Tell them: Look i want to meet you but i want to do it in a public place. In case you are ugly, or a rapist.

The best part about this technique is that if you meet her and she is not your type you can just tell her that she is not what you expected and bounce.

2011-12-27T15:48:48+00:00

I've been doing the online dating thing too for a while. My rule is 2 messages and I ask her to meet. If she doesn't want to I move on and ignore her. I'm not looking for a penpal or chat buddy so if the girl doesn't want to meet me why waste the energy.

I know often they might seem very cool or like you are a good match but I bet if you take a second look at her now that she doesn't seem so cool you'll probably see some red flags popping up that she's wasn't as great as you thought she was.

youshallhaveeverbeen · 2011-12-27T17:04:55+00:00

and you "never know"

I don't know man.. based off of your rant here, I'd err on the side of caution. Sorry mate, you come off slightly rapey.

windynights · 2011-12-27T17:30:46+00:00

I have three daughters and one of them is doing the Internet thing. I don't like it. And I've told her to do whatever will keep her safe. She doesn't know these people she's communicated with. Sheesh.

Indog · 2011-12-27T15:23:16+00:00

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

You should always meet in a public place anyway. You don't want your "date" to turn out to be the Russian mafia intent on harvesting your kidneys.

Bobsutan · 2011-12-27T18:27:28+00:00

Online dating is horrible not only for the reasons you cite, but for all kinds of reasons. IMO you're scraping the bottom of the barrel, and you're doing yourself a disservice since your odds of finding success online are even worse than cold approaching in person.

memymineown · 2011-12-27T19:09:29+00:00

Eh, I don't see a problem with this. Whenever I buy something on craigslist or meet someone on a dating site I insist on meeting in a public place.

What I find more outrageous is women's ridiculous lists of requirements on dating profiles.

2011-12-28T03:06:58+00:00

It's more of a fear of strangers on the internet who can be literally anyone, than of you because you're a man.

Meeting someone new in a safe place is a good idea no matter who it is. Men feel they don't have any danger from strange women more often I think, they are more daring in doing so.

I think everyone should be cautious, but really the issue I think is that you're trying to date women who aren't interested in meeting anyone in general. They are second guessing their decision when it becomes too real, and using that as their excuse. You join a dating site for the purpose of dating, if you're not going to do so we can guess you weren't planning on it anyway (my viewpoints, take them as you will!)

drinkthebleach · 2011-12-28T03:45:53+00:00

She could murder you too, ya know. I'd bring that up.

KMFCM · 2011-12-27T18:32:21+00:00

You should want to meet them in a public place beforehand too.

You know if these girls like to false accuse for sympathy, or castrate people or use fake photos.

discdigger · 2011-12-28T01:20:57+00:00

I make people meet me in public just to sell them my old junk. You have no idea who is actually on the other end of the internet, and there is no way in hell I am giving them my address.

2011-12-28T01:31:24+00:00

Yes, replacing a non-racist expression with a racist one makes it racist. Amazing insight.l

Demonspawn · 2011-12-27T16:35:23+00:00

This rant was trigged because I met an AWESOME girl that I really like and she WON'T MEET ME ... even for coffee in a public place because she's worried I might be a rapist/murder and you "never know"

No, you didn't. You met a poisoned soul that you will constantly have to "prove" you aren't "that guy" to her over and over again.

ASubhumanMale · 2011-12-27T17:34:57+00:00

The "awesome" girl is a drama queen and an attention whore. You don't want to deal with that anyway.
You should ALWAYS meet in a park, cafe, or library first. Make it a public place where you are not spending $$$ and you can walk out in 20 minutes. You'll thank me when you meet that chick with 10 year old pics on her profile who weighs 100 pounds more than she did in college. A LOT of women are extremely dishonest about their online appearance, and what's worse, they don't see anything wrong with it.
It sucks that we have to deal with a culture programmed to fear men, but consider setting up a blog or a website with your name, your interests, your pictures, etc. I already have a website set up with my professional portfolio so when I used to date online, I could send the link once I had a few interactions with a girl.

graffiti81 · 2011-12-27T17:09:46+00:00

At least you're getting dates.

Leahn · 2011-12-27T13:08:01+00:00

Dude, to put it bluntly, I do not think that she is an "awesome" girl if she thinks like this.

Consider that those beliefs do not come alone, so if she believes this, what other misandristic beliefs she holds and how much grief can she bring to you because of said beliefs?

2011-12-31T05:22:28+00:00

These girls have been watching FAR too much TV.

Maybe they've been listening too hard when people say they need to take steps to protect themselves from rape.

I'm literally being told that they need to meet me in a public place for fear that I might kidnap them or rape them.

There is a nonzero chance that you, a mostly unknown person from the internet, are a bad person who wants to do bad things to them. Since it's not feasible for them to tell whether you're a bad person over the internet, and the small risk of having something horrible happen to them is obviously not something they're willing to accept as-is, they take steps to minimize the risk of that first encounter.

2011-12-27T14:44:53+00:00

I almost never watch TV but am on vacation with family and watching constant TV.

Your totally correct, it's a river of blood by men torturing women to death.

It's brainwashing.

Women are being trained to hate men but our women on this site will tell us how normal.

What we need is constant education about how young women have all become grifters using mens love for children and family against them to take money and destroy lives.

The marriage strike would speed up......this is how feminists think.

Title	I've been internet dating a lot recently and I'm getting sick of being treated like a probable rapist/murderer.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	46
Date	December 27, 2011 12:57 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ns8pd/ive_been_internet_dating_a_lot_recently_and_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/ive-been-internet-dating-a-lot-recently-and-im.1030026 https://theredarchive.com/post/1030026

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