In one of my writing classes, a girl in our group wrote a story about how she and her fiance are coping with her current pregnancy. After she read her story to the group, my professor, a man in his 60's, remarked, "Is it common these days for couples to have children before marriage?"

The four people in our group, three young women and one young man, explained to our professor that the girl is lucky if the man even stays! The more common set up these days is - girl gets pregnant - boyfriend runs to the hills.

This story is usually followed by the refrain, "there are no good/responsible men these days! Ugggh!"

Ladies and gentleman, you can thank Feminism for this new societal development.

Thanks to the changes made by Feminism, Fatherhood these days confers more risks than benefits, and more net losses than gains. Lets look at the data:

According to the United States Census Bureau http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf, only 42.5% of first marriages last. Your chances of winning Black Jack are almost better than your chance of staying married.

Another fun Census Bureau stat, 97% of those paying alimony are male.

These days, young men have learned from the mistakes of their fathers. When a man "Does the right thing" and marries his pregnant partner, there is a high likely hood of him paying the bills the rest of his life, when the marriage falls apart.

Okay, so why don't men just decide to not marry - but still stay with their partner? Well, an increasing number of men are taking this route. Today there are actually more unmarried than married couples living together.

But even this arrangement is risky for the father, because in the very likely chance the relationship ends, he will get the "every other weekend" arrangement while paying all the child support (since 84% of child support payments are made by men).

Can you see where this is going? Fatherhood = no time with children + bills.

Also, there is no enforcement that that money actually GOES to the child, or their best interest. Often this child support is misused. I worked with one man who had to eat Spam every day at lunch while his ex-wife was using his child support money to buy the kids i-phones and designer clothing. Despite this wasteful spending - she was taking him to court to get even more child support out of him than what he was already paying. Their marriage ended because she was having an affair. Now the ex-husband is paying the price for her adultery.

You may ask, so why don't men do the responsible thing and practice a little planned parenthood?

Men have little control in the child birthing process. As of yet, there is no reliable birth control pill for men. Condoms are not always reliable either. Some women who want to get pregnant can easily prick holes in the condom.

Once the woman is pregnant, the man has no say in the matter. If he decides that he wants to keep the kid, the woman can still get an abortion and kill his child. If he decides that he is unable to care for a child, she can still have it anyways and press him for child support for the next 18 years of his life.

So now, are you still surprised that the new norm is Daddy playing a game of Ding, Dong, Ditch?

With little say, little freedom, and almost no benefits, many men are resorting to leaving the state or even the country to escape the confines of "fatherhood" cough Slavery.

The only way we can bring Fatherhood back is if we reform alimony, child support, and abortion law.

ALIMONY:

END IT. It may have had a purpose 30 years ago, when women did not have the skills necessary to enter the workforce, when it was expected that a woman would live under a man's care. But in this day and age women have more jobs than men and are earning more college degrees. The few sectors of the workforce that are increasing are predominantly female: administrative and care taking roles. The male dominated sectors of the workforce, construction and manufacturing, are experiencing massive cuts.

CHILD SUPPORT:

Split child custody 50/50 and end mandatory child support payments. Each parent shares 50% of the DNA. Why should one parent get more time than another? End of argument.

ABORTION LAW:

Reform Abortion Law to make the decision process include both parents.

First let me say this, a woman shouldn't be forced to have an abortion if her boyfriend doesn't want the baby. That would be incredibly traumatic for the mother. BUT...and here is the big BUT...there should be a legal arrangement that gives the father an"opt out" option, if he is opposed to the birth of the child. Legally, the biological father should have a choice about his role, just like women do. The "opt out option" will state that he will have no part in the child's life, pay no money for the child, and have no part in a relationship with the mother.

Only when our circus troupe of a government adopts these reforms, will men begin to feel like they have some agency over their lives...and become more comfortable with the idea of fatherhood.

EDIT: I notice my phrasing of the Abortion section confused a lot of people, so let me add a few after thoughts to make my point more clear.

I'm not saying that we should change Abortion law itself. That would be a very complicated-near impossible endeavor that would basically involve over turning roe v. wade.

What I'm saying, is that our government should institute a financial law. Lets say a young, 18 year old couple gets pregnant. The mom wants to have the baby, but the dad doesn't think he's ready/financially capable of taking care of the child. Women, legally have a choice. They can choose to have a baby or not to have a baby depending on their life circumstances/religion/beliefs. Yet men aren't allowed this choice. My financial law would give men a financial "opt out" option. This option would declare that the child is NOT legally his, he has no rights over the child, and he doesn't have to pay the kid child care. To some of you this may seem cruel, but if a mother has a choice...why can't the dad?