In the 1980s, the French thinker René Girard launched the concept of 'mimetic desire'. It means: wanting to be or to have things because other people have it, especially people with higher status or whom you think have higher status. Unsurprisingly, the desire often is based on a misunderstanding.
I see a lot of characteristics of 'mimetic desire' in feminism. Feminist women want to have things they think men have and like, while men often don't like and even don't have those things. Some examples:
- working and having a career: most men work, but don't have a career at all. They would like to work less and at least partly be provided for.
- be promiscuous: many men aren't promiscuous, many even don't have sex at all. Even the hottest men must put some effort into having sex. For many men, if it really was easy to get a new chick in bed every weekend, most would get sick of it.
- be strong: the words 'power woman' form the most kitschy expression of the last few years. Men are strong when necessary, but the most pleasant and impressive men are not showing off about it all the time, and are glad not to have to show their strength too often.
- be profound: one way or another, many women think they have to impress others by saying or writing something profound, often with the actual level of a church calendar aphorism. Men don't find it that important to be profound, they don't even see such a big difference between everyday and more fundamental topics.
- have their own revolutionary movement. Before 2nd wave feminism, many 'revolutionaries' in the west were actually middle-class men doing their best to be solidary with the working class and with non-western guerillas. The movement was as little 'their own' as it was that of middle-class women. You're only really having your 'own' revolutionary movement when you're so oppressed that there is no other choice, and that is not something to wish for.
Does this make sense? And do people see other examples?
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[+]icehalf2 points [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link
I've always been a bit confounded by the feminist idea that the "opportunity" of having a career is an advantage. Like, you see men spending their lives working all day to make somebody else rich and you....you want that?
It was great for corporations, though. With all the feminists wanting in on this great "opportunity", employers have been able to hold real wages flat. Now it takes two full incomes to support a household in most places, so men and women are both expected to work full time. A true feminist victory.
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[+]icehalf3 points [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
Women have always had a chance to make money. You're not seriously under the impression that feminists pushed for this because all of the unmarried women were otherwise starving out on the street, are you?
It's only more recently that feminists have framed working as a privilege rather than a necessity, though.
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Having a job is the literal opposite of financial independence or self-actualization. Yes, men have goals and dreams, but they're about leaving their job and not having to work for somebody anymore.
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Women had always been able to choose to work, and men had always been able to choose to be stay-at-home partners. All feminists have done is normalize two-income households. Real wages have adjusted accordingly, and now most people no longer have the choice to be a stay-at-home partner.
[–]BaileysBaileys 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]icehalf2 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I'll break it down for you.
Single men had no choice but to work, just as single women had no choice but to work. They did it because they need money to survive.
Partnered men who went to work for somebody did so because they and their families decided that it made sense for their family to break down the work so that the man went to work for somebody and the women took care of the house/children.
Partnered men who chose to stay at home rather than work did so because they and their families decided that it made sense for their family to break down the work so that the woman went to work for somebody and the man took care of the house/family.
For families having children, the former was more common because women give birth to children and can nurse children, whereas the man could continue going to work during that time.
Now, most men and most women no longer have those choices, because it takes two incomes to support a family in most places. Feminists have popularized the notion that we get paid in "self-actualization" now.
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I agree that the strawman you just refuted is incorrect.
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