I was groomed at the age of 15 by an abusive and sadistic 32-year-old. My whole life was filled with bad relationships with both LV scrotes and narcissists. Last year I found FDS and left an abusive marriage, filed for divorce, and filed for a restraining order (leaving a narcissist is not pretty).

Because I was never in a normal and loving relationship I always had this looming guilt about what turned me on. I used to like rough intercourse and being used to turn me on. I don't want to go into details because now it disgusts me.

I wanted to share some things that have helped me immensely: weekly therapy sessions, I cut off porn completely. I cut off people who didn't treat me like I wanted to be treated, I stopped being a people pleaser, I started treating myself like a queen, I stopped letting others get away with mistreating me. I'm now the queen of banter and putting people in their place. Funny side note* I have a big family and I used to be scared of telling others the truth. I used to tiptoe around everyone's feelings. Now, I'm the no BS person that will always tell it like it is.

I've had to undo a lot of damage and it has not been easy AT ALL. But I noticed that the better I treat my body, soul, and mind; the more I invest in myself the less shit I take from others. I have finally reached the point where what used to turn me on 2 years ago, disgusts me so much so now that I want to vomit.

I also used to be attracted to cocky guys that have that ugly smug look plastered on their scrote-face 24/7. I thought it was fun to take on a project and be the one that changes them. NOT ANYMORE. I can now spot them from a mile away.

I'm so happy because I used to be this shy girl and attribute my people-pleasing tendencies to my personality; like it was something that was permanent. After going through the handbook, the reading list, therapy, and letting FDS seep into the rest of my life.... It is a total game-changer.

Looking back I feel like I was in shackles, a slave to some other incels fantasies. What turns me on now is someone who actually makes me feel pleasure, and feel good about myself.... Which makes so much logical sense!!!