Don't let a man colonize your life if he doesn't respect its value AND add to it.

XNjunEar · 2021-10-08T06:30:00+00:00

Don't let a man colonize your life ~~if he doesn't respect its value AND add to it.~~

pat_labor_of_love · 2021-10-08T01:57:21+00:00

I hate my ex-husband for what he did to me and my children. He treated me, and my son, HORRIBLY. I will never forgive him for it. He took advantage of me, my loving nature, and the inherent vulnerability of a mother with young children, dependent on her husband for support. He did not step up and take parental responsibility, he only played at it (occasionally, during brief moments when he would focus on his daughters and play Daddy to them). He would never discuss parenting issues in a mature way, but continually shut me down with violent gestures such as loud banging on the table, breaking things, threats of violence, abandonment, humiliation, and financial ruin, as well as gaslighting, manipulation, hateful comments, false accusations, and creepy attempts to shame and humiliate me. He used me for free labor. He would constantly work against me, make my life harder, and set me back. He repaid me in daily housekeeping, money earned, regular massages and sex (with orgasms, of course)—all of that would have been fine if it hadn't been for the extreme abuse. He actually beat me once, brutally, leaving me with black and blue bruises all over my body. Classic patriarchal ruler in the domestic realm who makes his wife a slave to his demons through systematic abuse. I was a human sacrifice to his demons. Stay away from men who have a lot of demons. Don't let a man colonize your life unless he respects its value and adds to it.

katiekat0214 · 2021-10-08T02:00:46+00:00

That's what I fully intend to avoid by insisting on living apart together, and keeping all finances separate, if I ever get involved again. Been there, done that twice with marriage, second time happy, and while I'd love to have close, loving, monogamous fun companionship... that's about it! No marriage, no step-parenting EVER, no extra cooking, cleaning, caretaking. Pretty hard to colonize someone's life when you live apart and are close companions. That said, I know that won't work for everyone, but it does for me.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-08T10:51:55+00:00

I’m glad i keep my friends but i see a lot of women that when they broke up, they have 0 friends left

Sewud · 2021-10-08T05:56:25+00:00

Great advice!

pat_labor_of_love · 2021-10-15T19:38:23+00:00

I'm back! I wasn't able to access this subreddit for several days. I didn't know if FDS had a problem with this post, and if so, why, or what. I still don't know why. Did Reddit kick me off, or did FDS?

Title	Don't let a man colonize your life if he doesn't respect its value AND add to it.
Author	pat_labor_of_love
Upvotes	186
Comments	13
Date	October 8, 2021 1:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q3nwer/dont_let_a_man_colonize_your_life_if_he_doesnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-let-a-man-colonize-your-life-if-he-doesnt.1076791 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076791

Comments