According to one study, 43% of women who are murdered by their intimate partners had been strangled by them in the past year. Once a woman has been strangled by her partner, the likelihood that he will strangle her again rises tenfold. The likelihood that he will murder her rises nearly eightfold.

Peak_Tree · 2021-10-15T15:21:40+00:00

But if he does it in bed you are supossed to believe it's harmless. Pickmes really need to get through their heads that anything that is considered abusive outside the bedroom is most definitely abusive inside of it.

This ridiculous idea that a man a good partner while being a woman hating mysoginist that mistreats you in bed so badly that you need "afercare" because you are traumatized is some of the most ridiculous nonsense I've seen in years.

EDIT: typos.

AnniaT · 2021-10-15T16:19:09+00:00

There are DV shelters that ask immediately if the victim was choked and if they reply yes they'll give them place immediately.

Also it doesn't matter if the choking is outside of the bedroom or "consensual bdsm choking", it's always an indicator of abuse and that the chances of this man murdering you are high.

Drpyroxene · 2021-10-15T16:31:40+00:00

I was strangled multiple times by my ex (not in bed). I know he would have killed me if I had stayed sng longer. If you or anyone you know has been strangled they need to look for a thumbprint bruise behind or close to their ear. It is proof of strangulation. Further, being strangled can cause permanent damage and can lead to life long micro strokes. I'm worried about my future because of that honestly. Ugh.

arnezuara · 2021-10-15T18:43:51+00:00

I’m not surprised, although it breaks my heart.

When I was dating my ex, he would gently kiss the back of my neck in moments of intimacy; it was so special and sweet. Until he angrily grabbed it hard to intimidate/scare me.

This is the reality of dating an average man. Most, of not all, of them are opportunistic and/or predatory. They will deliberately damage you.

Sewud · 2021-10-15T21:57:37+00:00

When I turned 21 and my older brother was almost 25, we were visiting my parents' house, I complained about something, my brother went for my neck, he strangled me against the wall, pushing up so that I couldn't move away. He said he hates me so much and he wants to kill me, that I have a face that he wants to punch, then he pretended like he was going to punch me in the face to scare me, then he let go. He doesn't remember this happening and everybody says it's impossible, even though that's exactly how he was growing up when we lived together.

Of course my brothers did okay. They are married, their wives are doctors, they have children. I'm not worried that my brother will be violent to his wife. He wouldn't be like this because it wouldn't benefit him to be like this. But there's like a loophole where you can beat up your sister and it's not illegal.

When I was a kid my parents told me my older brothers would stop bothering me if I didn't react, that they were doing it to make me cry so if I cried I was motivating them to keep doing it. It's the same when women are told that they are responsible for the behavior of abusive men because they give him attention. I'm tired.

Averyhvw · 2021-10-15T19:04:06+00:00

How do you tell this to a loved one who is trying at all costs to preserve the family unit? She doesn’t want to hear negativity about her husband from the outside, and she might even go tell him what I said. She may already know this statistic, she likes true crime. This is so hard…

fds_throwaway_4_u · 2021-10-15T16:08:11+00:00

Holy shit.

Healingirl · 2021-10-15T15:39:31+00:00

Omg this gives me the chill since my ex strangled me. TG I left him a few weeks after that.

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