Why are pedophiles fine when the victim Is male?

Human-Radio-8804 · 2021-10-21T17:12:14+00:00

because boys are made of Snips, snails
And puppy-dogs' tails

and girls are made of Sugar and spice
And everything nice

CyclopeWarrior · 2021-10-21T17:25:14+00:00

Because when the victims are women we are ready to perceive them as helpless victims of their circumstances with no agency whatsoever in whatever happens to them.

When the victims are men, the reaction becomes a list of accountability moments where the victim could have avoided the situation, has agency in what happened to them, and everything else involving responsibility.

Every situation should be seen with both mindsets in place, but it's usually an either/or scenario. A double standard.

Danny_Mc_71 · 2021-10-21T18:08:45+00:00

Do people really tell you that you must have "led him on"?

What kind of arseholes do you know?

That is victim blaming.

Polimber · 2021-10-21T17:17:43+00:00

Who the fuck thinks this? I'm not judging your experience, I'm judging them.
Very sorry this happened to you

benttrow · 2021-10-21T19:18:01+00:00

You make a very good point. Unfortunately, the rules do not apply equally.

Iceman_Hottie · 2021-10-21T21:56:32+00:00

Because a very significant chunks of feminism were created by pedophiles, namely the "patriarchy" delusion was created by a pedo, Simone de Beauvoir. She is not the only one, so most feminists are happy to cover for them, and if the victim is of a class they are fighting against it becomes not just OK, but a moral good (in their perspective).

The majority of people do not think about things deeply enough to recognise the damage caused by the things they tolerate.

There is also a general empathy gap between the genders, and I can't really think of a good way to explain it right now.

Melohdy · 2021-10-21T21:26:10+00:00

I think that perception is only true when the perp is female

connecteduser · 2021-10-21T22:20:22+00:00

Because innocence is beautiful on women and ugly on men.

The sad part is that a man's innocence is viewed as a personal failure and not a protected quality of their character.

ImpossibleAir4310 · 2021-10-22T04:02:04+00:00

Thanks for posting this. It’s not fine at all. But victim blaming men is unfortunately all but ubiquitous; I too know this from personal experience. Survivor here also and I had to seek out a support group that was for men only to be able to share my experience and have it validated. I have found that flipping the genders on my abuse story instantly makes it more relatable. Statistically speaking, 1 in 4 or 5 men have experienced SA of some kind. That means roughly 30 million men (conservatively) are dealing with it right now in the US alone. How many of those do we see speaking out publicly?

There are books about why. Dr. Richard Gartner has written extensively on child sexual abuse specifically as experienced by men, both for survivors and clinicians. It’s not exactly the same. One big difference is that men often re-encode their premature sexual experience as a conquest memory to distance themselves from the emotions they felt, and that is not common among women. Once invested in that coping mechanism, anything that may remind them of their abuser or their own helplessness may be seen as a threat and trigger anger, as was the case with my father. So men who’ve not fully realized their sexual abuse history and cope through denial/reframing can easily become unwitting gas-lighters and victim-blamers to protect their well-entrenched position, and may perpetuate the abuse cycle in the process, especially if they had no validation or access to support.

Don’t blame the men who are trying to survive the only way they know how; it’s social issue that is about a lot more than child sexual abuse. There are for-profit businesses popping up now that appear to do nothing other than provide a private, male only space to share, such as “Men’s Group.” Personally, I’m offended by someone with no credentials trying to sell me the ability to be myself. (No trained clinicians involved, just a random “group” for over $50 bucks a pop.) Then again, I’m sure they’re meeting a need for many people who don’t have access to professional support groups. The best and most of expensive group I’ve been to (mentioned above) was $80, capped at 6 ppl, men only, and it was always run by the same therapist, who also did individual therapy with some of the group members.

Even after members rotated, they all, every single one, relayed experiences of gaslighting and victim blaming, and going without help for years, sometimes decades, because no one would listen. Great group of guys, who all couldn’t find a place that would recognize the simple fact that male children are still children - just as vulnerable and easy to influence and hurt as girls before a certain age. No child can match the manipulation skills of a pedo without an adult protecting them. I try to allow room for others’ versions of the truth, but in this case that’s universally true, regardless of societal attitudes or unconscious projections. To disagree is utter nonsense, and I make no apologies for that statement, bc any other stance essentially allows room for child abusers to hide.

JennyConcinnity · 2021-10-21T18:30:56+00:00

It is not okay. I am sorry for your experience.

Anyone who says predators of any sex preying on children deserve to be tortured and killed.

Tawiskara · 2021-10-21T23:49:18+00:00

I would say it is because feminists and their ilk have pushed for decades that men can never be the victims in sexual assault / rape and they should just stand back and enjoy it.

sre01 · 2021-10-22T02:52:56+00:00

Unwanted sexual attention of any kind toward males is rarely taken seriously. I can remember when I was 13 or so, my mother's friends would say things that would get a man hurt if I were a female. Im not sure why, but it's definitely an unwanted double standard.

AnthonyCarmine · 2021-10-21T21:51:46+00:00

Sorry this happened to you

Don’t listen to people that say you’ led him on’. They are probably nonces themselves. A normal grown adult knows not to seek out kids.

This whole culture shift within the west over the last decade has messed things up, to the point where female victims are seen more than male victims.

It’s crazy.

spiccy_puta · 2021-10-21T22:17:01+00:00

they also don't think women can groom young girls and boys (i.e my case several times)

EgalitarianFacts · 2021-10-21T23:40:20+00:00

Men are disposable in our society. We don't matter. We should all act like it.

Niemand_94 · 2021-10-22T08:19:45+00:00

People are idiots, mate. Don't listen to those cunts.

yoitsericc · 2021-10-21T19:46:08+00:00

I don't think your experience is typical - however, we do see a lot of school teacher and student headlines where they say had sex with instead of rape...

night_chaser_ · 2021-10-22T02:09:20+00:00

Double standards. Women are never at fault, regardless.

mukelynnvinton · 2021-10-22T03:10:28+00:00

Pedophiles are disgusting animals. It doesn't matter the gender of the victims. Or the gender of the perp. They are all disgusting. I know I'm not answering the question according to the way you intended. But I was molested as a teen. The very thought of it turns my stomach. My perp is now dead has been for some years. Which is a good thing for me and him both. I was also raped my a female as a child. Who is nowhere to be found. I take great comfort and pleasure in knowing that God reserves a special place in hell for people who do this. I was told many times that I should forgive them for what they had done. But I am yet to let it go. As a result I'm very cautious with my own children. Where they go. Who they go with. How long they go. I fell I must watch them at all times in public. Living with paranoia really sucks. I no longer see my part as shameful. But to see theirs as grotesque and not worthy of life.

HullSimplibus · 2021-10-22T12:08:46+00:00

I know how you feel mate. I'm honestly sorry you had to go through that.

I was groomed between the ages of 12 and 15 by a man I looked up to from a young age and thought was a friend. As far as I became aware he is a registered sex offender with convictions.

I reported him to the police and they investigated him, gathered all the evidence against him via seizing his phone, PC e.t.c. but chose not to charge him because of "lack of mental capacity" and because there was "no direct victim" because it was an offence committed over the internet.

Yet the police had my phone for god knows how long because I was also accused of them of "possession and distribution of indecent images of children" due to the images I had taken and sent of myself and even told I could end up on the sex offenders register. Thankfully the case was dropped due to lack of public interest. But that wasn't the end. I still live in shame after what he did to me.

It's horrible, but my advice would be to take every day as it comes. What happened happened; you can't do anything now, so focus on what you can do.

I'm 17 and living in a foster placement now. Life is on the up and I can see a good future. Things can only get better.

locks_are_paranoid · 2021-10-21T18:49:33+00:00

Given how much contraversy there is around Catholic priests molesting boys, male victims are still taken seriously in some situations.

pubgmisc · 2021-10-22T01:59:47+00:00

the west is a gynocentric social order

togotfury1983 · 2021-10-22T03:21:31+00:00

Because society doesn't see men as victims

MrStone1 · 2021-10-21T21:57:55+00:00

Morality in society has been degraded intentionally for a very very long time, A plethora of weak leaders turning a blind eye to men in their charge who have a penchant for raping and in some cases murdering boys being protected because their compliance can be guaranteed, Be it government, religion, military, police, intelligence service, multi national charities.

Eventually their are enough of these people in positions of influence that they can begin to influence the consciousness of people in the wider world and incrementally destroyed the very foundations of people who want to protect the innocence of children until eventually their coup de grace...

Their is no innocence left to corrupt, Children are defiled in the womb by drugging the mothers through pregnancy, Removing fathers completly, Degrading the standards of education and destroying educational systems that fortified the mind and replacing them with ones they fracture the mind, soul, society connection and create a society of less then human humans ran into destruction by less than men men for the benefit of the perverted, myopic perspective of soulless dead men.

Lucifer had a point, Humanity is wretched, Gods a fuck up

fsphoenix · 2021-10-21T22:31:18+00:00

Sorry you had to deal with something like that

MopBucketMcJangles · 2021-10-21T23:13:07+00:00

You should ask Catholic Church apologists

This_is_a_sckam · 2021-10-22T05:14:57+00:00

I mean we all know the answer to that....

We just wish it wasn’t true

Svenskbtch · 2021-10-22T09:46:28+00:00

Really? I would have expected some of that reaction if the perpetrator was female (and not that much older) - but not if the perpetrator was a much older male. True, you would not get as much sympathy as a girl (with a male perpetrator), but somewhere halfway.

But that was only my expectation, and I am sorry it happened to you. I find the accusation of leading him on disgusting, because even if it were true, you were 14 and he was much older. It is one thing to be a pedophile (there is another word as pedophile means attraction to prepubescent children) - the crime here is acting on those tendencies knowing how harmful and traumatic his actions can be. Jordan Peterson once said it is not tragedy that causes trauma, its malevolence.

It happened to me too. I rejected the advances of my coach, and my parents still sent me on another trip with him. I was 12. I am not suffering from it at all, nothing actually happened. But, looking back, I am a bit struck - especially as little later my country was gripped by a frenzy of paranoia about pedophiles with several false convictions.

N64crusader4 · 2021-10-21T21:41:41+00:00

Nah it's not when the victim is male but when the perpetrator is male.

TAPriceCTR · 2021-10-21T23:38:26+00:00

14 is ephebophelia, pedophelia is attraction to prepubescent.

You know why it is "fine", it's "fine" for the same reason "bring back our girls" was international but nobody said anything about the boys boko haram was burning alive. no one gives a crap about men and boys.

Cxrxna_Virus · 2021-10-22T01:46:56+00:00

Sorry you had to go through that, people should really consider your feelings more.

The reason for your question may be the pedophiles preference, but it’s still a terrible thing to do either way. People like them need to go to jail or seek therapy

AnOldSchoolVGNerd · 2021-10-22T01:51:22+00:00

When people say you "led him on", what is your first response, and is it also your last response?

Do you phase them out of your life?

BlindMaestro · 2021-10-22T03:33:15+00:00

It’s not. Jerry Sandusky is universally considered a monster, and there are currently reckonings occurring against the Boy Scouts of America and the Catholic Church (victims mostly boys between the ages of 11 and 14). We’re even appalled by the abuse of boys on the other side of the world in Afghanistan. No one thinks it’s fine. Everyone is sickened by it.

Stranger_Memer · 2021-10-22T21:28:59+00:00

Your story is the effect of toxic masculity and the way society engages in it.

It about male stocism and how men being expected to be big and strong, other words gender norms.

shapez13 · 2021-10-21T23:56:42+00:00

There are always people that say ugly things like this to both male and female victims. Sounds like you need therapy if you think it "always feels" as if people look down on you and you carry this mindset where you have compare it to a girl being groomed. Wish you the best.

CrowMagpie · 2021-10-23T08:58:15+00:00

This should've been my first comment on this thread: it horrifies me that anybody would say a 14yo led on an adult. Or that they'd look down on you for something that happened to you.

randomdragen · 2021-10-23T11:57:33+00:00

💯

Criket · 2021-10-25T02:59:25+00:00

In the '70 I was abused, battered and raped by a couple. Only the man faces jail and repercussions. Even if she was the instigator and the psycho violent one, she's got no punishment.

Keopsfuj · 2021-10-22T12:45:39+00:00

I'm not sure if this is a real story, but if you are underage, even the far most extreme feminist will not hold you accountable for this.

Only very conservative men would do what you said.

humanfairy · 2021-10-22T04:27:31+00:00

I'm very sorry this happened to you but I don't think anyone has ever said or even thought that pedophiles are "fine when the victim is male?" like seriously who has ever said anything like that. I do think that men are not taken as seriously when it comes to grooming/ assault but I hate to say it, most of the people who are not taking them seriously is other men.

Chudsaviet · 2021-10-22T01:02:38+00:00

Actually people aren't fine with this, look at Catholic church scandals.

Title	Why are pedophiles fine when the victim Is male?
Author	Explise209
Upvotes	776
Comments	125
Date	October 21, 2021 5:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/qcwhzc/why_are_pedophiles_fine_when_the_victim_is_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-are-pedophiles-fine-when-the-victim-is-male.1082627 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082627

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