It has been 2 days since she left

Dat_Steve · 2021-12-11T19:22:04+00:00

Hey internet stranger.. I was right there with you. That feeling of alone is pretty strange isn't it? Don't mask it or push it away. Try to embrace it and recognize it and create a response plan for it. It's a gap in time that was previously filled with someone else maybe dictating how to spend that time. So guess what, now you get to choose what to do with it. Do something positive for yourself or that loyal furball of yours.

Take the dog to the dog park, go to an outdoor fair/art fest, volunteer, workout, lift weights, go on a run, learn a new hobby/skill, oh and dog-brewerys/restaurants are a thing now those are cool. Don't jump too quick into filling that void with a a woman. Allocate that time how YOU want it to be allocated. In short, do whatever the hell you want.

33649 · 2021-12-11T20:47:51+00:00

It will get better, OP! Embrace that quiet house, that there is peace!

Creative-Drop1816 · 2021-12-11T20:44:52+00:00

Take it one day at a time. Find some hobbies and get out their and enjoy just being with people. Maybe go to the gym or find places to talk with people. I've recently started small talk while in line at grocery store or pumping fuel. They don't need to last long, but it's good practice and enjoyable.

Stay strong Brother

KEK0811 · 2021-12-11T22:32:54+00:00

Damn, brother, thats the thing. You go from all of your time being "our" time to being "your" time. The change is unreal. You never realize how long a day truly is until you wake up at 6:30 with nothing to do. For me, I dove headfirst into working more. Dissolution was final 2/20/2020, and I worked 55 hours a week average in 2020 and 51 this year. Trying to find something to occupy all of this time, but have all of my around the house projects done. Maybe try to get back into something that you enjoyed before you were married that you had to give up. Work on yourself. I've built a gym in my basement for me and the kids, and it's been great. The best I can explain to others about my life now is that somedays I wake up and I feel lonely, and some days I wake up and I feel free. The days that I feel free are now far outweighing the lonely ones, it takes time, but you will get back to your identity being "me", not "us". And every day will be a little better than the one before. Keep your head up!!

24cce57a · 2021-12-11T20:57:17+00:00

Be glad that you don't have children. That makes it 10 times worse. I don't even care about my ex. But I do care about my children, and she stole them from me, and has been withholding them from me for the entire year.

My advice is find a local Church, establish some good friendships, strengthen your faith in God, and allow Him to provide peace to your heart.

RhinoS7 · 2021-12-11T22:00:31+00:00

Go buy a cheap car. You have an open road now.

C20H25N3O-C21H30O2 · 2021-12-11T23:45:13+00:00

Try to find a hobby. It took me a while just to remember what I liked to do for fun. Learn new skills or just try out random things that sound interesting. There's nobody to hold you back. You might be able to buy a cheap campervan or RV and travel if that's your fancy. The world is your oyster, brother.

Scared-Worker7869 · 2021-12-12T04:39:39+00:00

I wish I could tell you it will right away. It will but not anytime soon. You'll grieve. You'll hurt. You'll be mad at her. You'll be mad at yourself. You'll want her back. You'll never want to talk to her again. Eventually you'll find yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive her. Long road and alot of hurt ahead. But in the end as the horrifying sound of the refrigerator kicking on becomes a comforting sound. You'll find yourself. Best advice I can give is. Becareful with your money. Talk to a trusted person about the experience. Love yourself. This is advice I wish I had a year ago as I started the journey you are on. You'll make it through. Might even lose a few notches off your belt in the mean while. Best of luck my friend.

ChainsawJones1984 · 2021-12-12T06:17:56+00:00

I remember those times. Sometimes that weird lonely feeling was crushing. But after some time it got better.

One thing I have enjoyed is adding some smart home automation to my home. When I get in the driveway, some lights come on, and the TV turns on. I don't know why that makes the house feel lived in, but it feels more welcoming than walking into a quiet dark house, although the dog would help.

RedditDude07467 · 2021-12-12T00:03:49+00:00

Do a push-up every time you think about being alone. Your future twentysomething girlfriend will thank you.

CaliBoundDad2015 · 2021-12-12T05:32:49+00:00

You got this! You are going to learn so much about yourself! Enjoy it!

pegleg_legal · 2021-12-13T02:21:58+00:00

Enjoy the peace. Get better at that.

Title	It has been 2 days since she left
Author	CoachCWC
Upvotes	24
Comments	24
Date	December 11, 2021 7:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/re6h06/it_has_been_2_days_since_she_left/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/it-has-been-2-days-since-she-left.1087410 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087410

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