25 Years and Ending it Today

Creative-Drop1816 · 2021-12-10T02:53:29+00:00

Be careful with being noble. I feel like you are probably well off, but things can change rapidly. Being fair in this situation turns against men very quickly.

I didn't believe my attorney when he said the courts would be more than willing to make me live off of $1200 with 50% custody. I told him that was basically destitutely poor. He literally told me the courts do not care about men.

I am basically an indentured servant. I am tied to my job that I wanted to quit as soon as the divorce was finalized and I am forced to provide almost 50% of my income after taxes(of course uncle Sam comes first) and I have to also provide all insurances via my job until my child turns 18.

I was expecting child support and alimony but I never thought I would be put in a position that I would be required to stay at my job. I always thought they would give me a dollar amount and I just needed to pay it.

I have a county job that has a really good health package, and my Exs attorney used that against me and wanted to make sure that was locked in so my Ex will never have to pay a single medical bill or spend a dime on health insurance for our child. This job is soul crushing and not worth it though and I would have left a long time ago.

I don't tell you this to discourage you, I just want you to understand how complex things can get and if you don't fight it will get really bad really fast.

I fought against all of it, and they basically just told me to shut the fuck up and shoulder my responsibilities and if I didn't they would prosecute me for shirking.

It still blows my mind thinking about the fact that I pay another adult money for just having spent time with me as I paid for everything and then the courts just want me to keep paying a capable adult that just didn't want to work. This day in age I don't think alimony or child support should even be a thing anymore.

Even after all of it, still worth every fucking penny. 4 more years and I'm completely free.

Good luck my guy, and stay strong brother.

Wewinky · 2021-12-09T22:04:37+00:00

The issue with falling on your sword is you get stabbed.

ChainsawJones1984 · 2021-12-09T22:01:05+00:00

The smartest thing you can do is get a good attorney. Not the first one in the phone book. Put your whole deal on the table and see what is important before you put it into a settlement.

If you're not careful, you will be living out of your car of someone's couch. What first timers don't realize is that there is a starting offer and it moves in her direction. When the attorneys get done, you could very well be in the poor house.

No man believes that until it happens. They believe in fairness and doing the right thing, right up until that whole idea is used against them.

PrettyCoolBear · 2021-12-10T00:03:30+00:00

I'm another member of the 25 years club. There are many specific events that led to the break-up, but at the end of the day, neither of us was the same person we were when we got married, and over the course of the marriage we had grown in different directions (politics, religion, personal tastes).

Divorce was finalized in late 2019. I'll be paying her for a long time, but I am doing fine on my own and we are on good terms.

The initial loneliness sucks. (Highly recommend a dog; they are infinite love generators.)

Online dating sucks, too!

But time heals.

sicrm · 2021-12-09T21:08:00+00:00

talk to a lawyer ASAP if you haven’t already and push the divorce through.

if she changes her mind, especially with how long your marriage was, she can really drag things out.

25_years · 2021-12-09T21:54:59+00:00

for my own sanity I felt I had to do this

Check out my username. You are not alone.

Playbackfromwayback · 2021-12-10T08:29:55+00:00

I’m a woman and agree 100% with the advice to hire a lawyer and advocate for yourself. You may eventually want to get remarried or date and the crushing responsibility of financially providing for another human- forever until they die- will absolutely eventually crush you. Don’t do it. Don’t commit to it, hire a reputable attorney who specializes in divorce, and take their advice.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2021-12-09T17:41:19+00:00

Man don’t leave her. Sounds like she needs you. Remember your vows. I may get tons of crap for this but in a marriage you put each other first. Go get some counseling. If you go out and screw around that’s on you my friend. Please don’t destroy 25 years. I promise I know.

Bipolar_investor · 2021-12-10T05:53:47+00:00

Doest add up

Title	25 Years and Ending it Today
Author	CoachCWC
Upvotes	20
Comments	26
Date	December 9, 2021 5:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/rcm62c/25_years_and_ending_it_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/25-years-and-ending-it-today.1087780 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087780

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