I used to read a lot of romance, I read a lot in general but at some point romance became my genre of choice. At some point romance became my genre of choice. But since finding FDS I've naturally gravitated away from it. I just slowly realised the role it had in encouraging me to put men on a pedestal, forming crushes and just expecting less from men.

I also stopped reading erotica. Similarly because of the way it was subverting my view of sex and my desires. I've really looked and there's not a lot research out there on the impact of erotica, porn is only recently getting the critique it deserves so I'm not surprised. I wouldn't put erotica on the same level as porn but most are increasingly disempowering for women. It's another matter I've been wanting to put towards this sub

My real issue here is I miss books that sexually excite me. Reading is my main source of joy for all things and I have a great imagination but it doesn't replace the joy of reading. Reading was really tied into my sexuality and now I feel a bit bored. I tried rereading a sexy romance a few days ago and I couldn't read it freely - it was so clear that this woman was recreating porn on paper and I was surprised I hadn't seen how nasty it was before.

What do I do? Is it worth searching for erotica/romance that is empowering for women - is that even a thing? I'm starting to think maybe not. Is there a substitute? Has anyone had similar issues or revelations too? What have you done? Advice would be great