My wife says her lawyer told her not to let me see my child.

clayduglass · 2021-11-29T14:44:51+00:00

Ask your lawyer.

hadrianviceroy · 2021-11-29T15:13:46+00:00

Document it all. Show that you tried to meet at mutual locations etc. The more you.can show you.are being reasonable and not using the child as tug of war the better.

SnooGoats9698 · 2021-11-29T17:36:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RalphWastoid319 · 2021-11-29T18:34:33+00:00

Document, document, document everything with regards to your stbx. Especially document the dates & times that you have asked to see your child. It is not harassment to ask to spend time with your own child (That your stbx is playing keep away).

She is trying to document status quo that you are not spending time with your child to look better in the eyes of the court for custody purposes. Email every request to see your child, so that you have the time stamp. I don't think it would be unreasonable to request every day to see your own child. You are still a parent and without a parenting schedule, are allowed parent your child at any time. Is your child old enough to attend school? Why not drop by for lunch (and a talk with the principle about the situation)? I used to do that all the time.

Her response of "She said we feel unsafe around you" is yet another tactic to try an control the narrative and gain custody with the not so veiled threat of domestic violence. If she is that scared, why has she not requested a TRO? Make sure that you consider recording all of your interactions for your safety.

You should be requesting an emergency custody hearing to move this process along. A month or two is one thing, being at 4 months she is keeping your child away is another. I hate this system that doesn't hold mothers accountable for their atrocious behavior during divorce proceedings.

And open a new bank account and move your money. As long as you don't spend her 50% of the money, no harm no foul. If she needs money, she will have to ask for it. Let the negotiations begin.

derelictherds · 2021-11-29T16:27:28+00:00

Why does the temp hearing keep getting delayed? Have you discussed with your lawyer?

jimsmythee · 2021-11-29T16:49:10+00:00

You'll need to speak to your lawyer now. You'll need to document all of the times you tried to see your child, but were unable to see your child. It's a matter of you contacting her EVERY DAY. Telling her, "I would like to see my child." And then you document the reason she gives you why you can't see your child. Then you can present this as evidence.

Why is she doing this? Telling you "You need to wait for the temporary orders meeting", and then keeps pushing out that temporary orders meeting.

Because she wants full custody and you to pay maximum CS $'s. It's a divorce tactic. Or called a "Divorce dirty trick."

Daveman1988 · 2021-11-29T17:29:34+00:00

So basically I told her we need to spice things up and she basically ignored me. I wanted to eat healthier and get us both in better shape and she thought I was being mean. I recommended marriage counseling and she said no. I started going to counseling and she said she wanted to separate for awhile and take our daughter. Then After a few weeks she withdrew money from savings and slapped me with divorce papers. I haven’t seen my daughter since that time. She keeps rescheduling or her lawyer is busy or my lawyer is and the holidays and all have pushed the court hearings back. I messaged her numerous times respectfully like her do you wanna come over to get some things and bring Chloe by. She said we feel unsafe around you… I have never hurt her never touched her in a violent or angry manner I never really ever lost my temper with her I even worded things when I said “we need to loss weight and we need to eat healthier “ I meant her really but didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I tried to be a good husband and gave her no reason to say that at all and my daughter can’t speak yet so I know she doesn’t feel that way. She used to tell little white lies ALL THE TIME when we where married she said she just embellished things…. She’s lying about me I guess saying I’m some violent ahole or something.

kapriece · 2021-11-30T06:43:18+00:00

There are alienation laws in Evey state. Without a court order her lawyer broke the law and can be disbarred. They're banking on you not knowing.

AtomicMGTOW · 2021-11-29T15:20:12+00:00

Unfortunately, nothing, not really.

Basically you have to 'take it'. You may want to keep notes of when you asked to see your daughter and your ex refused but in the end that doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things BUT it can help you feel better when (not if) she starts accusing you of not wanting to be involved in your daughters life. At least you can look back at your notes and perhaps find some solace.

Ya see, if you keep trying, your ex will pull back, claim it's best for the child, and then make it look like you're harassing and/or manipulating (guilt & shame) her.

But if you 'grey rock' and go 'no contact' (except when absolutely necessary) then she'll say you don't care and don't make an effort to see your daughter and you aren't giving her money and/or buying things to help them.

So you can't 'win'. Sorry mate. This will test your patience to the extreme. And I'd bet your ex knows this and intends to hurt your for some trespass real or perceived.

If you think your daughter is in any danger you could do an urgent motion but unless mom is a drug addict/criminal you probably don't have grounds for such a motion.

If the lawyer really did tell her to withhold your daughter your ex may have painted the picture that you're abusive, but failing that, both the lawyer and your ex probably know that if your daughter loves and misses you, this will make mom feel really bad.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-11-29T22:16:59+00:00

You have to bring what's called an "URGENT" motion that gives you regular access to your child. Here is what you do:

Write to your ex's counsel that if parenting is NOT started ASAP, you will be bringing an urgent motion to start access.
You can start slow: Don't ask for 50/50 right away, but ask for a "Graduated step up" to your desired goal.
Make sure u record all interactions with anything to do with ur kid.....it sounds to me like false allegations are the next step

Bipolar_investor · 2021-11-30T04:49:50+00:00

All i know, is you can't do "nothing". Keep proof of you trying to see your child.

akihonj · 2021-11-30T10:23:15+00:00

What can you do.

First get your lawyer to file an order for child contact. Let your lawyer know what your wife said, this puts the lawyer in the hole for possibly giving illegal advice, if they didn't then it means your wife is lying and bringing the lawyer into her lies, which makes her a very difficult client, damages the trust between client and lawyer.

Don't be afraid to fight dirty here, you have to be prepared every bit as much as she is.

Title	My wife says her lawyer told her not to let me see my child.
Author	Daveman1988
Upvotes	15
Comments	26
Date	November 29, 2021 2:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/r4x3sg/my_wife_says_her_lawyer_told_her_not_to_let_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-wife-says-her-lawyer-told-her-not-to-let-me-see.1089718 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089718

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