Age 35, Height: 5’9, Weight: 170, BF ~17% (Comparing images on internet).

Married 5 years, together 12. Have 2 daughters 3yr and 1yr.

Have read: NMMNG, WISNIFG. 25% into both MMSLP and MAP. Read sidebar. Lift 5+ times a week.

Found MRP about 2 month ago

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Not sure how to handle these situations and it has now happened twice this week. Don't want to Rambo or do something stupid but also don't want to be BP.
My wife likes apologies for a lot of things and previous BP life has made this somewhat common. Since I started reading the books and MRP content I have been trying and improving my backbone and frame. As a result, I am trying to set some boundaries here and am now constantly having to reiterate on several occasions that I'm not apologizing when I don't think I did anything wrong (but will own it if I believe I did fuck up).
Tonight, she wanted an apology for me making a dinner for myself while she watched our two young kids, and thus I was selfish. I broken recorded I'm not apologizing for not doing anything wrong. She started making it about me not caring about her feelings. I held ground. I would say I'm not afraid of confrontation like I used to be which means I can be calm but assertive.

The thing is, she started crying, shaking, and just getting super emotional. Something she hasn't really done in years. I held firm still. She pulled me in the other room so we wouldn't do this in front of our kids and is saying she doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't apologize for upsetting their partner's feeling. I said I do care about her but don't feel I should apologize since I did nothing wrong. She is shaking a lot and after a while I just say I am sorry for upsetting her and go back to making dinner. She stays in bathroom.
Like 10 min later I'm ready to eat and need her help watching the kids. She is lying on ground. I asked what she is doing and she said something about being miserable and me not loving her. I told her I love her a lot, kiss her on the head, and walk away.
I pretty much STFU rest of night and we both mostly return to normal although you can see in her eyes she is clearly sad. Night ends with me putting our youngest to bed as she says goodnight and goes to bed, no kiss or anything.
My question is if this seems like I am handling this well? Am I going to hard too early? Should I be handling this differently? This exact scenario happened more or less 2 nights ago.