It comes to my attention that some of the ladies here, especially newbies have trouble accepting the concept of continuously vetting even after finding a really great guy - or you have been with a really great guy for a few years maybe.

And just can't imagine continuously vetting him, it is too cold-hearted - because you want to be wholeheartedly in love with him and enjoy the relationship.

So let shift that perspective and try a new angle - lets try the "Wing Mindset".

Basically, imagine yourself having a pair of really beautiful wings that allow you to fly wherever you want at a moment's notice. It is big, it is strong, it is gorgeous - it is yours and yours only, and it is your freedom wings.

It needs constant care, daily brushing, the whole work. When you are single, you allocated specific hours of the day just to care for your wings - and some more hours to just stare at it and fly around in the sky, marveling at its strength and beauty.

Then you meet a guy, and he is the most handsome, gorgeous, ideal man you have ever met.

Suddenly, you find yourself spending more and more time with this man and less and less time tending to your wings. You still care for it, but the hours is cut short because your man is calling.

The come the kids, and the family, and life. And before you know it, the wings become severely neglected - dirty, ragged, skeletal, weak. You can't even flap it properly, much less fly.

And then something BIG happens - doesn't even have to be betrayal from the man, but some things in life are imminent - tragedy, disaster, death. Or perhaps just something laughably simple like falling out of love - it happens.

And suddenly you are left alone with a broken wings and the inability to fly.

Won't it be better from the very beginning - you continue to tend to your wings, firmly allocate the compulsory hours of the day just to tend to the wings without him bothering you? Or better yet, he take the active role of helping you tend to your wings - and look forward to that chore everyday.

Even when the kids, the family, and life comes - you still firmly and ruthlessly tend to your wings and keep it beautiful, strong and gorgeous so that if anything happens, you can flap your wings at a moments notice, and fly away.

That pair of wings can be the symbolic to anything and everything - your standards, boundaries, personalities, financials, career, yourself. And the ability to continuously vet a man even when you are well in years of happy marriage is the thing that allows you to continuously keep those wings in pristine condition.

It isn't about being distant and aloof, untrusting of his every move 24/7 - it isn't about him at all.

It is about YOU and only you - you continuously vet in the sense that you do not forgive any slip, any mistreatment, any "joke". You let him know that you will never, ever tolerate any disrespect and will fly away the moment something change and you no longer want to stay.

So ladies, enjoy your relationship with the great man. Let him treat you to amazing dates, build a life with him, immerse yourself in all the happiness that life offers.

But never neglect your wings. Continuously vet and keep the wings on ladies.