This is a continuation of my previous post :

"I am afraid I will be conned by a psycho man that only reveal his true face after years of marriage"

I want to encourage all of you ladies - instead of worrying about the man (you can't control kind of man you will come across) - instead focus on sharpening your observation and vetting skill so that you can SEE the man for what he truly is, instead of projecting your morality and humanity onto him.

Regardless of how far along your relationship is.

I stand by this and I will say it again - most men are horrible, lazy liars. They have NO INCENTIVE to keep their lies straight because they have NO REASON to do so. They only need to be charming until you get hooked - and then you will do all the work for him. You give him benefit of the doubt over and over again, excuse his behavior and blaming yourself.

You see the "small" signs that makes you uncomfortable - but instead of cutting him off, you point it out to him and make him promise to never do it again. And think because he "straighten himself out", you are all good. And continue to stay and develop deeper feeling to him. And after a period of bliss - he "suddenly flipped overnight" and you never saw it coming.

Ladies, remember the "small" signs?

Most women would benefit greatly from understanding that those "small" problematic attitude, "small" burst of anger, "small" disrespect he accidentally show you, "small" ignorance when you need his attention - basically anything "small" that most women in relationship like to chalk to as "Oh he is having a bad day".

HE IS NOT.

That is his mask slipping because he is careless. And his "apology" after you pointing the issue out and "righting" him is not him apologizing for his mistakes - he is annoyed that you caught him and begrudgingly putting the mask back on while planning on how he will "punish" you later when you are well and truly tied to him.

Abuse always start with the small signs. He didn't just "suddenly change overnight" - he is that all along, you just let him spin you in circles long enough until he see that he doesn't need to lie and hide anymore.

Hell, even if he is truly kind and are generous and all that - but he is not as warm and close as he was before - that's a red flag. A man who is truly infatuated with you will never stop being infatuated with you.

When FDS says you have to vet for red flags - we mean ALL red flags. Big and small and you-need-to-look-twice-to-see-it miniscule.

When FDS says you have to be "ruthless" - we mean you have to be RUTHLESS.

We mean you are ready to get up and get out the MOMENT any "small sign" start to show. Even if you didn't like the way he breath smell or something - ANY small sign.

You make ZERO excuses for him, NO benefit of the doubt ever, NO wondering and pondering and asking "He is amazing in all this areas but..." - when there is a but, you GET OUT.

Sound cruel to you? What do you think when FDS says you have to adopt a Queen Mentality - you think a Queen will let small things slide and keep making excuses for the man?

A Queen will ponder and wonder and consider this "great guy with all HV qualities but... he watches porn..."?

A Queen will let "small signs" slide and excuse his rude behavior as "He is having a bad day?"

A Queen will keep giving chances to a flippity-floppity guy because he says he has "changed"?

A Queen is called a Queen not because she has a big heart and accept everyone and all that martyr bullsh*t - A Queen is called a Queen because she is RUTHLESS to the point everybody have no choice but to bow down.

If you want to be a Queen you gonna have start developing yourself into one - and that means DISCIPLINE. The discipline to not let a man play you.

The rule of thumb is this: If he makes you feel "off" - you are done. Get out.

Stay safe ladies.